What does it mean when you have a dream about an ex, but you weren't dreaming about memories?

This ex boyfriend of mine was my longest relationship of 6 months; He's very country and southern. I haven't spoken to him except for 5 minutes when his friend asked me if I still wanted to get back together with him, and we talked off his phone; this was about one month ago. Just last night though I had a dream where I met up with him because we have a lot of mutual friends and we agreed to workout the tension between us so when we hung out with friends we didn't want to kill each other. Some how though we ended up on a beach and we talked out everything, next thing I knew we were kissing and it wasn't a small kiss either, it was a long one and it felt like there was finally meaning and passion behind it. After the kiss I just broke down and started crying and he just held me saying "Everything was going to be okay and that we'd work it all out."(I never cried in front of him when we were together, and even when something was wrong he never held me like he did in my dream) While he was holding me though he pushed some hair back out of my face and kissed my forehead continuing saying "Everything's gonna be okay" after that we were back at his house and it was somehow now winter again, and I was talking to his mom and she said he really missed me. Then he came back into the room and gave me his favorite hunting jacket and we just cuddled on his couch with the fire going and watching movies; I'm not sure what would've happened next because I woke up.
If anyone could maybe help me on what this could possibly mean you'd be a great help! Also this is good to know, I'm now dating another guy, who is similar to him, but is at the same time completely different.

  • I miss him
    Vote A
  • Don't bother with it
    Vote B
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1) To dream about your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend or ex-husband/wife, that you and your ex are fighting/kissing or that you and your ex got back together again suggests that something or someone in your current life is bringing out similar feelings you felt during that relationship with your ex. The dream may be a way of alerting you to similar behavioral patterns in your current relationship. What you learn from that previous relationship may need to be applied to the present one so that you do no repeat the same mistakes. Alternatively, you may be reflecting on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. Dreams of getting back together with your ex or of your ex wanting to get back together with you may not necessarily be a reflection of reality. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships.

    2) To see the beach in your dream symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.

    3) To dream that you are crying signifies a release of negative emotions that is more likely caused by some waking situation rather than the events of the dream itself. Your dream is a way to regain some emotional balance and to safely let out your fears and frustrations. In your daily lives, you tend to ignore, deny, or repress your feelings. But in your dream state, your defense mechanisms are no longer on guard and thus allow for the release of those feelings that you have repressed during the day.
    (will continue in next post)

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    • 4) To dream that you are kissing your ex indicates that you are looking back on the positive experiences and good times that you shared with your past love. This dream may be triggered by some major change in your current relationship and how far you have come from those past relationships.

      5) To dream that you are cuddling with someone indicates your need for physical and/or emotional contact. Do not overlook the obvious meaning of this dream which suggests your heart's desire for that particular person. Also consider the symbolism of that person you are cuddling with and determine how you need to acknowledge, accept, and unify those qualities in yourself.

    • 6) To dream of winter signifies ill-health, depression, and misfortune. The dream may be analogous to how you are feeling - emotionally cold and frigid. For some, winter may mean a favorite time of the year signaling the holiday season of fun, joy, togetherness and giving. Alternatively, winter is a time of reflection and spiritual

      source:(dreammoods)
      dream dictionaries are very helpful

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 18

  • It sounds like you could be longing for the idea of him, and not who he is. We all wish people were perfect... But they are not.

    You know what kind of a guy he is.

    Is he the guy in your dream? Not likely.

    is he going to become the guy in your dream? Nope.

    If you go back to him, you are going back to the exact same guy that you left. Do not deceive yourself into believing he is somehow different, just because you have feelings brought on by a dream.

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  • It means nothing other than you have been thinking about him a lot and your brain is processing the information in its abstract ways. Deciding what to keep, where to store, and how to store the information.

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  • It sounds to me like you not quite over your ex yet and that's why your dating his clone. But as far as the dream goes I wouldn't read to much into it because it is probably your subconscious mind telling what you wanted from him instead of what you got from him

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    • I understand what you're trying to say, the only thing is my current boyfriend is like him but isn't. when it comes to the similarities they are VERY close, but when it comes to the differences they are more far apart than earth's distance to pluto.

    • Ok well I hope everything works out for you

  • I wouldn't read to much into it. Dreams are created from memories and experiences. Just because a past husband is in your dream is just random and not something that is significant. If the dream is reoccuring all the time then maybe you'll need to talk with a professional

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  • well I don't know if anyone can help you at all to decipher your dream haha but sounds like you had a good dream.

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  • To me, dreams mean stuff, I'd say google it...
    You probably miss him, however, it's normal even in terrible situations...
    It may be best to get over him, there are so many guys out there!

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  • Honestly dreams are just your mind putting stuff in files if you think about in a computer way. its just your brain putting stuff away. Don't worrier about it.

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  • it means the thing or person you were dreaming of was in your subconscious mind
    and while asleep in your relaxed state, it came out

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  • 1. Your mind may be saying that you don't want to get back
    2. But your heart sure wants to get together with him
    3. All that romance and caring is a sign of wanting to be loved, cared, pampered & understood
    4. Taking you to his house is your wanting him accepting you in totality
    5. His mother talking to you is a complete circle of his family loving and accepting you
    6. You want to be loved, cared for, understood & respected as well as accepted by him and his family. As all of them matter to you :)
    7. Vote 'A'
    8. All the above is dechipering the dream. But before you take any step, you need to weigh why you guys parted ways (cause you also said 'we didn't want to kill each other')

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  • It sounds like you miss the potential of what you hoped to be there. It wasn't so you moved on, but you subconsciously still have hopes for what you wanted it to be.
    You are still getting over the loss of the relationship is all. He wasn't the person you needed in a relationship. Don't let a dream cause you to settle for less than what you want, need and deserve.
    You are clearly wanting a relationship. I would say it's time to get out there and see what you find. It will help in getting over him.

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  • Yea you are still holding feelings for him and the new guy has similarities to your ex but it's hard for you to let go of how you feel that's why you had the dream. I see your still talking to him while your going with
    this new guy. Don't do that cause your going to hurt the new guy. If you still have feelings for your ex you need to come out and tell him how you feel. You got ween the good things from the bad. How does the new the guy treat you. You got make decisions without hurting the new guy cause it's not fair to play
    games.

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    • I'm not playing games, and i haven't spoken to my ex in about two months and that was before i even started talking to my current boyfriend. I've had times though from February to about mid April where i had to hold my self back from texting him and saying how i feel. I even spoke to some of me friends that go to school with him and they just said 'no, he flirted with other girls while y'all were together. He lied all the times, etc.' so when his friend askd if i wanted to still get back together with him, it messed with my head a little.

  • Sorry, didn't read the post but your headline said it all. When you dream, it means you were/are emotionally invested. The "target: is irrelevant. Dreams are rarely comprised of memories, that's PTSD, whole different animal. Dreams are the brain's way of practicing, if you're dreaming about intimacy, it's what you currently desire. The past helps shape the for of the dream, as learning how to bake bread from someone will shape how you want to learn. Bottom Line: It's not where you are, and you are going to great places

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  • if your not over a ex, they gonna haunt you forever

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  • Don't bother with it. I don't think dreams really mean anything.

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  • As a rule of thumb I was taught you will miss someone for half as long as you were with them.

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  • There are four types of dreams and try to find what type of dream you are having..

    1) you dream about a person who u meet and talk all days
    this dream is related to the a mechanism of brain to relase the imprint or space occupied by the other person , mind releases such burden if you are too much invested in a person

    2) You dream about a person whom you desires
    And here other have created so many barriers; and now you are not feeling so much closer.. there is a suppresion in you and now this suppression can cause dream
    3) Dream from your unconscious mind
    its a communication from the unconscious. . It simply shows to you that you are trying to escape from the person.
    4) past lives and future lives
    dreams related to past and future lives and its about someone whom you never met or known..

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  • Come on it's just a dream but if u have it frequently then u miss him

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  • It's your subconscious talking to you. How you respond is your decision...

    I believe that people tend to grow on us. When we fall in love, we give them a home in our heart!

    For that matter, the girls I had feelings for some 30 years ago, I still think of them tenderly today. (I may not want to turn the clock back, because you can't go back in time, but I really do feel tender about them... sometimes I regret the road not taken!)

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What Girls Said 12

  • I believe deep down you still miss him and have feelings for him and Do think about him either every day or Still once in awhile. And it's Normal to have these dreams, for this is probably what you've been wanting and wishing... At least If "Everything's going to be okay."
    Now you have what I call a "Rebound Robert," and I am sure when you are with him, He reminds you every minute you're together of----the past.
    It sounds in some sense You've moved on and he has too, so Continue as you've been doing. I also think by keeping someone who is' similar to him, but is the same time completely different,' you are learning to cope better with the break up.' Just don't get too carried away with this 'face fact,' and just know he Is who he is and-------the Other Ex half is who he is. And I think also that after awhile, when I would have seen you were Still together, I could take him off the 'Rebound' list and on your 'Pay him much mind' list. And I mean Only him, not the Ex, that is...
    Good luck. xx

    Good luck. xx

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  • I don't think it's A or B. You have created your ideal fantasy man and this is what you would like it to be like. Your ex was the last romantic attachment you have had and so he will take the place of that man in your fantasy until you meet another one. Often when we break up with people we fantasise the relationship as being better than it was. We start thinking, oh well maybe if we gave things another chance then maybe we'd closer, more romantic, more loving. It may happen, but it is unlikely. There is a reason you broke up, and often it is to do with either incompatibility or lack of communication. If it is the latter then maybe there can be a reconcilliation, but it will take a lot of work from both parties.

    There is a chance you still miss him, but this shows you want a future with someone that is romantic, is tender towards you and really cares for you. Your ex was just playing the part in your dream. Ask yourself was your ex really like this?
    If the answer is no, then you know that these are your needs and they won't ever be met if you go back to your ex.

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  • My ex and I broke up on Friday and on Sunday i had a dream where he sent me a message saying " i love you" and i said " you love me? " He was typing and i woke up... i realized that i have done that before... You're not the only one who has had a dream like this, they honestly suck especially when you were really close to that person...

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  • It sounds like you still miss him, and you haven't fully grieved your relationship with him.

    I found when I was getting over my ex, after a month or so or struggling, I was trying to push him out of mind every time he entered it. As a result, I started dreaming of him non-stop, like you it wasn't memories I was dreaming. I came to the conclusion that because I wasn't allowing myself to grieve consciously, my brain was making me do it subconsciously.

    I'm not saying that you need, or should, think of your ex all the time and try and come to terms with whatever is bothering you, as not only will it drive you mental but it will drive your new partner mad too.

    Just try and relax, understand that EVERYONE has dreams about their ex and it doesn't always mean something. It may be that the new guy reminds you of your ex and you haven't quite got him out of your head.

    See how it goes with your new guy - onwards and upwards! :)

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  • If you are dating a new guy, just forget it. After all it was just a dream. Do not destroy your current relationship with those.

    Good Luck.

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  • You miss him. How come you guys broke up? If I may ask..

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    • Since both of us are still in school that has to come first, and he wasn't doing so well the first semester. His parents and i always got along no issues, so when he said that his dad said he had to give somethings up that way he can focus on school, i understood that the girlfriend had to go first, but he did say we could maybe get back together after the school year ended, yea that worked out well lol. A few months later i find out that was a bunch of bull honky, as one of my friends who goes to school with him said i wasn't allowing him to be him self, but thats where i saw an issue because i didn't care that he drank or dipped, the only thing i asked him to not do when i was with him or when we were talking over facetime was smoke e-cigs. I just have an issue with cigarettes because my dad smokes. A couple weeks ago one of his friends who I've come to be realy great friends with told me ANOTHER story as to why we broke up. I forget the reason, but it made me laugh because thats 3.

    • Hun, I don't think this guy was any good to you. Luckily, you're with someone else. You still miss him, but that's normal. When reality sinks in, you'll start dismissing his presence.

  • You might have some leftover feelings subconsciously.

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  • Neuroscience student here... Dreams have no bearing on reality. They mean absolutely nothing.

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  • Have a one night stand with him and tell me how u feel then

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  • ur still thinkin about him and somewhere deep inside u still wanna be with him

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  • Sweetie happens all the time with relationships for girls and guys. You might need to talk to a professorial about it. I had the same issue with guys and recurring dreams, after being together for 6 months and ending. It's good to keep your stuff written down like in a diary or something so you meet someone to talk to you don't need to over think it. Live in the moment. I know this part sounds silly but a good way to release all of that can be through meditation. YouTube it and it helps relax your mind. Polls aren't the answer for your question.

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  • Your unconscious talks for you. It seems like you can't stop thinking about him even if you don't realize it.

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