I gave her my life and she crushed it. I gave this relationship everything I possibly could mentally, financially, emotionally, you name it. When she wanted to give up on getting her degree I encouraged her and even fronted her money for the classes and books to finish up. I pulled strings to get her the job she wanted after she moved in with me 1 1/2 years ago. I fronted her almost a grand to get her car fixed and even paid for part of it. I put my name and money down for an apartment so she would have a place to stay after she left college. I put myself second for her.
We would fight over the same issues, and it never got resolved because she could never make an effort. I couldn't trust her, and she kept doing things to justify my mistrust and insecurities. She would never communicate with me, and when we did it was never constructive. It didn't last. I can't help but feel betrayed by the woman I loved so much, like I was used and she put on a fake smile for however long she's been feeling this way.
I need to know what I did wrong, where did I stray?
Most Helpful Girl
The biggest red flag I see is in your own words: you put yourself second for her. You enabled her to do nothing for herself, and while some may think you very generous - which, in a way, you were - you never gave her an opportunity to see what she's made of. It sounds like she's done some growing up and wants to find out who she is, without needing hand-outs.
Whether or not you intended to say this, you specifically wrote that you "loved" her - past tense. Do yourself and your ex a favor: stop blaming yourself, move on to the rest of your life, and wish her the best of life in her own, and learn from this. You cannot have a healthy relationship when you don't care for yourself. Good luck!1