Attention seeking ex girlfriend?

[Anonymous]

Hi girls could you help me out here?

After my ex broke up (lost attraction) I gave her a 3,5 weeks No Contact. She tried to reach out several times in this period. "How are you doing" ect.

Now the NC is over and we meet and later talked over text and snapchat. She was really impressed with me. "You look good", "you look like you are doing great" ect. She was also very very interrested in all the new things that is going on in my life (I made many changes in No Contact). She also agreed to go for coffee with me... So there must still me some sort of interrest there (Either romatic or friendly)

But now a few days later she constantly sends me messages on snapchat. Just random "Got a new dress", "Going to the gym" and such. I keep complimenting her every time, and teling her: "You look good", "is that a new dress" ect. But no reply anymore? I can see she sends all these snaps to at least 20 other people...

Is she just hungering for attention?
Or why would you girls play these games?

At least it must mean she misses the attention I once gave her...

[Poppykate]

If these messages were to you and only you, I would say that she is interested. But since she is sending them out to her network of friends, I would say that she only wants to be a friend. (She is just hanging onto you to make herself feel good). You can stop this by being direct with her. Ask her on a date, if she says no, than count it as her lost ( she sounds really immature to be playing these games anyway), and go you own way.

[Asker]

Well I asked her if we could work out sometime at her gym (We did this very often when we were together) and she said yes... So?

[Asker]

Dont know if that counts as a date? (I didn´t all it that)

[Poppykate]

As a girl, I would see the gym as a friend thing. Maybe ask she out on a real date where you need to get dress up. That way your intentions are really clear. Go old school, pick her up, take her flowers, open her door. Etc. it doesn't have to be expensive ( maybe a candlelight dinner at your house). But you have to make it look like you have put effect in. I know it sounds like a lot of effect but if it is the right girl, it won't be.

[Mgoods]

Omg, she sounds terrible. Surely you know you're just there to flatter her ego. Is that all you think you're worth?

[Asker]

Thanks for your reply... :(
That is the reason I am asking here. I can understand how woman work :))
I have given her a No Contact period, and that seemed to have a great effect and made her very chatty about feelings and giving me compliments. It was very nice.. And made me think: Is she starting to have second thougts?
But then, 2 days later, this behaviour starts and it made me wonder if she is only usig me to make her feel better? (Bet she felt horrible when I did NC)

But your take is she is using me for attention? (Please note she was not an attention whore during our relationship so this is a new side of her)

[Mgoods]

Yeah, your relationship will take on a diff dynamic because you are not together. Ultimately, I think she is using you. She also knows you can see she is sending pics to other people. That's just disrespectful. I couldn't treat an ex like that. It shows she has no consideration for how you might feel.

[Asker]

Or could this just be the way she uses SnapChat? She had over 14.000 points when I meet her, so I think that is just her and her friends ways of keeping eachother updated on their daily life... (Twitter is not a hit in my country)

She is not a cuel person. At all! She is actually a very kind, warm and caring person.
She just has a stupid habit of not thinking everything through :)

[eaglette]

Never respond to a mass snapchat if it's from someone you're seeing. It's just stroking their ego

[Asker]

Thank you for your input.
Yes that is also my plan from here on: No reply to mass snaps, and give short replies to real snps that is send only to me. (Still nice replies, but no compliments about how great she looks ect)

Good idea?

[eaglette]

Tbh you want her fired up? Just ignore her complete for a while or be really casual and cool. But I'm not sure what you would really be achieving cuz your ex doesn't seem like a very nice person

[Asker]

I am thinking:
Igonre her attentionseeking snaps that she sends to everyone.
Reply nicely to her real snaps when she want to talk (No compliments)

That will show that I am ok with keeping the lines of communication open, but I am not here to give her attention... Good ide?

Yeah I know I didn´t really give you the best impression of her :)
But she actually is a great girl... Maybe this is just how she uses snapchat?

[eaglette]

Ok sorry I passed judgment on her without knowing her.

That said she doesn't sound like she's trying to reel you in again tbh. People mass snap everyone all the time. And if she started mass snapping you too it's probs cuz she figured things have settled down following no contact. She probs has no idea you're still after her.

And again, the only way you're going to pique her interest again is to STOP replying. I mean even to personal snaps. Just 'assume' they were mass snaps. If she wants to talk to you she can personal message you. That's called effort.

[camcam85]

She is certainly seeking attention from you and it is ridiculous. But in saying that, she is also seeking attention from others as well. It sounds like your decision to break up with her was a good one. I myself am attracted to confidence only, the needy shit is just a turn off. I'm sorry to hear that she finds this behavior to be acceptable. I would ignore her and not over think the things she does.

[Asker]

She actually dumped me :)
I dont know how many guys are on her friends list. But in real life she mostly had female friends. Yes she seeks my attention. But perhaps that is because she is now crawing it so much after my No Contact?

Please note: She has never been an attention who in the 8 months we were together... Never... So this is a new sde of her I guess

[camcam85]

Well, if you feel confident in her then you should consider at second shot

[Bonernoodlesoup]

Ok if she's sending them to you directly she's playing hard to get. If it's on her story she ain't want ya dic bruh

[Asker]

Not on her story, but directly. Her points go up by 20 everytime she does it so I know there is 19 other who gets the same message.