Most Helpful Opinions
Mate I've been there and seen this before. I feel for her so much, I was and from time to time can be the same. She doesn't mean to be nasty or short and snappy. Everything hurts, everything's against you, your whole life feels miserable and it's a spiral of negativity. She's on a road of self destruction and unfortunately there's nothing you can do :( you can ride the storm with her but ultimately it's highly likely you will beat each other down so much that if she does come out the other side there will have been so much water under the bridge that there's nothing left to salvage. It's unhealthy to love and obsess at the same time... You will make each other ill. When my partner at the time said to me about us having some space I did the same and interpreted it the wrong way and thought he didn't want me anymore. You clearly are not in a place where you can walk away and leave her to heal alone so all I can say is good luck to you both, stay strong, stay rational and realistic, hold on to the good times and don't drink too much! Remember also thou that you need looking after like she does too. Keep your head above water mate0
it sounds like she needs to get her life in order before she becomes a part of anyone else's. she definitely needs to start seeing a therapist and maybe even get on antidepressant medication. the important thing for you to do is if you love this girl, is to stay strong behind her and help her in whatever way that you can.5
Maybe help her find a good therapist, or cbt counsellor.6
I have been with a girl like this and I would advise taking space from her for now. Their push/pull maneuver is destructive on your feelings and confidence. She obviously needs help and if she isn't willing to get it, she's not worth feeling this way over. It sounds like she is the self-destructive type and those are the ones who end up hurting you most. They react off emotion instead of acting off logic. I came to the point with my ex where I just couldn't take it, it left me mentally impaired for awhile. Maybe it will be different for you but for me, it ended in heartbreak. Best of luck!5
i think despite her hot and cold feelings towards it that you should strongly recommend therapy. she isn't going to resolve these issues, if it is in fact depression, on her own. I sense bi-polar based on what you described of large ups and downs. there is medication and of course therapy that can drastically help but without it it's hard to manage, especially if alcohol or drugs are used as well which often exacerbates depression symptoms
for her sake therapy is her best bet1
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Most Helpful Opinions
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Although your girlfriend and I are two totally different people, it's probably safe to say she's fighting with herself. Meaning self confidence wise, stress, and many other factors that they address in counseling. She has broken up with you and takes it back because she probably feels how she isn't good enough for you. How you deserve better. She probably doesn't smile as much which is leading to self hate, and low self esteem. She may deal with a lot of stress and may have anxiety. This is kind of my situation, as you may remember, I deal with most of this. As days go on, without any help, this condition gets harder to deal with. Depression is a mental disorder that is very hard to get rid of. She does need to seek help, but don't force her to do it. It will only help if she chooses to do so. All you can do is support her, and be by her side. I know this may be a jump from your character, but text or call her everyday asking how she is doing. Have her know that you are there to talk if she ever needs you. I know everyday when I get up, I would just like to know if I broke that someone would be there to fix me. I feel so alone, and nobody should ever feel the same way.
I hope this helps. If you have any other questions in the future you can always message me, I'm always open to give help with depression.