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i totally understand your feeling when u said u even made excuse why he did the thing he did. You must really fall for him. I used to fall for a fuckbuddy and i had the same syndroms like u do, lol. But to be honest that's just one side of a story, girls tend to make excuse for the guy they like or that's how you want things to be. And it's literally not the truth. i struggled with my mind for a while to come to the decision to tell him the truth that i wanted more than just some quickies. After my confession i disappeared and he literally understood that we couldnt go further so he didn't contact neither. You got to love yourself first so if someone treats you bad, you're here to treat yourself better because u deserve better than that. Someone will finally come and you'll get over that lovestruck soon enough :) dear!