Why does my ex act smug and does things to intentionally try to make me jealous?

Ok, so we've been apart for almost 4 months now and the break up was bad! He obviously initiated the break up with me and I resisted. I've been through this on and off thing with him and I am just tired of it. So about 6 wks into the breakup and me doing no contact, he comes and asks if I want to be his friend and I told him no.

Every since then he has been acting smug and tries to make me jealous. I have to see him at least once a wk. because we have a child together. A few wks back he tried to make small talk with me and I answered his questions but let him be.

Today after the exchange he parked his car next to mine so I could see that someone he is either dating or talking to put the letters Happy Birthday on his stairing wheel. When I went to get my son he was looking at me smugly and waiting for me to ask him about this. Why would a guy do this?

He has also done the tactic that when we exchange our son he will intentionally be on the phone and then looking at me with a smile on his face.


Most Helpful Girl

  • He wants you to react, be jealous or whatever. Even though he dumped you, some people still want to see the person is hurt or can't get over them or whatever. It's totally immature and ridiculous and just shows they're insecure. Were you married to this man?

    I have a question for you though... if you have a child with this person, don't you think it would be better for your child for you two remain friends? I have two children with my ex husband. We broke up because it wasn't working, we weren't getting along, seeing that wasn't good for the kids etc so we just always felt that we should be friendly and not create drama or angst for our kids and things.

    I believe your ex is acting this way because you rejected his olive branch of friendship at least, even if your relationship wasn't working and had to end. Hopefully, you will change your mind about maintaining a friendly relationship with him, find a way to forgive him for leaving and/or he will stop acting silly. Good luck!

    • Ideally I would like to have a friendship, but my ex is very abusive and destructive. He has such bad behavior that one time he left me stranded w/o a car for 2 hours at a store. Maybe at some point in the future we can be friends but he has done EVERYTHING to destroy me. Just to give you preview of what he is like... My brother died about 2 months ago and MY ex REFUSED to take me to the bus station to attend his funeral. To this very day he has not given his condolences or even acknowledged this although my brother helped both him and I out countless times

    • Show All
    • It is very sad. And I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope what I've said was helpful, or at least being able to chat about it for a bit with someone on the outside sometimes helps. If you have a good relationship with his mother, cherish and nurture that, will be good for your Son to see that there is still some kind of positive connection from one side of his family to the other :)

    • Thanks for answering my question and following up with me. I also appreciate that you gave me a heads up for his potential behavior down the road. Sadly, I wish he could change, but I know after doing my research that narcissist never change.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's an immature jerk. He's trying to hurt you. Mine did the same thing. I told him no to friends and he tried making me jealous by walking past my job with his new girlfriend. They don't get what they want so they think by trying to hurt us, it will make us change our mind. Stay strong. Who cares what they want. It's over.

    • why would an ex want to be your friend if the dumped you though? I mean what's the point.

    • I don't know. All I do know is exs don't go away. They turn up here and there. It's really annoying when all you want to do is move on.

  • How about keeping your legs together next time and not having kids with such men in future.


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