Husband tried to kill himself after he found out I cheated. help please?

i cheated on my husband only once. and i hated my self for so long. i betrayed him and i betrayed our two children. after i cheated i grew very possesive and jealous of my husband. i kept saying that he was cheating on me and i blamed him for random things. i just felt that because i cheated on him. that he was going to cheat on me. i love my husband with all my heart and soul and will never cheat on him again. he gave me all his love and trust and i threw it all away. a week ago he found out that i cheated because the other guy came to our house and was looking for me. my husband went crazy and beat the other guy to the point blood was all over the place. the the other man left. me and my husband had a fight and i just kept putting the blame on him. he called me a whore. then our kids came out to calm us down. our son is fifteen and our girl is seventeen. my husband just broke down and started crying. i never seen him cry before and it tore me apart knowing i was the one who hurt him. i tried to say that i was sorry but he just went into our room and got his gun. he put it to his head and tried to kill himself. luckily me and our kids were able to get the gun away from him and called the police. now he is on suicide watch. now my kids hate me and my husband just sits there and stares at the wall. he doesn't cry or talk or anything. he shows no emotion. like he is in a coma or something. how do i get him and our kids to love and trust me again? please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let me answer in a way which doesn't assume this post is real.

    This is why cheating is dangerous and why you never, ever confess to it, or cheat with someone who would actually show up at your house, Fatal Attraction-style.

    Cheating is a dealbreaker. Are there couples who get through it? No, I don't think so, not really. Bill and Hillary are still together but theirs is not a true marriage in any sense of which I'm aware. Kids are different and can come to understand, over time, why someone would cheat in a failed/failing marriage.

    If you're real, best advice is to get professional counseling, and to think seriously about exactly why you cheated, and what good it would do to stay married to this man.

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    • The problem wasn't my husband. It was me and yes I want to stay with the man I love. We were going through a hard time and this man told me I should tell him what's wrong. Looking back my husband warned me that this is what men do. The other man listened to my problems and then he took advantage of me. I know its all my fault. I felt stressed and wanted to escape.

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    • @tenchu11 you think so? I'd hate her if I was her kids. She's the reason for their broken family now. And yes, she does deserve to die. Not only did she emotionally hurt her husband forever she also physically hurt him... Same with her kids.
      She doesn't deserve a family. She doesn't deserve life.

    • How exactly did you cheat on him?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Why don't you two and your children, go get some professional help, instead of coming on this site. The emotional trauma that you've both caused your children after this is very selfish also and the least you can do, is get them some help. A lot of places offer low cost or even free counselling, that's something you should really look into.

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    • I've decided to just let them go. my husband finally spoke to me and wanted a divorce so thats what I'm giving him. I just hope that someday my children will forgive me and want me in their lives still. and I really hope that my husband forgives me even if he still hates me.

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    • If he did commit suicide she should be held responsible because it is her fault for betraying him and she should acknowledge and pay for what she did. Look your not a bad person but you should be ashamed and guilty of what you did to that poor guy.
      Even if you divorce, it does not exactly mean that you can't love him. If you really do love him, you would be there for him as a faithful and grateful person and never let him go

    • Although he wanted a Divorce, did you want the divorce and do you still see your lover?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 26

  • Yes... you are a terrible, terrible person. "How do I get him and our kids to love and trust me again?" You don't. They may forgive, but they'll never forget. You can't retake a test you were caught cheating on. It's a 0, end of story.

    s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/.../...794460c87b.gif

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    • I really don't get the whole : ''I cheated on my significant other, but I still love him eventhough I hurt him in a horrible way'' ; w ;

  • I'm gonna be really methodical answering your question and just say that if you're being genuine? This really isn't something you should be asking a bunch of strangers on GaG who have a 2500 character limit to work with. This is a serious interpersonal problem that you need to work out with some kind of professional, NOT a bunch of teenagers and 20 somethings who admittedly, don't have the best perspective on the subject (I certainly know I don't).

    Hopefully you can sort this out either way, though. What you did was unforgivable, but at least you realise it and I hope you and him can get past it.

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  • You knew full well what you were doing. You took the biggest gamble of your life and lost. Lost big time!! I think you have blown it completely. If it were me in his shoes, I'd leave you without a word of explanation, and NO going back, ever. You have also lost the love and respect of your children!!

    I think you deserve everything you get!! What you have done is UNFORGIVEABLE!!

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    • I know. that's why I've decided to let my husband divorce me. I don't deserve a man as good as him. I just hope he can forgive me at some point. even if it means he'll never love me again.

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    • @dogbert444

      Please remember that both sexes cheat in equal proportions.
      Thanks :)

    • I mentioned that above! I asked when girls and guys will learn not to gamble theur future lives!

  • It sounds like he really valued the bond you two had and when you cheated you disrespected that bond in probably the worst possible. I'm really curious why you cheated.

    "how do i get him and our kids to love and trust me again? please help" I would stop blaming him for why you did that and be earnest with him. I hope this doesn't happen to me by someone I extremely care about... I would leave you. I really think you deserve prison time. It's disgusting.

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  • ... Aha... You're 24, and your daughter is 17... Okay. Ya sure why not. And I'm 28 and my son is 32. Because fuck it.

    Some one please report this post.

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    • please everybody stop.. she might've picked wrong age!! mistakes like dat can happen. she never mentioned her age in her post... so please don't judge her beforehand :)

  • this story is false
    the wife never cheats, it's always the husband

    nice try troll 😜

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    • Don't believe this for one second!!

    • I've seen a similar situation among friends, suicide attempt by the husband included. That makes me believe it's possibly true.

    • I meant I don't believe it's always the husband that cheats. 50:50 I reckon!

  • You're 18 to 24, and you have teen kids? Right...

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  • You don't need GaG you need to get professional help for this situation... and fast

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  • short answer: get professional help.

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  • So your cheating ad also getting caught while your with a man who's suicidal

    Hummm

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  • If it was a long time ago why did the guy go looking for you? At your house? Did he know you were married?

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  • You arethe worstwife ever I hope he dumps your sorry ass and gets a worthwhile woman

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  • Sounds like you messed up your life. Guess what? It's your fault. It's all your fault. Now you have to deal with the consequences. However, I applaud you for almost making someone suicide.

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  • this is why i don't ever want to get married.

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    • By logic no one can still be 18-24 years old and have 2 teenagers.

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    • I'm 37. Of coarse I'm using a fake profile. Enough people are shaming me as is. And I know I deserve all of it but it still hurts.

    • Nope, it's not modern times but some crappy people who don't deserve to even be in a relationship, much less married.

  • That's really bad !!!
    All I can say is that just love them all it will take time but they will start trust in you again by the way what have you done?

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    • For the past week I've spent all my time sitting next to my husband. I keep telling him that I'm sorry and how much I love him and want him and that the other guy meant nothing and that it was only one time. He hasn't said a word. Our kids are staying at his parents for now and come to visit him after school. Except his mom and dad make me leave the room when they come to visit him. I have no idea what I'm going to do.

    • Don't worry just try to convince them... love them and never do this again😊
      Wishes for your future 😊

    • Um no. "This was a only one time thing"... WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU GET WORSE AND WORSE THE MORE I READ WHAT YOU SAY!

  • You got married way too young but now that that is done, you all need serious professional therapy nothing a site like this will solve. good luck to you all

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  • you don't, you fucked up

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  • Guess you shouldn't have had an affair lol.

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  • cheating is normal.

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    • Normal but wrong and not ok at all.
      Cheating should never happen, its always the spouses choice to make it happen because they are unfaithful.

  • You do not "love" someone if you cheat on them... First off, you need to acknowledge you are now scum... Worse than garbage.

    Secondly you are even worse then scum for blaming him for your actions...

    Thirdly, quit making fucking excuses. It's pathetic. You're pathetic... Accept it.

    Offer him the option of Anullment or Devorce AND YOU WILL NOT TAKE A SINGLE DOLLAR OF HIS.

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  • lol stupid bitch. let him have one cheat day to even things out. then get a divorce, cuz i don't think he could ever forgive u for cheating on him.

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  • first of all everybody STOP about this age thing. she might've chosen WRONG age here! it can happen! she didn't mention about her real age in this question after all. and stop mentionin she's trollin, since u've got NO evidence about it. her situation might be real... show some empathy please ;)

    anyway... about yer question.
    first of all i'm glad u realise u were wrong. after all everybody deserves a 2nd chance to make-up for his mistakes.

    "after i cheated i grew very possesive and jealous of my husband. i kept saying that he was cheating on me and i blamed him for random things. i just felt that because i cheated on him. that he was going to cheat on me"

    ^cannot blame u... many people would be afraid dat their husband/wife will "return da favor" after they cheated on him/her.

    "a week ago he found out that i cheated because the other guy came to our house and was looking for me. my husband went crazy and beat the other guy to the point blood was all over the place. the the other man left."

    ^i'm so sorry about wot happened... i can understand he felt outraged after he found out he's been cheated... but this was too much :/

    "i tried to say that i was sorry but he just went into our room and got his gun. he put it to his head and tried to kill himself. luckily me and our kids were able to get the gun away from him and called the police. now he is on suicide watch"

    ^as i said above he was feelin really out of control... people can react like this when they r out-of-control... it's so sad indeed if it happens.

    "now my kids hate me and my husband just sits there and stares at the wall. he doesn't cry or talk or anything. he shows no emotion. like he is in a coma or something. how do i get him and our kids to love and trust me again? please help."

    ^hope after some time has passed... maybe u'll get back together again wid him and yer kids. but it needs lots of time to make this possible. at least i'm glad he's saved from possible suicide. wot can u do now's be there for yer kids... and try to convince 'em u'll never do da same mistake again and be always there for 'em!

    wish i could help u further... :(

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    • thanks for the advice, really. and thanks for not thinking I'm a troll or whatever. I'm 37. I made a fake profile because I didn't want people I know to read this if they're on this site. But I've decided to let my husband to get a divorce. I'm going to take our kids to a family therapist so I can at least try to save my relationship with my children. My husband deserves a lot better than me and would be happier if he found someone else. even if it hurts to seem him with another woman. I know he will never love me again but I hope he'll forgive me one day at least.

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    • nice to know :)

      hope i was helpful :)

    • That's what you should have been doing before hand... Idiot...

  • Irresponsible husband to get a gun and mimicking a suicide attempt in front of the children.
    Tell him to be a man and face your imperfection.

    Jealousy is plain murder on a relationship.

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    • How old were you when your children were born?

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    • Saying something like that is making things much more worst by feeding onto his depression.
      Sometimes people commit suicide relating to this situation like it or not. It's not his fault for being that way. Whatever you're saying is not helping.

    • The husband of one of our female friends too faked a suicide attempt in front of their children. (9 and 12)
      He had reasons to be jealous. It ended with a divorce.

  • So are you saying that girls cheat too?

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  • I recently went through this myself. Firstly, know that your children still love you, they're just going through some serious stuff right now. Give them the time they need to process and deal with it in whatever way they may need.

    When it comes to your husband, well, I'd say keeping your distance from him is the best course of action for the immediate future, seeing you may not be helpful. Understand that you are not responsible for his actions, and that he needs psychiatric help. However, he has to choose to get that help himself.

    I know that for a while, you and your family's lives are going to be tumultuous, hang in there. You have my sympathies.

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    • Sympathies for being unfaithful? WTF?

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    • @dogbert444, I don't feel the need to place judgement on a person I don't know, nor form opinions on circumstances I don't know about. All I see is someone who needs some kind words and helpful advice, which I'm more than happy to provide.

      @Asker I understand you're feeling guilty, but you and your family have my sympathies regardless. I know all too well how destructive a divorce and suicide attempts can be. So you all will be in my thoughts. It's probably for the best you and your husband divorce, I just hope you both end up in a better place once this ugliness has passed.

    • thank you.

  • I can't believe what I just read. You cheated on him then red to put the blame on him? This is the shittiest thing I've ever read in my life. You are a bitch. Damn. The answer is you can't. No one would ever trust someone after that. Don't even try. Leave. Damn that's just bitchy

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What Girls Said 6

  • Um. Your profile says 18-24 yet supposedly you have 2 teenage kids. I call troll.
    If not - you need major marriage counseling, not GAG.

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    • Anyone could put a false age

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    • that's alright, I get it. your right though. we do need counseling. just not marriage. but for our kids.

    • Yes - get them counseling. Parents' relationship can have a profound effect on kids' later on (God forbid).

  • End your marriage.

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  • Your son is 15 and your daughter is 17 but yet you're between the ages of 18-24? Ummm

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  • You destroyed a man...

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  • Maybe because you are a whore. Did you even apologize? Why did you cheat on him again? And why did you mentally abuse him and not even apologize? You did not even show that you are sorry
    Clearly you do not care about him

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    • To all the men on this website, I would like to apologize for doubting that cheating women were the reason why marriage ended in divorce. And I hope that women like this do not keep you men from finding a good woman who has a good heart

  • Your children are 15 & 17 when did you start 6-7 years old?

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    • I'm 37. I made a fake profile just in case someone I know reads from this site. I know I deserve all of the shame in the world but it would hurt a lot more If my friends and family found out what happened.

    • Yes and you deserve all the shame in the world. Your anon changing age won't make no diff. Worst part is most of them probably already know.

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