I still love my ex. 6 years on- and no one compares!!!

[Anonymous]

I want my ex back.

He has a girlfriend. Not a perfect relationship. But he seems committed to her.

I was his first true love and he was mine. Before his new girlfriend we would still meet once a year (we live in different countries) and have sex. Always!

Of course - he still finds me sexually attractive, contacts me regularly and will always have feelings for me.

Does he love his girlfriend more than me? Would he leave her for me? We have history. What have they got?

[jeeperss]

they've got history in the making.

first true love is great. but it doesn't mean that what he has with her isn't special either.

and finding you sexually attractive is not something to brag about. he obviously finds her sexually attractive too, for one. and for another, it's about feelings and happiness. otherwise it's just meaningless sex.

of course he will always have feelings for you. you were each others' first. but it doesn't mean that these feelings >>>> his feelings for her.

how they heck could anybody on this site know if he loves her more than you and would leave her for you?

you've given only your side of the story, and it's not very full to begin with. we know nothing about him, about her, or their relationship.

as a matter of fact, we know nothing about your ex relationship with him. obviously there is a reason it's an ex.

the anon below is right: "im just letting you know that if you didn't contact each other regularly and he didn't have a girlfriend you wouldn't want him back as much. by talking to him, it reminds you of every memory and what you are missing. and when guys have other girls, it makes us girls want them 10x more."

not only that, but you mentioned living in different countries. how is that gonna work if you see each other once a year? why would he leave a local relationship for something that didn't work out before, esp. when they seem happy?

you said it wasn't a perfect relationship bw the two of them.

no relationship is ever perfect, and if either person seems to think so, they are severely deluded and heading for a fall. or they've been together for a few months and think that's how it's always going to stay, which is silly and naive.

but enough about that.

overall, I can understand how you feel. I've never been in that situation but if I had I guarantee I would be crazy jealous, comparing everything, and wanting him to love me more. I would feel the same way, I'm sure.

so if you think this isn't just jealousy that he's got someone, and if you think you've got a valid point (aside from the dumb things you listed as reasons), then tell him. tell him how you feel, give him a time limit to think it over (i.e. a week) instead of expecting an ultimatum answer right away, and discuss the pros and cons of having such a relationship (i.e. the distance, history, etc.). DON'T cheat on his girlfriend with him. just. don't. it is not fair to her, and while you may not have any sympathy for her as she is the opponent here, it is a very low and disgusting thing to do.

if he chooses you, then he obviously wants you back and the feelings are mutual. if he doesn't, finally let go of this, erase him from your life completely (it will help if you sever connection at least for a couple of years), and move on for real. stop comparing. never compare old relationships to new. it's a recipe for disaster.

no one is comparable because we're none of us the same.

sorry for the essay.

[Asker]

Tks 4 the essay! we never really broke up- just moved away from each other. I know he loves her but he admitted that if he wasn't seeing her in the future that he could defo see a potential future for us. he also admitted that our relationship was wilder and more intense than theirs. she is very difficult to please. I think if we could spend more time together, we'd be together for sure. does that mean he loves his girlfriend truly. he doesn't tell his girlfriend about the time he spends with me....

[jeeperss]

I am not sure. the fact that he is saying these things behind her back and hides seeing you could mean

a) he's having difficulties and needs someone to talk to but is not serious about leaving her

b) he is only with her because she's local, which is a very bad reason

c) he cannot make up his mind and this might lead to him making decisions that could turn him into sorry for the word but a douchebag --> aka cheating on her with you. please don't let that happen. that is fair to no one and is low

[Anonymous]

im just letting you know that if you didn't contact each other regularly and he didn't have a girlfriend you wouldn't want him back as much.

by talking to him, it reminds you of every memory and what you are missing.

and when guys have other girls, it makes us girls want them 10x more.

and when you said no one else compares, that's not true. there are plenty of other guys out there, you're just not letting yourself get to know them and you're telling yourself that no one else compares. stop doing that. becuase by you doing that, you really aren't going to get over him.

he has a new girl. get over it. if he wants to be with you, then he will break up with her and come to you. move on. and if he comes back then its meant to be.

you can do it girl. just tell yourself you can (: go out and meet new guys and tell yourself there are guys out there just like him!

[Asker]

Why do you think he contacts me? Just a casual Facebook message...or a text. He usually always initiates it. How can I tell if he's happy in his current relationship?

[Opinion Owner]

Theres either two reasons why he does it. one is because he wants you to miss him and he knows by contacting you, it will bug you and make you miss him. or two, that he really does miss you and wants to show you he still cares even if he has a new girl.

and you can tell by the way they are together (if you see them) if his Facebook status is about her. if he says he loves her and if he's with her alot. you don't really know if he truly happy because he could be lieing, but those are some hints