Should I show up unannounced to my boyfriend's house who has ignored me for a week to get my things?

[Anonymous]

He has ignored me for a week now. I've called and texted, but get nothing. The last we spoke it wasn't even so bad. I was annoyed and texted him I don't expect him to come over to my house late Sunday night even though I wanted him too because I haven't seen him all month. I think he could tell I was mad. Then he just responded rudely "you're right then, well goodnight".
The texts I sent since we're just stating "hope you're ok, how's your day, I just want to talk", nothing confrontational. I assume we are done now and while I still care for him, I know it's for the better because I can't be with someone who treats me like this.
Anyway I let him borrow some things of sentimental value and want them back. Since he won't answer or respond, I was thinking up showing up unannounced. I'm fine and accept the breakup just want my stuff back

[dartmaul15]

Why were you annoyed when you told him you didn't expect hom to come over on sunday? Yes, this matters

[Asker]

Because I had texted him Saturday evening and Sunday morning to hang out. That way he has lots of time to respond. But finally he texted back late Sunday night. I have work then next morning so I said "it's too late to hang out now". All he responded was "I guess so..." Then after that's when I sent the other text about not expecting him to come over.

[dartmaul15]

And then you both overreacted, and things escalated into this. Well done, i am truly impressed.

Okay, sarcasm off. You dun fucked up. Give him time, and if he gets back then so be it. If not, so be it too. But if he comes back, be ready to take the blame. Is it yours to take fully? Well, at least a part of it is on you. And i think it's time you too do what guys do, and take blame that may no be necesary.
Yeah, guys do that a lot. Simply because they're not interrested in arguing. Think of it as a "okay, you've made your point, i'm not interrested in arguing because it makes you furious, so i'll just say sorry".
It's your turn to pull that one.

[Asker]

Ok it's not like it has been rainbows and butterfly's before this. Throughout our relationship he has never put me as a priority, Goes days without texting me then comes back as if I just saw him, is not bothered if we don't see each other for a month. We have lunch dates but that's only because I initiate it and I pay. I've brought it up that he needs to put more effort and that I'm not so happy and all he's says is that he understands where I'm coming from and he thinks everything is great. I give him space, I've gotten him gifts for his bday and Christina's. I don't constantly nag him, just once in a while. I understand that I might have to take the blame, but I also think that if I let him treat my like this he'll think it's ok and just make a crappy relationship even worse.

[dartmaul15]

hmm, i see where you're comming from. Could be it's indeed time to call it quits?

I mean, it takes two to tango after all. So even fi you try to make things work, it won't help if he's not trying

Honestly? do what you feel is right.

[Asker]

Well I already consider myself single again. I don't need or want him anymore. It's just he has some things that i got from trips with family. I never gave, it just left them there thinking I can get them back later. After the way I've been treated I really don't want him to have them. obviously if I send a message saying I want them back he's not going to respond so I'm not sure if I should just show up to his house..

[dartmaul15]

Unless you told them they're his, you're free to come fetch them. And if he refuse to hand them over, they're per definition stolen.

So just knoocking on his door could work indeed.

[Asker]

Yeah I think I will within the next week. Not gonna lie I am pretty scared and nervous, so just wanted to get opinions on what people think about that and if it's reasonable for me to do that?

[dartmaul15]

meh, just give him an SMS or FB message beforehand. Just to be sure

[Asker]

Lol I would but I'm kinda thinking if I give him a heads up he won't answer the door or tell his family not to answer the door for me.

[Asker]

I mean if he is cowardly enough to dissappear on me after 9 months, then I can now see him doing this. He is definitely not who I thought he was

[dartmaul15]

then call his family and tell them what happened. Specifically call his mother.

I doubht she'll let him just worm his way out of this one XD

[Asker]

Well I don't agree with that. I think the mother will alWays side with the son when it comes to girls no matter if he was wrong or not. He lives with his siblings who are around his age. They liked me and always greeted me at the door, but I don't know

[dartmaul15]

eeeh, i would kinda expect her to make sure he fucking behaves. It's what parents do when their son is dating XD

But up to you how you'd solve it