Is it immature to ignore an ex?

[Anonymous]

My ex texted me yesterday telling me about a party at our friends house (which I already knew about & I'm sure he knew that I did too) then later after I didn't respond texted me "how are you"

We broke up last Sunday. I didn't go to the party & haven't responded but now I feel rude & immature.. I don't want to get into anything with him (he broke it off) but I do love him (always will, known him forever) so I was thinking of responding as "I'm sorry, I just can't"

Not sure what to do

[CosmicallyCombined]

No, it is not immature to ignore an ex. In fact, the best, quickest way for you to move forward and let your heart heal is to ignore an ex which is why you should block him from everywhere he can contact you after the break-up. Why lie to yourself about being able to be friends with someone who dumped you? You know you can't do that. It's very tactless for an ex to even attempt that because that's basically demoting you to a lesser position with less privileges from his life that you previously had. Who wants to be in that crappy position?

Just be honest with yourself about the fact that speaking with him, interacting with him, and seeing him is going to sting. You don't owe him a friendship. Block him from any place he can reach you so that you can focus on letting your heart heal and moving forward with your life.

[CosmicallyCombined]

Thanks for mho :)

[pooper89]

There is no reason for you to respond. He broke up with you. He made it clear he wants nothing to do with you anymore. He broke your heart. You owe him nothing. And now he's trying to reopen that wound. If anything you should respond and tell him to go fuck himself.

[lumos]

Not at all. I think he's the immature one for wanting to text you like this when he's the one who broke up with you and should be leaving you alone. Keep ignoring him or just tell him you don't want him to message you anymore.

[Realistic07]

This is a good question one which there are at least a few different answers to. If you don't mind my asking why did he break it off with you?

[Asker]

Didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. We dated 4 years ago too, same thing happens every time - we're happy & in-love and then all of a sudden he's miserable / sabotages the relationship. I know his ex's same thing, clearly he has some issues to work out.

[Realistic07]

It's funny how things work like that we know that people have issues an know what they are going to do and when they do it to us we are surprised and upset that they did what they always do. I say talk to him because I'm sure that's what needs to be done tell him what you told me in a calm tone because it is important that he recognises his issues an tell him how he made you feel and where you would like to go from there.

[Asker]

Eh, I don't think he wants to talk like that - seems too soon. Again maybe he wanted to see if I was okay in-case he saw me at the party. Still haven't responded but feeling like I want to be good with him but not friends if that makes sense?

Not really sure what to say? Should I bother playing the game or just politely ask for space?

[Realistic07]

Well here is a question what type of relationship do you want with him. Stranger, acquaintance, friend, friends with benefits, in a relationship again? Pick and I'll give you the answer that gets you that but untill you decide what you want to be and what you want him to be to you then an answer is hard to give. So what do you want to happen?

[Asker]

Sure I would want him back but not now, it's too soon & he may never be ready for a serious relationship. That's not what I need to focus on. I decided to answer him cause I felt rude but I left it close ended so there's no games being played. I said "hey sorry, I've been good thanks - hope all is well with you too" *said sorry for the day late response

Never heard back but I feel better I didn't just ignore him. Maybe down the road we will cross paths but at least it doesn't feel like there's any bad blood

[Realistic07]

maybe but you made a choice an where responsible in midigating the dicitons that's all I really was trying to get you to do which in the end is the best way to go. You made a voice you where satisfied with and understood the reasoning behind it that's all that can be excepted for now. Good job.

[cooldude25]

Not at all.. once the relationship is over, I never contact them again.

[Anilkumar3277]

Thats a good think friend

[ShaunaM95]

If you're still hurting then there's nothing wrong with you not replying. Take some time out for yourself, away from him and I'm sure after a while you can think about maybe being friends with him.

[Asker]

I'm okay, I think he was just trying to see if I was okay if he saw me at the party. He's not one for talking & feelings (that will be in about 2 months) so I just thought it would be mature to at least respond but let him know I don't want to get into it.

[AnayaWilliams]

Its not immature at all. Its a good way of trying to move on. An ex is an ex you are not supposed to stay in contact with them after you break up.

[Cmasterson]

It's not immature, they're an ex no need to stay in contact.

[Anonymous]

No. Once I break up, I never ever have contact with them ever again

[Anonymous]

no. block him