My mistress wants to tell my wife about our affair?

[Anonymous]

I'm married with no kids, and due to work schedules, my wife started losing interest in sex. I tried to flirt with her and take her out, but she is losing interest.

I met another single woman, who I've been sleeping with for the last week. We have sex after work, and kiss/watch netflix/go to dinner.

My mistress wants to tell my wife about our affair. And she said that I either leave my wife or she will tell my wife. How do i stop her?

[Deepblue11]

Yikes! Im not going to judge you for this because I'm sure you know this is all extremely wrong but her ultimatum is her way of controlling this situation and getting you to pick her. She should know that the outcome of an affair with a married man rarely ends well, if I were you I would tell her that even if she broke up your marriage, it wouldn't make you want something serious with her if anything at all. And to be honest most women don't take this route a week into an affair. You need to get rid of this woman and decide what you want to do with your marriage, you owe your wife at least that.
Does she know your wife? How would she go about getting in touch with her?

[Ziaegh]

why are you here telling us about you being unfaithful? are you looking for sympathy? I dont know what you're expecting people to say to you. You cheated while being married because you lack communication and now its your time to face up to what you did. Obviously a marriage needs physical love but you should have just left her instead of being unfaithful and humiliating her. you can't just "meet another woman" when you're married. smh. And the obvious answer is you tell her yourself. its the least you can do. Silver lining is at least you won't come out of the marriage alone. you'll have your "mistress" .

[kaylaS91]

Don't stop her. There's no reason as to why your wife doesn't deserve to figure out that your lack of self-restraint led to your sticking your dick in crazy, setting a horrible example for your children at the same time.

You obviously don't care about your wife but at the very least, spare your children from having you remain as their father-figure.

[Asker]

I have no children

[HaniP]

No children? Yes you do; yourself. Your response to a lack of interest in sex is as immature a response as you can get. "Poor me. My wife won't play with me". Well at least she won't be losing a man if she finds out. Pathetic!

[kat_gran]

:) :) :) for you!

www.google.com/search

I hope you have a misery of a life!

[Proof_Striker55]

You are in danger. Why didn't you talk with her before? İf your mistress like this type of person you shouldn't have hang out with her before. You did wrong man. I don't know what can you do? You should explain your mistress on what you want and what you don't want. You should be clear. Be careful.

[MadeInAmerica]

memecrunch.com/meme/O5T/you-fucked-up/image.png

You should just tell your wife you cheated.

[Rocket_Queen]

Well you could kill her... but that might get messy for everyone... so...

Ya don't. This is the obvious thing that will happen with an affair. Best to tell your wife before she does. Either way ya lose. She tells her or you tell her. At least accept responsibility and go about as honest at possible at this point.

[Sara413]

You made your bed so now it's time to lie in it. There's nothing you can do except tell her yourself.

[Daniel961]

You can't. Divorce your wife. You obviously don't care about her enough since you turned to another woman. You didn't try hard enough to solve the issue at hand and she didn't put effort either. All of that shows you're not compatible/ meant for each other.

[666threesixes666]

Ladies how is he a piece of shit? SHE lost interest, SHE doesn't care about flirting, or dates. By my count it's the wife that's a piece of shit. Neglect is abuse.

Tell her the wife's already checked out, the truth.

[MrAtticusLebowski]

It's rough, being in a sexless marriage that young.

[Sasha07]

Cause people don't like cheaters.

[LaVilaine]

Because instead of breaking off the marriage, he chose to cheat like a coward.

[Asker]

@LaVilaine I'm not a coward to approach the other woman 😉. But, what can I do to avoid hurting my wife?

[ModernDayCrusader]

Cyanide... JK lol!

Tell your mistress, that it would ruin your life, if told your wife, and that you are waiting for the right time to break the news to her.

Say, you want to make sure you are legally secure before asking for a divorce.

Now, you can slowly start separating yourself from this mistress.

[This_is_my_username]

LOL. I hope she does. No woman deserves a back-stabbing cheating man like you. I hope she finds out and does better. Shame on you for not having more self-restraint -.-

[Asker]

Does she have to?

[This_is_my_username]

is this a legit Q? did you have to cheat? 0. o

[Intraluminal]

You can't. If you're not happy with your wife then leave her while there are no kids involved.

[madhatters4]

just try to appeal to sensibilities beg her not to potentially ruin your marriage

but the simple fact is you deserve what you get. you did the crime so now you may have to do the time. sorry not sorry man

[Anonymous]

Hm well tell your wife... but i highly doubt she will if she tells I'm sure you won't want to be with her anymore and if she likes you then she's probably threating you so you can do it instead of her. But who knows she may be serious and tell. Hard decision but something has to be done.

[emiliawhyte]

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[WillowTree]

Just a week? Tell your wife and suffer the consequences or tell your wife about this crazy ass stalker that won't leave you alone and have a good laugh.

[AzureGirl]

By telling her yourself obviously.

[Asker]

That will result in divorce!

[AzureGirl]

Should have thought about that before cheating

[Anonymous]

Tell her (at least partly) and accept to leave her. Or leave your mistress (would be a good idea anyway because she tries to blackmail you).
I have helped many with relationship problems and this way turned out best. This way you can at least control somehow what your wife and the public will know about what you did and it's better to tell yourself than letting outers find out.

[Shigeno]

You should have divorced your wife before sticking your dick in another.
You can't have a cake and eat it.

[Asker]

You're supposed to eat a cake if given to you

[Shigeno]

You're an idiot.

[brain5000]

Tell her if she does, you'll never speak to her again. It is an act of betrayal and you refuse to allow her to benefit from it. Say it and mean it, and if she tells, follow through with the threat.

[Aetumn]

That's... not going to keep the truth from coming out, if she means to.

[brain5000]

@Aetumn I scrolled through the comments. Did I miss your suggestion? Nothing is guaranteed to work, but if the mistress' goal is to win the guy, betrayal can't be allowed to work.

IMHO just threatening to do this is already "grounds for divorce" and OP should dump his mistress immediately, then weigh the option of discussing it with his wife. "I would never have done it if you were giving me the attention I need."

[Aetumn]

OP shouldn't be having a mistress in the first place, objectively. The main problem with a mistress is that she'll a lot less likely to be receptive to 'divorce issues' than the wife. She may want OP to tell the truth for principle alone. Or for revenge on the fact she can't have him for herself ("if I can't, no one will"). Not smart, but then again being a mistress doesn't only have good sides.

And we all know she and her cheating lover could have made better choices in life -.-

[brain5000]

@Aetumn You're right, instead of a mistress he should have a wife who is willing to give him minimal sex every so often. At this point, OP should not have any concern for the feelings or motives of the mistress; she has threatened him, and so he needs to run. Get as far away from her as he can, because she has proven herself a threat.

[Aetumn]

This isn't the attitude that's going to help him on the long run. Men are not owed sex, just as men aren't (or women with a proper sex drive would be hell on exhausted men). If he hasn't been having enough sex with his wife, he should have discussed it seriously with her, maybe seen a professional (a sexologist, or maybe even a couple therapist), to find something that worked out for both.
But with dishonesty, this is the price he pays. Sure, he needs to get away from her. He also should pick his lovers better, possibly not have any? It might solve the problem this once, but on the long run? I don't think so.

[Aetumn]

Edit: just as women aren't*

[brain5000]

@Aetumn Let's hope he has been burned and has learned his lesson. If so, maybe his marriage can be saved? It looks like he and his mistress have played a little game of "Mr. and Mrs. Poor Impulse Control." It's dangerous and stupid, but lots of people do dangerous and stupid things, and learn not to do them once they realize. I don't think this necessarily has to cost him his marriage, and I hope there is a way out without hurting his wife. What's wrong with him getting burned, learning his lesson and being a better husband as a result?

As for the "counseling and therapy" option, it looks as though the wife's work schedule is the thing killing their marriage. Sometimes one needs to decide whether the career is worth it. Maybe it is; if so, make an arrangement for an open marriage, or split.

The one thing I differ with you on strongly is the assertion that neither partner in the marriage owes the other sex. I agree honesty should be expected, but in marriage, so should sex...

[brain5000]

… Perhaps not every time one partner wants it, or not with the frequency desired, but a reasonable amount of sex in a marriage to be determined between the couple is fair to expect. I don’t think it is reasonable to expect one partner to simply decide they are through with sex, and for the other to simply accept it.

[Aetumn]

No, we both agree; it should be a common agreement. I'm just underlining the fact they may have not discussed anything together, which has resulted in a less than optimal amount of sex.

[brain5000]

@Aetumn He wrote that he has flirted with her and taken her out, but she's not interested in sex. He doesn't say anything about asking her what's up with her sex drive; that conversation needs to happen.

If the wife has time to be taken out and flirted with, but isn't interested in sex, perhaps _she_ might be also having an affair? Got to give her the benefit of the doubt. It might also be that OP is just saying stuff and the wife is forthcoming, he just wants to cheat. His recklessness and daring was probably something his wife was attracted to at one time...

[Aetumn]

The wife having an affair would only work if she wasn't interested in OP anymore. At this point there's a real need for them to talk.
In the end the lack of communication to me is the only real issue here. The rest are just nasty consequences.

[LaVilaine]

Tell your wife about the affair. She told you exactly what to do.

[Asker]

Do I have to?

[LaVilaine]

It's the only way out of this. Either you tell her or your whore does.

[SarahsSummer]

After 1 week she wants to be your new mate? Drop the crazy chick, confess to your wife and try to work out the problems in therapy.

[Vesuvius87]

Let her tell your wife so she can know what a cheating, bastard you are. In fact your wife is very lucky that she's not have any kids with you.

[orphan]

i find it funny why people bother explaining why they cheat or having affairs.

[matheus_mb]

There's nothing you can do now. If you end your affair she'll say it anyway.

[Entruder]

The only person you fucked was yourself. There's only one way this will turn out now.

[Anonymous]

Tell her go ahead because you don't want to be with your wife anymore. Then tell your wife this women is obsessed with you and trying to break your marriage up. Now if she has pictures with you, you're screwed.

[Anonymous]

You're young and kids aren't involved yet. I would just let her tell your wife and then Divorce her.

[Sasha07]

Lmao, you're either a brainless idiot or a troll.
Or both.

[Anonymous]

You cheated on your wife, you're not the victim here.
Step up and do the right thing, which is telling your wife you broke her trust and accepting whatever consequences come your way.

[Anonymous]

Iol that's what you get for being selfish and stupid

[BuchitaBuchys]

I really hope she tells your wife lol

[brain5000]

"lol?"

[BuchitaBuchys]

@brain5000 yes so his marriage can end

[mutedaisy]

You probably can't stop her...

[Asker]

Why?

[CrazynKinky]

You tell your wife and stop having a mistress

[teawrecks]

Dude don't stick your dick in crazy.

[DearLife]

How bout don't cheat on your wife.

[teawrecks]

@DearLife cheaters gonna cheat. He's an idiot for not paying attention who he sticks it in

[SwissMade]

Should have kept your d*ck in your pants.

[Madi_95]

either way your wife will find out at some point!

[Anonymous]

you deserve it... and i hope she tells your wife

[PersianPrincessss]

You done fucked up now

[Anonymous]

Lol, you're fucked.

[Proof_Striker55]

hahahaha. I laughed your comment so much :D