I had been dating my boyfriend for a couple of months and we were really happy together. He showed genuine signs of commitment, introducing me to all of his friends, making plans with me, making his mum change her plans so he could see me for my birthday etc. Everything was going well and we were really happy with no arguments.
Before we started our relationship, we were both aware he was leaving for a year abroad in eight months. I said I was okay with just seeing how our relationship went, even if we probably have to break up then. He said initially he didn't know whether he could do it knowing it has to end, took some time off to think, but then came back and said he liked me too much to be rational.
So for two months we were happy. He gets an email reminding him that he is leaving, and suddenly instantly goes quiet. I called him that evening to see if he was okay, and he just kept saying how he feels awful that he is leaving (in seven months, mind you) and it looms over him every time we are so happy together. He was crying/very emotional so I suggested to meet up the next day to talk about it. We did, and he broke up with me because he said he just feels too shit even though I tried to be rational with him that it was seven months away and it was too soon to have this conversation. He literally went from one day commitment, planning for my birthday, to this.
I am obviously very upset. I told him I don't stick around after break ups. It's been a few days and I haven't spoken to him. I made the mistake of sending him a snap of me with a guy friend and he deleted me off snapchat after that. But the next day, at 3am when he was supposed to be out drinking with friends, he started liking my photos with my friends randomly.
I really don't know what happened. I didn't think we had to break up. What was he thinking, if we were so happy together and him leaving was so far away?
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds like he really would like to be with you, but taking the chance that it gets much deeper before he leaves is too much. As much as it might hurt, he is doing the sensible thing. A year away can change so much and then you feel worse. Respect his wishes and if you can, tell him you are good with being friends. I don't think he will, but it hurts nothing to ask. If it would be too hard for you to be friends, don't do it. Life takes many turns and when he gets back he may get back in touch. I did that when I was much younger. I really liked the girl, so much that I thought about her all the time I was away. It worked out that she wasn't with anybody when I got back and we started again. The funny thing is that to much had gone on in our lives while I was over seas and we mutually broke it off. Another thing that might work for now is if you tell him you can wait for him to come back if things continue being good over the next 7 months. Really think that out before you tell him that. My gut tells me that whatever you do, he will probably not want to continue. You must respect his decision and let it go if he still says no. Think it through before you say anything to him. This isn't just a little thing. There are things you need to ask yourself before you do anything. I wish you the best regardless of what you do.0
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Most Helpful Girl
I've been through a really similar experience to yours - this time last year I became close to a guy I had met recently but after about a month of dating he decided that he was going to buy a one way ticket overseas because he needed a change of scenery. We both really liked each other, but he refused to make me his official girlfriend or define the relationship because he thought it would be too hard to end things when he left (in about 6 months time). We kept the 'relationship ' going for a couple more months, but we ended up having to break things off because we knew that it would be too hard to leave each other, and he couldn't guarantee that he was going to come back.
I think that your boyfriend's excuse was somewhat legitimate, but I don't think that he broke up with you due to a lack of affection. In my opinion, he feels very strongly about you, and probably ended it as quickly as possible to avoid forming the attachment that would come with a few more months of spending time together. Leaving after becoming more attached to you would break his, and your heart, and it seems like he was trying to protect the both of you by ending the relationship so quickly.
Keep your chin up, I know how hard this is to go through! Remember that if you two are meant to be, you will find each other again in time 😊0