Why did my ex delete his FB?

[Anonymous]

After NC, I sent him a touching message on FB apologizing for my actions. Then, he deactivated his account completely. Why didn't he block me?

I have never stalked him or tried to get in contact with him through his number/Skype because I thought it'd make him feel uncomfortable. If he told me he never wanted to speak to me ever again or block me, I will respect his wishes and never contact him again.

I dumped him by the way.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. You dumped him and then you apologized. You can't take back the things that you said when you dumped him and he feels hurt.

2. Deleting his FB account was a dramatic thing to do and it got your attention, didn't it? That's the point. He sent a message that says you hurt him so much that he is resorting to drastic action to make sure he doesn't hear from you again.

[Asker]

I have apologized and explained all my actions. I have no idea why he didn't block me. Or told me to stop messaging and block me completely. A block will get the message across. But he didn't delete our life event or photos. It's so strange and confusing. If I was in his position, and I hated my ex's guts, I would tell them to fuck off and block them.

[OlderAndWiser]

Well, you are not him. The fact that you would feel a certain way in that position does not mean that he should feel that same way.

He is responding emotionally, not rationally. You cannot understand emotional behavior in the same way that you understand rational behavior.

Regardless, it is over. Why do you care now about how he is feeling?

[Asker]

I was hoping I'd have a chance with him or being his friend again. I wanted to apologize to him for my actions. I have also told him if he never wanted to speak to me again, I would respect his wish. I have never bothered him after we broke up, stalked him, contacted his family/friends, texted/called him or try to get in contact with him through Skype. So he would know I'm not the spamming, annoying ex girlfriend.

[CarlitoBrigante]

I agree with most of this, except the fact that he doesn't want to hear from her. If he cared enough to try and get her attention, he still cares. It's like when someone says they hate you, it means there is still feeling there. Indifference is the thing to be concerned about, not statements that someone "hates" you.

[CarlitoBrigante]

My ex also had photos of us on public, till she deleted her account in the last few days. I don't think that someone who had no feelings for you leaves those memories up.

[alecxryan]

He's just upset.. don't worry he just needs to think and time heals all.

[Asker]

If he hates me, he would have blocked me, right? Or told me to stop and blocked me?

[alecxryan]

Yes. So I think he's not really mad, just sad. Maybe he still has feelings for you so it's hard and when he saw your message it made it harder

[Asker]

What would you do if an ex you hated messaged you? Would you block her completely if you never wanted to hear from her again?

[alecxryan]

I'd block her

[alecxryan]

I wouldn't delete my Facebook just because my ex messaged me

[Asker]

So if you deactivated your FB, it's because you feel really emotional, need time to think, unsure of what to do? And not because you never want to speak to her again?

[alecxryan]

Yes, definitely. If I were mad, deleting my FB would just an ouch on my pride, if anything. So he probably was missing you then saw that message

[CarlitoBrigante]

I agree, blocking you would have been the logical move. Deleting an account that has friends and family on it just to avoid you makes no sense and guys are logical, not emotional decision makers. Although, this would make little sense for anyone to do, male or female.

[ShaunaM95]

Maybe he just wanted a break from social media for a while. It's understandable, lots of people do it.

[Asker]

Initally, a month after breakup, I contacted him. He ignored me, did not delete the life event and our photos. But he did not block me. After a few more months (which is now), I have sent him a touching message, explaining my actions and pleading for him to come back to me. I said if he never wants to talk to me again, just tell me and block me. He never blocked me and deactivated. He has family and friends on his account. I find it very strange that he deactivated after receiving my message.

[CarlitoBrigante]

This is very much a possibility!

[CarlitoBrigante]

Sounds like you've stirred his feelings for you up again. Wait it out till he reaches out now. He's probably processing the hurt he felt at the time when you broke up with him. I think it looks more promising than negative! Let him reach out to you now!!!

[bunanababa]

maybe he just doesn't want you to message him again or something

[Asker]

I am pretty sure a "block" would have sufficed? He doesn't have to delete his FB completely because he has family and friends on there.

[bunanababa]

maybe he doesn't want to block you

[Asker]

But why? A block should really get the message across if he never wanted to speak to me again.

[bunanababa]

no idea. He probably needs time to process everything

[Asker]

I hope that is true. Because in the past, whenever he was upset or needed time to process something, he'd deactivate his FB. Last time I've messaged him, I also deactivated my FB in fears that he would block me. I know for me, I'd block all my exes or tell them to never speak to me again if I don't want to hear from them. My exes don't dictate my life or how I use FB. They can't affect my decision to cut contact with all my FB friends/family.

[bunanababa]

there you have your answer

[CarlitoBrigante]

So, I just had an ex do this. We broke up three months ago and she avoided even speaking in person about why it ended, only giving a bunch of BS cliche reasons via text. I am on my second stretch of no contact after 30 days made no difference to the situation. The 30 day no contact rule is nonsense! So, I'm now 41 days in and she has just deleted her Facebook after recently removing me as a contact on LinkedIn ( a strange move ). I think the Facebook deactivation is a Ln attempt to get attention as was the LinkedIn thing. Most people on these forums unfortunately have very little idea about what they are talking about. Go watch Craig Kenneth on YouTube. I believe the no contact was/is getting to my ex and to stop herself being affected, she has been doing these random things on social media, because I haven't reached out.

[CarlitoBrigante]

On another note, using no contact when you're the dumper, isn't a good idea. I'd say he is very hurt, because not only was he dumped by you, but then you ignored him for an extended period. No contact is a technique for those who have been dumped. All you should have to do is apologise and explain why you ended it. He may feel that you need to show an effort in your actions to win him back and he would be justified to feel this way. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person, just that you made a mistake and are trying to fix it.

[TheStaleMarshmellow]

Well if he was only using it to contact you and not much else. (Facebook has become trash) Then once that went away there's not much incentive to keep what you won't use.

[Asker]

No, he had friends and family on there. We haven't talked for months after I broke up with him. I tried to get in touch with him before, but he never blocked me on FB (I only messaged him twice before stopping completely). He never deleted our life event or photos.

[OfDeath]

Because facebook is shit anyway.

[Asker]

That doesn't really answer my question?