My ex boyfriend dumped me twice but he plays the victim. Why is he acting this way when he's the one that hurt me and dumped me?

We were in love. First loves, first everything, we dated for two years and then for another 3 on and off. He dumped me not twice but like 5 times in those 5 years. Sometimes we would go months and months even years without seeing or talking to each other. Every time he made contact he made me feel like it was my fault. He always made me believe like I was the problem. I used to be confident and happy, but now I have low self esteem and insecurities he made me believe there was something wrong with me. He was an abuser but he always made me feel guilty about every break up, why would someone do this to someone they "loved" do these type of people ever find true happiness


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What Guys Said 2

  • Because he truly thinks that he is the victim or is able to manipulate himself into thinking that. Most people when they break up blame the other person, not taking any blame for whatever they done. I wouldn't worry about it and would be tired of it by now. Just block-ignore him and move on.

    • At this point I'm done with him and the relationship, it's been over a year NC. I've moved on but I'm still hurt about the Things he said and the way he made me feel. I became lonely and I lost friends because of him, I feel like he made me feel worthless and it's hard to get over that.. thanks for your answer

  • Why do you care? He's an ex. Now you know why you never take an ex back and never have anything to do with an ex. I'm sorry but you brought this on yourself

    • I know I hurt myself. I don't blame it on him. He abused me because I allowed it. But it's hard to believe how cruel someone can be, specially someone who at one point "loved you" . If you at least cared about someone at one point you respect them as a person and let them go. He manipulated me and that's the only reason I got back to him so many times. I don't know it's hard to explain.,, sorry

    • Learn from it. Block him and have nothing more to do with him forever. If you have to get a VPO to keep him away from you then do so

    • Thanks

What Girls Said 1

  • They play victim because something is psychologically not correct in their head! They're manipulative and abusive! There is not logical reason for the things they do. And their narcissist. Relationships take 2 to tango. It's rare to have one person as the only victim of wrong. At this point, you were wrong to take him back on and off. He never loved you because he doesn't know how to love you or himself. However, you are the one who took him back 5 times in those 5 YEARS. At this point, you need professional counseling.

    • I agree, it's been a year since it was OVER and although I moved on and don't want anything to do with him I'm still hurt and I feel like I'm damaged, so many mind games fucked me over.

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