Just found out my boyfriend had sex with his sister in the past. Should I break up with him?

I'm floored and weirded out and I just don't know what to do or how to feel. I was really paranoid last night and asked him if he was hiding anything from me. He said yes and I instantly believed he cheated so I pressed him to tell me what it is.

I didn't expect what came out of his mouth. He said that from when he was 14-18, he regularly had sex with his sister (who is a year younger). They're full biological siblings.

I love him but this just makes me see him differently. To even be capable of that... is he right in the head? Is this a major red flag? I can't even FATHOM sleeping with my brother (I just gagged typing it). And he did it for 4 years.

Please help.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • For most of us, incest is not something which we would be capable of doing. For him, it is on the realm of possibilities. Imagine that you marry this guy, you have a daughter, and you need to leave for a week and he and your 13 year old daughter will be alone in the house. How do you feel about that situation? And if you can't tolerate that thought, and this relationship can't lead to anything that you would want to make permanent, then why waste more time on this guy?

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    • Precisely!

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    • I* am going to

    • @tryingnewthings22 "Honey, Saturday night, after Amber's 18th birthday party, do you mind if I bang her all night long?" Does that make a difference? That is what you want for your child?

Most Helpful Girl

  • Up to you. I wouldn't ever date somebody who commited incest. That is psychologically not correct with that. Plus if your gagging with typing it, that should a be clear sign to say sayounara! Because you will regret staying with him longer, you won't drop it, and you will have a hard to forgetting or forgiving for that in the past. If you can't handle it, move on. If he regrets it and repents of it, it's up to you to give him a chance. Everybody has a past, but it's not your job to tolerate it. This is what dating is for. To find out who your dating. At least he's honest. You can at least hold him to that.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 21

  • I mean it depends on how you want to take it. If you don't like that just walk away. If you can get over it by all means do so. I think it's weird but it was their easy way to have sex I guess.

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  • Well does he regret his actions? No one is perfect. Judge him for who is today. We can't go back in time to right past wrongs, what we can do is change our ways that made us to make those choices. If you really resent his past then nail him to the cross and throw him out the window. Before you do that look your self in the mirror and ask you're self have I done evil and have people judged me? Remember how you felt when someone dug up dirt against you for your past and held you accountable for your past. To be human is to make mistakes as long as your learn from your mistakes.

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  • I wouldn't be with someone like that. Incest is unhealthy. For the body and mind. Just think about how a lot of serial killers have sex with family. Bates Motel anyone?

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  • That's just really... unusual. I'm not even sure what to say. I've heard of such things happening; but I've never been able to chime in on them. There's nothing that can be done legally; it's all he said/she said. I wouldn't even go down that road. I guess if I were you, I'd want to know his level of commitment. Is he really committed to you? If so, you're probably ok.

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  • MAJOR RED FLAG. FUCKING RUN. Some lines you don't cross. Just gross.

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  • Well some people in their teen age like to experiment sex but its still weird. I know some people who saw their cousin naked when they were kids, but not sex

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  • Incest being bad is purely a social construct.
    Muslim majority countries think of homosexual acts the same way you think of incest, while Europeans think of fucking 14~15 year olds as something normal.

    It's all things that hurt literally no one but still things certain groups of people have chosen to get outraged by.

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  • Is it bad that i would honestly be asking for more details? Seriously though as long as he's clean and there were no unexpected surprises i dont see the issues, if anything it might have helped them practice sexual safety

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  • Oh god this is terrible. I don't think I could look at friend the same way if I found out they slept with their sibling, let alone a girlfriend! I'd end things. You don't want any part of that.

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  • he needs serious help, especially if he didn't see anything with what he did. there may have been other factors involved, but the fact that it went on for at least 4 years says a lot about his ideas of inappropriate behavior and rationalizing the fact that he is fucking his sister. he is psychologically damaged whether he believes that or not. it may be possible to get him back on the right track but that's not a quick fix. he first needs to own the fact that what he did was wrong.

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  • Well I am SHOCKED hearing this sh*t. Fortunately it's the past and it was his sister (WTF? LOL). Had it been with another girl I would've left him. Leave it in the past and forgive him, unless he did commit incest during your relationship. You love/like each other very much right?

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  • It's definitely a really weird situation if you feel like you can't view him he same and love him the same after that then you definitely should. How long ago was it? I don't think any one in there right mind would practice incest and even till the age of 18 it continued. And how long how you been dating?

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  • hmmm does he own a banjo and drink moonshine and grow up in a cabin in the deep woods remember kids incests a game for the whole family, joking aside its just plain wrong there may even be a past history of abuse or incest with other relatives which could be the underlying problem of why they did it.

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  • Did he push a little boy out the window and make him a cripple that lead to 151,000 deaths?

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  • This has to be a joke

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  • I'm going to be run out of town here and what state are you from

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  • Start calling him Kingslayer.

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  • Awkward.

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  • I don't think you should be dating him. unless you like sex then maybe...

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  • incest happens more often then people think. did he explain why he did it? and what are your thoughts on it? there is nothing wrong with him mentally. do you still love him?

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  • Run away from this! And dont look back

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What Girls Said 9

  • oh no. I don't think I could continue on dating a person if I found that out. That's gross. I can't imagine sleeping with my brothers either. blehhhh. I'd have to call it off.

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  • How did they hide that from their parents? What were their parents doing that they didn't suspect anything? And didn't they teach their children that incest is wrong? What kind of folks were the parents?
    You have to wonder.
    It's up to you but I'd be wary of someone like that, especially if you ever had children with him

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  • He needs therapy but long as he stopped I guess it might be fine I just find it very odd I am sorry for the situation you are in

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    • Once would've been ok, a few times maybe she could let it slide but for four whole years? That is just... dsfajkeshfoiwqajefo

    • @TheUglyMonk Yehh... therapy therapy massive amounts of therapy somethings not right with the brother and sisters head they really need therapy the guy probably needs to work on himself some before dating someone

  • that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard on here. I'm so sorry. if you guys aren't like serious and have a life together I would leave, if you are... it's really something you have to decide for yourself..

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  • you just break up with him how can he do so his own sister disgusting in future can u leave ur daughter with him in trust he is too mean.

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  • That would be a deal breaker for me... incest is never ok.

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  • There's actually a legal situation here. It sounds a bit like rape. Whats the age difference.

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    • Whats alarming is SO MANY men on here are saying incest is fine. And the fact that you reacted how you did to a fair observation is also a bit alarming.

    • @Prime_Sol Thanks for the compliment :) AND AGAIN. I missed where she said the girl was a year younger so when I asked I was asking on behalf of each sibling. And as you just said, this is twisted family business so rape is not a stretch in this situation since rape happens mostly with trusted people who grew up in your life. And, learn to read, I added PLUS in my wording because it was an addition to the comment I was making, whether you implied it or not in your statement to me. Besides, since I was "crying rape", you implied I was a bitch so the name calling started with you and then you continued. Let me put this in your terms so you understand: Chill dude, you ain't cute.

  • That's not normal by any means. I'm sorry that you're finding this out about someone you love, but girl you need to run fast and lock the door behind you.

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  • Did someone make them do that? Why would he do that? 😖😢

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