Just found out my boyfriend had sex with his sister in the past. Should I break up with him?

[Anonymous]

I'm floored and weirded out and I just don't know what to do or how to feel. I was really paranoid last night and asked him if he was hiding anything from me. He said yes and I instantly believed he cheated so I pressed him to tell me what it is.

I didn't expect what came out of his mouth. He said that from when he was 14-18, he regularly had sex with his sister (who is a year younger). They're full biological siblings.

I love him but this just makes me see him differently. To even be capable of that... is he right in the head? Is this a major red flag? I can't even FATHOM sleeping with my brother (I just gagged typing it). And he did it for 4 years.

Please help.

[btbc92]

Up to you. I wouldn't ever date somebody who commited incest. That is psychologically not correct with that. Plus if your gagging with typing it, that should a be clear sign to say sayounara! Because you will regret staying with him longer, you won't drop it, and you will have a hard to forgetting or forgiving for that in the past. If you can't handle it, move on. If he regrets it and repents of it, it's up to you to give him a chance. Everybody has a past, but it's not your job to tolerate it. This is what dating is for. To find out who your dating. At least he's honest. You can at least hold him to that.

[pooper89]

How did they hide that from their parents? What were their parents doing that they didn't suspect anything? And didn't they teach their children that incest is wrong? What kind of folks were the parents?
You have to wonder.
It's up to you but I'd be wary of someone like that, especially if you ever had children with him

[mj97l]

oh no. I don't think I could continue on dating a person if I found that out. That's gross. I can't imagine sleeping with my brothers either. blehhhh. I'd have to call it off.

[Max_winner1]

Well does he regret his actions? No one is perfect. Judge him for who is today. We can't go back in time to right past wrongs, what we can do is change our ways that made us to make those choices. If you really resent his past then nail him to the cross and throw him out the window. Before you do that look your self in the mirror and ask you're self have I done evil and have people judged me? Remember how you felt when someone dug up dirt against you for your past and held you accountable for your past. To be human is to make mistakes as long as your learn from your mistakes.

[OlderAndWiser]

For most of us, incest is not something which we would be capable of doing. For him, it is on the realm of possibilities. Imagine that you marry this guy, you have a daughter, and you need to leave for a week and he and your 13 year old daughter will be alone in the house. How do you feel about that situation? And if you can't tolerate that thought, and this relationship can't lead to anything that you would want to make permanent, then why waste more time on this guy?

[Cavewoman]

Precisely!

[tryingnewthings22]

you compared incest to pedophilia when they are not even in the same realm of thinking and they are exclusively their own thing

[Cavewoman]

@tryingnewthings22 Sex with a daughter is incest regardless of how old the daughter is! I will not trust a man with such a record to be alone with a daughter in the house whether she is a fully grown adult or a child.

[tryingnewthings22]

@Cavewoman no, I am saying he compared having sex with his sister to pedophilia. I understand the grown part, but still, its not the same thing

[OlderAndWiser]

@tryingnewthings22 He said he started having sex with his sister when he was 14 and the sister was one year younger, so she was 13 years old at the time. Right? There is not a big difference between having sex with your 13 year old sister and having sex with your 13 year old daughter; both involve crossing lines that you know - you know without a doubt - should not be crossed. Having done one of these makes it much more likely - not 100% guaranteed, but much more likely - that he would do the other. When you think about protecting children, it is not okay to expose them to a risk of sexual abuse just because it wasn't a 100% likelihood that the sexual abuse would occur.

[tryingnewthings22]

he was a year older, and this is comparing an adult and a 13 year old. I see where you are going with him clearly having no boundaries with having relations with family members, but pedophilia is something different. He may like children he may not, he may wait until she is of age, still sick though guess we can agree on that?

[OlderAndWiser]

@tryingnewthings22 Yes, it is a difference that really doesn't make much of a difference.

[tryingnewthings22]

well if he waits until she is a adult at least he is not attracted to children. of course, we still have the problem of the girl being his daughter

[Cavewoman]

@Yes, it is a difference that really doesn't make much of a difference.
am going to steal this line, Mr OlderAndWiser.

[Cavewoman]

I* am going to

[OlderAndWiser]

@tryingnewthings22 "Honey, Saturday night, after Amber's 18th birthday party, do you mind if I bang her all night long?" Does that make a difference? That is what you want for your child?

[jjourneyman]

@tryingnewthings22 I agree. There is a huge line between having sex with your sister or abusing a child. I would cut anyone's nuts off if they abused my child. Not even in the same realm.

[jjourneyman]

I don't like to judge. My sister and I have been having sex since we were in our early teens (I was 14, she was 15). Even as kids, we were always close.

I think it depends on the family dynamic. We were both latchkey kids. I developed physically very early. Our parents were gone a lot. I remember playing "tickling" when we were very young. Eventually, that led to more serious play as we got older. By the time I was 15, I was almost 6ft. She was much smaller physically... about 5'2". As the 'bigger' brother, I was kind of the enforcer when creepy guys would hit on her.

One day, after playing pool volleyball, I had gotten a bad sunburn. She offered to rub aloe lotion on me. The rest was history. We didn't have intercourse that day, but let's just say, by the time we finished... we both finished. We didn't start having intercourse until she got on the pill.

Someone earlier in this thread asked how you could keep something like that a secret from parents and friends... trust me... it hasn't been easy. But, it's doable.

It's probably the most unconventional type of relationship, but there is no one who knows me better than she does, and vice versa. And, no, we never had any children together. That would be a big no-no. But we do have a long history together, both as normal people, siblings and sex partners.

Personally, I don't think it should be a make or break deal - even if he was hiding it from you. The fact that you are aware, it should be discussed. I have always kept my sister's and my relationship as discreet as possible. If she knew I was in a another relationship she would lay low, as did I when she was.

Now that we're both a little older, established, both single, and our parents have passed, we feel more at ease to resume our relationship.

[lightbulb27]

March down to therapist, this is a mess. one has to ask... at what age, what the sisters view of htis is... sex or rape?

this is a mess, but ignoring it prolongs and postpones the pain.

there's a reason why this isn't accepted.

keep in mind that "Adam and Eve's" kids, and probably Noah's kids, probably did the same and we'd all be related to them... so it's not the end of the world, just a generally bad and unaccepted social behavior.

[JustALilDifferent]

I’m gonna say it depends on your love for him. Is he Mr. Right or just Mr. Right now? Also you have to judge his personality as far as the future goes. I’m gonna correct these people on here who say “think if you have a daughter”…….. I can tell you, speaking as a man with a lot of experience in this department…. and has a daughter of my own………never in a million years would I ever think to look at my daughter that way. Saying “think of the daughter” is absurd because you’re insinuating that just because they were/are attracted to their sister that they must be a predator out to get all women. Also someone said that it’s only the men saying incest is ok, each of my sisters initiated our activities first!

[Streamhopper]

That's just really... unusual. I'm not even sure what to say. I've heard of such things happening; but I've never been able to chime in on them. There's nothing that can be done legally; it's all he said/she said. I wouldn't even go down that road. I guess if I were you, I'd want to know his level of commitment. Is he really committed to you? If so, you're probably ok.

[Harlock2045]

he needs serious help, especially if he didn't see anything with what he did. there may have been other factors involved, but the fact that it went on for at least 4 years says a lot about his ideas of inappropriate behavior and rationalizing the fact that he is fucking his sister. he is psychologically damaged whether he believes that or not. it may be possible to get him back on the right track but that's not a quick fix. he first needs to own the fact that what he did was wrong.

[SystemOfTheMachine]

I wouldn't be with someone like that. Incest is unhealthy. For the body and mind. Just think about how a lot of serial killers have sex with family. Bates Motel anyone?

[LethalTactics]

I mean it depends on how you want to take it. If you don't like that just walk away. If you can get over it by all means do so. I think it's weird but it was their easy way to have sex I guess.

[Kuraj]

Incest being bad is purely a social construct.
Muslim majority countries think of homosexual acts the same way you think of incest, while Europeans think of fucking 14~15 year olds as something normal.

It's all things that hurt literally no one but still things certain groups of people have chosen to get outraged by.

[TheMostCharming]

It's definitely a really weird situation if you feel like you can't view him he same and love him the same after that then you definitely should. How long ago was it? I don't think any one in there right mind would practice incest and even till the age of 18 it continued. And how long how you been dating?

[TeensToBoneAgent]

Listen i will start with a question. Why do you have sex with him? Because of a need or because of love? If love is why look at sibling sex as a pure form of love. Sure you can make it nasty. But sex is used as a stress anxiety relief, cardio, and mental and emotional buffer. So let me ask you this as a man whose little half sister sucked him with his girlfriend her friend. isn't it safer sex with a sibling than with a stranger?

[gandalfthenutty]

hmmm does he own a banjo and drink moonshine and grow up in a cabin in the deep woods remember kids incests a game for the whole family, joking aside its just plain wrong there may even be a past history of abuse or incest with other relatives which could be the underlying problem of why they did it.

[Asad1ONE1]

Well I am SHOCKED hearing this sh*t. Fortunately it's the past and it was his sister (WTF? LOL). Had it been with another girl I would've left him. Leave it in the past and forgive him, unless he did commit incest during your relationship. You love/like each other very much right?

[uradorito_]

that is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard on here. I'm so sorry. if you guys aren't like serious and have a life together I would leave, if you are... it's really something you have to decide for yourself..

[TeensToBoneAgent]

So because a man lovez and trusts you enough to admit a secrate like that youd be disguested off jump? I've slept with my little sister ohio its legal for half siblings. We had sex as our only means of stress r3lief. Was amazing until she pretends it didn't happen. I told my girlfriend i used to fuck my little sister. And how id do it now. I told her and explained to her why and she understood and said if its my family it won't b3 cheating. My girlfriend was raped by 2 dudes as a kid and she hinted that she wants to have a threesome with her little sister or my mom or have a orgy with me my mom my sisters ane her her aunt and her sister. I've shown her mom my dick and my girlfriend watched. Anyone of european descent is a product of incest. And just because the sex is the best doesn't mean we procreate

[somerandomgirl9150]

He needs therapy but long as he stopped I guess it might be fine I just find it very odd I am sorry for the situation you are in

[TheUglyMonk]

Once would've been ok, a few times maybe she could let it slide but for four whole years? That is just... dsfajkeshfoiwqajefo

[somerandomgirl9150]

@TheUglyMonk Yehh... therapy therapy massive amounts of therapy somethings not right with the brother and sisters head they really need therapy the guy probably needs to work on himself some before dating someone

[J9inva]

That's probably something he should have never told you. I can give you some insight though. I had a sexual relationship with my sister too. It started when I was 16 and she was 11. I don't want to get into all the details but now many, many years later we still get together once a month for sex.

[JustHereLurking]

That’s rape!! She was way too young for you to start having sex with her! You were old enough to know better, where she wasn’t even a teen yet! You groomed her! There’s a difference!

[slutsdontgetoral]

MAJOR RED FLAG. FUCKING RUN. Some lines you don't cross. Just gross.

[user45663789]

I want to have sex with my sister, but I haven't tried because I think she wouldn't go for it, and I dont want to ruin our relationship. Ultimately it's up to you whether you can accept it or not. If it's in the past, then leave it in the past.

[Malik00]

Is it bad that i would honestly be asking for more details? Seriously though as long as he's clean and there were no unexpected surprises i dont see the issues, if anything it might have helped them practice sexual safety

[Anonymous]

When I was growing up, I remember seeing this kind of porn on my sister's computer and I actually watched the same. I thought should I bring it up with her? Never did but it sucked knowing this and seeing her for years growing up

[akadatank44]

Oh god this is terrible. I don't think I could look at friend the same way if I found out they slept with their sibling, let alone a girlfriend! I'd end things. You don't want any part of that.

[NaultD]

Did he push a little boy out the window and make him a cripple that lead to 151,000 deaths?

[Anonymous]

That's not normal by any means. I'm sorry that you're finding this out about someone you love, but girl you need to run fast and lock the door behind you.

[Texasmade1]

Well some people in their teen age like to experiment sex but its still weird. I know some people who saw their cousin naked when they were kids, but not sex

[Moni14]

Just found out the guys I've been dating for 3years went on a trip to Mexico to see family and had sex with his sister multiple times. I was told by the dad. It's so disgusting. You shouldn't be with someone like that.

[Anonymous]

incest happens more often then people think. did he explain why he did it? and what are your thoughts on it? there is nothing wrong with him mentally. do you still love him?

[Chris0609]

That would be a deal breaker for me... incest is never ok.

[Anuakshay]

you just break up with him how can he do so his own sister disgusting in future can u leave ur daughter with him in trust he is too mean.

[ThomasDavid1989]

lol, it's funny that this is what he chose to tell you about "hiding" something from you

[Anonymous]

There's actually a legal situation here. It sounds a bit like rape. Whats the age difference.

[Opinion Owner]

Whats alarming is SO MANY men on here are saying incest is fine. And the fact that you reacted how you did to a fair observation is also a bit alarming.

[Opinion Owner]

@Prime_Sol Thanks for the compliment :) AND AGAIN. I missed where she said the girl was a year younger so when I asked I was asking on behalf of each sibling. And as you just said, this is twisted family business so rape is not a stretch in this situation since rape happens mostly with trusted people who grew up in your life. And, learn to read, I added PLUS in my wording because it was an addition to the comment I was making, whether you implied it or not in your statement to me. Besides, since I was "crying rape", you implied I was a bitch so the name calling started with you and then you continued. Let me put this in your terms so you understand: Chill dude, you ain't cute.

[Anonymous]

Did someone make them do that? Why would he do that? 😖😢

[johnmichaei]

I'm going to be run out of town here and what state are you from

[Flashing]

I don't think you should be dating him. unless you like sex then maybe...

[TenderFantasy]

Wow how did she not get pregnant? !

[Leggomyeggo]

This has to be a joke

[Totally_A_Dude]

Start calling him Kingslayer.

[Anonymous]

Run away from this! And dont look back

[cloud9vortex1234]

Yes, you need run from that Sicko.

[edgyfox]

Awkward.