My boyfriend had sex with his best friend (girl) the minute we broke up?

Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 years. I have had doubts about his best friend who is a girl but i have always trusted him so decided to leave it be. However, we recently broke up and got back together within a week. I found on his phone (I had to use it due to mine being out of battery) that he had gone to her house and they had sex as soon as we broke up. He denied it to the last until I told him I saw the texts and he admitted everything. I have sacrificed so many friendships for this person and he has betrayed me in the worst possible way. Any time I look at him all I can imagine is her and him together? I don't know what to do at this stage, my friends and family hate him and have told me to block him but there's still feelings there and we both have tattoos of each other's name so I feel like we have to be together now which is stupid I know.

  • Should I forgive him and work things out?
    4%(1)12%(9)Vote16%(8)
  • Leave him completely.
    96%(22)88%(65)Vote84%(43)
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Updates:
We both agreed it wasn't working anymore, I've had a gut feeling she has something for him and he admitted while he was having sexual he felt something for her and I left straight away but he followed me home insisting that deep down he doesn't feel anything for her when he thinks about it and that it's me he loves not her?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • who did the breaking up?

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you already know what the right thing to do is. A lot of people here are saying you were broken up, so you have nothing to be mad about, but that's really missing the point. What kind of relationship can you have with someone you don't trust? Someone you SHOULDN'T trust. He only admitted to what he had done when you confronted him with proof. Clearly he felt guilty, and people don't feel guilty for no reason. I wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the first time this has happened too, but I doubt you'll ever get the truth out of him.
    Don't sell yourself short, girl! You deserve to be in a healthy relationship. You don't have to tolerate this stuff.

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What Guys Said 23

  • There is SO much wrong about this situation.

    1. 'However, we recently broke up and got back together within a week." You should not break up unless you are really breaking up, in which case you should go no contact for the remainder of your lives (unless you have a child together.) This is just silly drama.

    2. "I found on his phone (I had to use it due to mine being out of battery)" No one reading this believes that statement. You went snooping and you don't want to admit it.

    3. "He had gone to her house and they had sex as soon as we broke up." You "broke up!" Remember? That means that he had no obligation to be faithful to you. The act that he would go jump on her bones so soon means that his feelings for you were not very strong, and he probably wanted to give her a poke even before you broke up.

    4. "I have sacrificed so many friendships for this person" That is a very bad sign!

    5. "I don't know what to do at this stage" Yes, you do know. You are just being dramatic about this.

    6. "my friends and family hate him" Of course they do. You told them all the awful details and they took your side, so they hate his guts and want to set him on fire. Don't tell family and friends about your relationship problems unless you are REALLY breaking up, because they will take sides and then you will have more conflicts when you and the "ex" reunite.

    7. "there's still feelings there" Yes, break ups always suck because there are always feelings involved.

    8. "we both have tattoos of each other's name" Incredibly stupid thing to do. What will your next boyfriend think when he sees "Eric" on your ass?

    9. Because of the tattoos, "I feel like we have to be together now." Is that really a reason to stay together? That is all it takes for you? If so, you can never break up so you might as well go marry him!

    You should break up and give yourself a few years before you start dating again, but I suspect you will either stay with this guy or go find another one just like him.

    Do yourself a favor and contemplate this question: How is all of this drama and nonsense going to lead you into a happy long term relationship with a guy who is worth having?

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    • Of coarse I was snooping I thought that was obvious? I was on his phone anyway of coarse it lead to temptation. It wasn't the fact he had sex it was WHO he said sex with after years of being told there is nothing going on. The tattoos I have addressed already.
      To answer your question it's not. I'm trying to find out if this relationship is worth trying to patch up. That was the point in this poll incase you haven't realised.

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    • Obviously not anymore it doesn't. But I was talking about how it once was, you have gotten your point across chill!!

    • @Matti_Jr wow thank you for your kind words. He is the one still chasing me not the other way around that's why I'm confused. Is it not obvious from the questions? Hmm

  • If you two were broken up, he's allowed to do whatever he wants.

    I'm not sure how he 'betrayed you in the worst possible way' He didn't cheat on you, if that's what you were getting at. All he's really guilty of is lying. That's shitty, sure, but he probably didn't know you two would get back together a week later and sharing something like that on his own would have probably killed any chance of a reconciliation.

    You sacrificing friendships is on you. You need to learn to properly weigh the importance of other factors in your life comparative to a flawed relationship.

    Getting tattoos of a lover's name is almost always stupid. Convincing yourself you have to stay with that person because of said tattoos is even more stupid.

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    • But this isn't just any girl this is someone I've had suspicions about the whole time. Any other girl I can get over but it's this particular girl and he knows how I feel about her.
      I sacrificed relationships to make this relationship work.
      It's absolutely stupid and I never thought I was one of those people but I thought this relationship was forever.

  • If you didn't have tattoos or such a long period of time I would drop him instantly.

    Either way, if this is how the relationship is going on now how do you think it will be going later on. I would leave him, never get tattoos especially of someone's name. Try to laser it off, go on Google there is a people who do it for free sometimes.

    The guys garbage

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  • If you already broke up I'm not sure why you care. He's not a part of your life anymore, you can't double break up.

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  • Let me tell you this, it won't get any easier to leave him then it should be right now. If you go back with him, hopefully it works out. You don't want to do this again. The day my wife and I seperated I was feeling down so I just buried myself in work. The next day I saw her holding hands with my bookie. I took off and hooked up with her cousin, who hated her. It was so easy to get over her then.

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  • i would normally ask for more context, but since you two were still talking and seeing each other after breakup, i assume that it was a civil one. there is no reason for him to disrespect you like that.

    in some terrible break up cases, the girl friend may offer to "ease the heartbreak" with sex, but you two sounded ok, so this should not apply

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  • Shit happens.

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  • If YOU broke it off with him, be mad at yourself not him. His friend may have had a secret crush on him or wanted to sooth a broken heart. If he broke up with you and did that, leave his ass.

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  • Hey, its your life. Just don't let a person to ruin it. He has cheated upon u and he has hidden that too. Its bot going to work again. If once u lost the trust and then again u r trying to keep upon this relationship, its not going to workout. Its going to end up with doubts and its will all get messed up for sure. There will always be aftereffects if these incidents and u don't have to keep up in this relationship. Trust is the key point of a relationship.

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  • You shouldn't have someone causing so much drama in your life. Take your family hating him and the bridges you've burned as a lesson. If you're going to be with someone, firstly the things you do together are not stowed away reasons to stay together once one of you mess up. And he messed up. Leave. Treat yourself better and who will treat you better will come along

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  • Well, you weren't in a relationship when he had sex with his friend, so he didn't cheat on you or anything. I don't think this was a betrayal. I don't like the lying part afterwards though.

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  • I clicked on the wrong option.. I wanted to say hat you should forgive him for sleeping with that girl. technically you both were broken up and he didn't cheat and it doesn't show that he was disloyal. instead the breakup made him act out. that means it was a big deal for him too.. why did you both breakup?

    but on a different note, him lying to you about it is different..

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  • Whos idea was it to break up?

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  • You were broken up, what he was doing meanwhile is none of your business.

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  • DON'T forgive him, don't make the mistake of being too nice and too naive. I'm giving you some tough love here but believe me I know what I'm talking about.

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  • Deal with it.

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  • And thats why you dont get a tattoo of anothers name on you

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  • if this wasn't an issue he wouldn't have lied about it. he can argue that you were broken up till he is blue in the face but he lied so get rid

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  • sounds like this was planned all along.

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  • you broke up, the time between than and when you got back together don't count for cheating

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    • exactly

    • Yeah but he didn't care about the fact that an issue that only she has to deal with. And if he cared about he wouldn't have put her in that situation

  • that guy is just using U and the other girl..

    beat the shit out of him and leave him..

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  • This complete is kindergarten.

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  • If you were broken up at the time then there's nothing wrong with what he did. Your a topical female and think you own a man even if your not in relationship.

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    • Are you serious? I don't own him nor do I want to. Your a typical male where you treat women like dirt and when you finally get a reaction you call women "crazy". There's everything wrong with it if you bothered to read my question. I guess your small immature boyish mind won't allow you to think of anyone but yourself.

What Girls Said 4

  • oooH this bothers me that people say "well you weren't dating" as if 3 years was just thrown away! heck no. I know you still like him. you feel obligated to like him since its 3 years. he lied to you about having sex with her. and seems to not think about your relationship and jumping in on his best friend. I would NOT stay with him. There is no trust in the relationship if he can't even tell you that he had sex with her. Trust is huge and he dropped it all.

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    • Exactly I completely agree.. it will be his loss trust me she's a huge down grade from me!

    • if he had no feelings for her, then he wouldn't have gone and had sex with her. "bestfriend" my ass lol

  • Don't worry about him

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  • You are young. We all make some kind of mistakes. Look forward.
    Never accept a man with a best female friend. No such thing.
    Until he has you, worked for you. You don't tatoo his name. (back then you don't even give sex without him working to win you right?)

    Heal, let this past. move on dear... best.

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  • He was using you

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