My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. Two nights ago, I was really stressed out and we had a nigh fight over nothing and I told him that I wanted to end it. He asked if I was serious, I told him "yes" and that was it.
I called him the yesterday to apologize and he said that we should meet and talk. Last night we met and we said we still loved each other and wanted to stay together. Then he told me that the night before, he was heartbroken and hurting so he went to a bar. He got really drunk and then slept with another girl.
I don't know what to do. How could he do that to me? Should I take him back?
- Take him backVote A
- Don't take him backVote B
- I'm not sureVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Monogamy isn't something most men magically do because they're in love.
Its a conscious choice to forego other women to focus on you. They aren't necessarily doing it just 'for you', but for the relationship.
no relationship, doesn't matter if they are in love with someone or not, they're still interested in having sex with attractive women.
You said you were done, that's what happens. He doesn't go wait on the shelf for when you want to pick him up and play with him again. His life moves forward.5
Most Helpful Girl
Let me break this down in simple terms, okay?
You two had a fight over (in your words "nothing"). So, in the heat of that moment you told him you wanted to break up. He asked you if you were serious about that (probably to clarify if you meant it or were just acting out of emotion) and you said "yes". So, in his mind and especially in his heart you two had official ended things. Because, that is what you told him.
Now, he was hurt and upset and probably very confused. To numb that pain and lessen that confusion or to forget everything altogether, he goes to a bar to get drunk and forget he's troubles (which a lot of people do). Then in his vulnerable state, he meets a girl and she was probably nice to him and between the alcohol and the broken heart, they slept together.
The conclusion or lesson of that story is, there's difference between something you intend to do on purpose and something you do in a vulnerable emotional state. He did not plan to cheat on you or get drunk that night, you broke up with him and he was trying find a way to cope with that. The alcohol was to numb the pain. Sleeping with the women from the bar, was his way of seeking comfort in a weak moment (which people also do a lot, whether they admit it or not).
My advice, he didn't actually cheat on you. So, he didn't sleep with that girl on purpose. You both made mistakes that night. Your mistake was taking a fight about nothing and deciding to break up with him in that moment and thinking that when you said "yes" you really meant it, he'd somehow know that you really meant "no" but just felt like saying yes. His mistake was numbing his pain with alcohol and then seeking comfort in another (alcohol and emotions, are never a good combination). So, neither one of you is saint here. So, you both need to sit down and decide what the right thing to do here is and maybe take it slow.5
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