Do you consider drunk kissing another girl cheating? ?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend had gone to a party last week that I didn’t know of There was this girl who started rubbing up against him in a hot tub and they made out Do you consider this cheating? What should I do about it? I asked him “why did you do it?… did you want to feel single for a night or what’s the reason?” And he said while staring at the ground bc he couldn’t look me in the eyes and sheepishly said “ yeah, yeah I guess that’s why I did it”. I consider it cheating given his responses I asked him “at what point did I pop into your head Did you even think of me when you were doing any of this” to which he replied “I know I shouldn’t have done it but I thought of you in the beginning when it started. Obviously he didn’t say tell her no or go home I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that it didn’t go any further into having sex but I never would have expected this coming from him I want to trust him but how can I when he could do this again any time he may feel like wanting to be single for the night At the same time I feel like he does feel guilty and it may only be a one time thing. This conversation happened two days ago, this past Friday but he took a week to tell me. He had planned to come over for dinner after work. He knocked on my door, smiled, walked to the kitchen and turned around and said “I have something to tell you but your not going to like it. Saturday after the carnival, (the annual fundraising carnival) a bunch of us firefighters went to a party at someone’s house. We were all a little drunk. This girl started rubbing up against me in the hot tub and I made out with her”. I asked the usual questions of why would you do this, who was the girl etc and then told him that he needed to go home and think about what he wanted. Am I over reacting? He said when I asked him if he had sex with her, he told me “no” and when I asked him if he would have wanted it to go further, would he have allowed it and he said “no, I wouldn’t have wanted it to go further”

[Anonymous]

It's definitely cheating, but I give him a few points for actually confessing to it.
The shady bitch who cheated on me just denied, denied, denied it and kept doing it.
He's obviously weak to temptations and you can't trust him, but I don't think he's a total snake.
I just think he got drunk and didn't think about you anymore.
He's inconsiderate.
If you're genuinely hurt about it I would tell him that maybe you're better off just being friends for now.
He hasn't earned your trust and you may want to explore other options.
Your call.

[Not_Average]

Yeah, that's cheating. He sounds like he easily caves into peer pressure, and he doesn't respect what commitment actually entails. He just jeopardized your entire relationship and ruined that foundation of trust. The relationship will be in the brink of failure at this point. He doesn't value you. I'd leave if I were you. If you really love him, be prepared to go through trust issues and plenty of fights for years to come. It's possible to get it back, but it takes a hell of a lot of commitment.

[Asker]

Every relationship has it problems and mine sure has its share of them. We have been together for a while now (years). I sent him home the other day and told him that he needs to think about what he wants. I haven’t heard from him in two days. Whenever he knows he did something wrong or that he thinks I’m just mad at him for some ridiculous reason, he will shut down and not contact me until he thinks I’m no longer mad at him.

[Asker]

We’ve agreed to go to counseling and work things out for other issues. We haven’t started yet bc with COVID the counselors we’ve contacted are beyond booked up. And then he does this two weeks before our anniversary

[Not_Average]

I agree. My girl and I are getting married this week and have gone through hell and back. I've had my fair share of toxic relationships in the past as well. I know he's a firefighter and you probably look at him with the utmost respect and maturity, but he honestly has the maturity level of me when I was an 18-year-old Marine which isn't saying much lol. It sounds to me like he doesn't possess the emotional maturity to make things work. He's not expressing empathy to the situation he's put you in nor is he willing to communicate. A relationship only works when both parties are fully committed to serving each other. I wake up in the morning and ask myself what can I do for my girl. She does the same. We're not perfect, but ever since we've switched my mindset entirely our relationship has done a 180. You have to ask yourself if you're willing to go through his growing pains or not. He will undoubtedly make you feel neglected and continue to damage your self esteem if he doesn't change. If you really love him, then you can help guide him into a direction in which he grows up and starts acting like a man. Just know that it will come with pain.

[Asker]

We have been together 7 years and not much has changed. He isn’t ready to live together and puts his parents before me. I understand they are important but so am I. I feel like I’m the one who does most of the talking when we have problems and try to resolve them. I try so hard to make things work. I’ve never been one to give up on relationships until it wears me down. With previous issues, we agreed to go see a counselor but then COVID happened and can’t get an appointment. I thought we were working things out and then he goes and makes out with a girl at a party and hides it from me for a week, which makes me wonder if he was ever going to tell me. I don’t know what to do. My heart says stay but my head says take a break so he can grow up. I don't know what to do

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Oh 100% it is cheating. Just flip it around this way. Would he have considered it ok if you were the drunk girl and made out with some strange guy?

[exitseven]

I would consider it cheating. I do not know what I would do in your place. Maybe I would communicate what is cheating and what is not.

[In_Trance]

Kiss a girl in front of your boyfriend and see if he thinks you're cheating

[JennieF]

Maybe.

[Sketti2021]

Absolutely

[Nachowedgie]

100%