My ex left me, said she can't trust me anymore. I want her back!

[Anonymous]

I have just split up with my ex-girlfriend of 6 months 4 weeks ago. Basically she is very insecure and has big trust issues due to her last 2-3 boyfriends cheating on her. I went out one night, got hammered and she saw me "all over" another woman on the dance floor. Just dancing but apparently my hands were all over her! This is not like me and I would never do anything to hurt her. She saw and ended it there and then. The next day I rang and apologized non stop, sent her flowers etc. After the convo she text me loads and my mum and said she didn't no if she could take me back. I cried and begged for her and in the end she just sent me an e-mail saying she could never trust me again and that she is moving on. She told everyone I was the love of her life and even talked marriage. We both work together too and mutual friends say she thinks I am a great guy still but she can't take me back. So I have left it for a week. Hurts like hell because I do love her and miss her! Rumors are now going around the workplace saying she is seeing some other guy there but she denies this. Taking this for face value as she is no liar. Is there anyway back? Even if its not soon?

Updates

+1 y

Anyone!?

[Spikes105466]

There isn't anything you can do at this moment. It hurts to know that you love someone and screwed up. I found that giving them some time to think about it does help. You already given up a week, another wouldn't be bad. Then set up a time to meet and talk things out.

I done the same thing with my girl, however I was drunk and said I loved her but said a different girls name (ouch). Anyway, she was p*ssed, distrusted me, thought of me as a liar and scumbag. We were friends for about four day (I was over her house for a week) and they were awkward and hard for me because I did love her...

Anyway, I ended it by just talking to her and saying that I apologized for the way I acted, it wasn't me. I had too much to drink because I would never intend to do that or hurt you in anyway way. It was stupid of me and I will never do it again. I manned up to my mistakes and told her all of this while having her look into my eyes. She took me back afterward.

You should man up to your mistakes and tell her face to face how you feel sh*tty about it and didn't want to harm her. Don't weep while saying this, try to be confident and strong, yet sympathetic. It is hard to man up to your mistakes, it is harder when you are weeping like a little girl. Anyway, yeah. Set something up with her. That something is up to you.

[Jiffy]

Ixenomorph is right... I had the exact same problem , I made the same mistake as you , I had the same type of girlfriend that had the same issues... all I can say to you is to calm the f*** down first of all... if you want to loose her forever or risk getting a restraining order you can continue with your behavior or follow some advise. You tell her you are sorry for the mess you made and from now on you going to leave her alone... for a min period of 6 weeks you don't make contact , not from your side anyway... you don't go mess around with other woman , you don't contact her friends , you fall of the radar basically... time is a powerfull tool if you use it right and I hate to break it to you but this chick is playing you by telling you she is seeing someone ells , she wants your attention even if it is negative...suck it up like a man and ride it out, she will come crawling back because she will soon realize who you really are and that she percieved you to be someone you are not ... take this time to go find that guy she fell in love with the first time , the secret here is yourself and patience, maturity...

[Asker]

Cheers for the replies, makes a lot of sense. Well she called me the other night because she said I have been chatting about her to everyone at work. I have not though! She started crying and asked me to stop. I informed her I have been sticking up for her! She said not to text/call her. So I have not. She kept saying she trusts no one and can't wait to leave her job. And now I find out she is seeing someone else at work.

[Anonymous]

well why were you all over another girl? you shouldn't be dancing with girls like that when you have a girlfriend. especially if your girlfriend is insecure and has trust issues. how are you helping her get over that?

i am a girl who has trust issues as well so listen carefully..

when a girl has been hurt by a guy continuously losing all her self belief, she realizes that no guy will ever treat her right. and they begin to wonder what it would be like to have someone perfect who would never hurt her. so girls have this perfect guy in their minds but he doesn't exist. which makes it harder to accept a guy who is at least trying. that is why it hurt her so much when you danced with a girl like that.

she can't help feeling like that but it doesn't help when your off flirting with other girls and dancing closely with them. if you want her then you have to know when what you do is crossing the line. and NOT do it.

think about what she's gone through before. why would you want to put her through that again when you know how much she loves you?

[Stark1]

Honestly I won't like my boyfriend doing whatever you did. And if I love him.. damn sure I will feel bad. It takes a troll when trust is broken. Some things require time. Give her time to forget and get over it. With time we remember good part. If your relationship had other good things.. she sure will think about it. She will compare every thing.. with this new guy. Have confidence. If you have treated her right. She will surely come back. Sometimes we need to face the world to see the good in whatever we had. But please don't do this if you are seriously in to, not just dating casually. It matters to girls... it hurts seeing our loved ones with someone else. Goodluck!

[rallz93]

Just tell her that you love her and miss her like crazy ...also that you were drunk and didn't realize what you were doing :)

And think of something more special than flowers and saying sorry ..

(You could like fake kidnap her and take her to a picnic with candles and a romantic view ,her favorite food )

Is there anything that she would loved you to do it ,but you never did ,because of some things ..do it now !

And no more drinking ! If there's a problem with drinking then do something ...if drinking is not a problem just ask her if this happened again ...and blame the drink :)

[Asker]

Ive told her loads and she said she loved me too but was too hurt to go back and could never trust me again. I've stopped drinking also and told her this! Its hard having to work with her. Especially with rumours she is seeing another guy already. She is so stubborna dn I don't want to push her away completely. We have a really close mutual friend who is meeting her for a chat tomorow and said he will tell me anything I need to no. Maybe she is still hurt 4 weeks on and needs time and space?

[jefferson]

no no no, she wanted to leave you, and this is convenient. tell her one time sincerely that you made a mistake and your sorry, then never make first contact till she does. If she's just upset and calms down and still is interested she will call. Girls will fight another girl over the guy they like, if you were dancing with another girl, she would show you more affection, no she's doing the opposite because this is an easy out, and the more poetry music, love letters, flowers, promises, you give her, the more your vindicating her decision. wake up, don't take her nonsense, if she liked you she would say, I like you don't do that again I don't like it. not I don't think I can ever see you again because you danced with a girl. Ladies tell me I'm right.

[rallz93]

Ask her if she wants to hang out with you ...just as friends ..:)

Maybe you should start slow :)

Or tell your common friend to tell her to understand the situation from your point of view ...

like what if it was her who drank and had trust issues ..maybe this works ...

[iXenomorph]

Dude you cried and begged? You made yourself worthless in her eyes! Of course she'll turn you down. Ugh!

[kingsouth]

don't take it so seriously if she is willing to give up that easily she doesn't deserve you! It's time for you to move on since she wasted no time.

[Anonymous]

looks like there is not sorry :/