I'm going crazy I miss my ex and want her back but don't know how to get her back. What do I do?

[Anonymous]

Well the whole situation was weird when we started but I think we really fell in love with each other. I don't know but I really felt her being in love and I fell in love with her to. But she got scared or something and went back to her ex boyfriend. But then a couple of months later she came back because she said she couldn't be without me and she wanted to be with me so she left her boyfriend and we were together for a couple of days and then she got scared again of something. We haven't talked since because she went back to her ex boyfriend and anytime I've tried to talk to her she's avoided me or started screaming at me to leave her alone. I know she's really angry at me because when she left me she really hurt me a lot. She was trying to hurt me really bad and I responded because I was hurt with trying to hurt her back and I'm usually really good with hurting somebody I want to so I know I hurt her and she must be angry. She deleted me of her FB and blocked me everywhere else. I haven't tried to reach out to her because I don't know if I should but lately I've been missing her so much that it's becoming unbearable and I have a feeling that she might be missing me maybe even a lot. But I don't know what to do. I've been writing her a letter but I haven't sent it yet because I'm scared it might do more damage than good.
It feels like I'm lost without her and I can honestly say she was the best thing that happened to me and I was really happy when I was with her and it felt like she was too.
I don't know what to do to get her back into my life.

What can I do? Do I just leave things and see if she comes back on her one or what. I can't seem to move on no matter how much I try.

Updates

+1 y

Ok weird development. Yesterday I saw her with her boyfriend when I was rollerskating and then 1/2 an hour later she went skating and passed the place we hang out twice in 2 minutes. And then she showed up today and then left.

[TheStaff_Sergeant]

Friend, whether you successfully win her back or not, she obviously has feelings for two guys. And so it is, no matter how the situation is wrapped or presented, you are basically her second option. This girl, your one, left you to be with her ex. In case you didn't hear me, I'll repeat myself, she left you... to... be... with... her ex..

And, oh, the first time you took her back after she left you for him, she lost a considerable amount of respect for you. As a result, she left you a second time. You know it, and I know it. Why then, after rationally considering your options, would you accept her back, and more importantly, want her back?

Okay, I know, she checked all the boxes. She was enjoyable and fun to with and all that jazz. She showered you with affection and made you feel like the king. I get that. But still, that's before she ran off. You need to, no, you must, recognize that her abnormal emotional and behavioral patterns are symptomatic of much of much larger issues. She is simply not the person you thought.

Now, to address your question, "What do I do?" That depends, do you want to risk being hurt, many times over? Or, do you want to be with her even though she'll have recurring thoughts of him and being with him while she is with?

My solution is, face your sorrow. Do not run from it, by taking her back and accepting her garbage. Go through the pain and the bouts of missing her, until one day, they are simply no longer. Otherwise, again, she will not respect you fully. And, unfortunately, you will likely never fully trust her.

[KandleGuii2]

I'm Going To Give You My Unlicensed Professional Opinion, You Dont Want A Girl Like That In Your Life Flip Flopping Back & Forh Between Guys, The Only Reason You Want Her Back Is Because Your Feelings Are Getting The Best Of You, Set Your Emotions Aside & Come To The Realization That This Girl isn't Right For You, Cut All Contact Even If She Tries & Comes Back, It's For The Best, Let Your Feelings Settle...

[Asker]

We have cut all contact. We haven't spoken or seen each other in months. I've tried setting my emotions aside but somehow I just can't forget about her. About how I felt when I was with her. Yes in a way I understand it would be best just to sweep everything under the rug because of what happened. But on the other hand I've never felt that good with someone before and deep down I have a feeling that it's not over and it shouldn't have ended like it did.

[Paris13]

Just because two people Break up, doesn't mean they can't Make up, and end up either being friends with benefits or--------It just didn't pan out, for it was a good last run, but now, doesn't seem it will be anything but 'Having got again your walking papers.' This is your case here, sweetie. And right now, you feel as though someone kicked your heart in this ditch.
She became in this problem pattern back and forth between you and another, and Now----She has deleted and blocked you from her life. And it's Obvious, although 'angry as hell' at you, she is trying to move on.
Yes, find your closure. Go ahead with your 'Letter,' for I believe, even if you would fail with it, it would be at least your One last attempt to win her back. However, no more contact. Wait for awhile, give her One last chance to do some soul searching and see how she feels with what you have poured your heart with.
However, even if she returned, i don't believe she would change. I believe she would most likely get back into her 'Problem pattern' again, giving you grief, heartaches and much more, leaving your poor broken heart Once more----On the side of the curb.
Good luck. xx

[Asker]

I haven't posted the letter yet because some really weird stuff has started happening and I don't exactly know how I feel about it or what to do exactly.

[Paris13]

I saw your updates with----I saw her with her boyfriend... And unless she comes to you with something different, she is taken... However, still would be in this pattern, I feel... However, you said 'some really weird stuff has started happening...'I can only guess that she has tried to contact you now? Or giving hints again she may? xx

[Asker]

She told me to f*** off the last time I tried to talk to her and that was a couple of months ago. I don't know why she showed up there yesterday but it made me feel really uncomfortable because I couldn't be relaxed anymore. I don't knows if she's giving hints for something all I know is I feel like crap again and if she keeps showing up there well be one less place I can go and hang out with even less people. If she wants to talk why the heck doesn't she call me or something. I mean yes I'd love to see her if she misses me and wanted to reconcile or something but if she's just there just because she's a little board then I don't want anything to do with her that's how much she hurt me!

[Asker]

By the way I saw her again today she lives near where I do some volunteering and I haven't seen her in months accidentally now in a span of a few days I keep ruing into her and do stupid stuff to try and avoid her so that she wouldn't say that I was stalking her or something. I'm so angry.

[Paris13]

Yes, I do not blame u for being hurt and angry... Try to stay clear, she has this guy and only is preventing you from trying to move on... xx

[Skyemae]

It's so tough right after a breakup because it doesn't matter how bad the relationship was because you're hurting and want to stop the hurt by getting them back. I'm feeling the exact same way right now, so I get it completely. You really need to accept that the relationship is over and try to move on though. It's so much easier to try not dealing with it by attempting to get them back or hoping they'll come back, but it really only delays the healing process. Focus on YOU and your own well-being. Give it a couple of weeks, look back at this very post and recognize the faults in the relationship and why you're much better off without someone who didn't treat you very well. You can't see it like that right now because you're too emotionally invested, and that's okay. Once you have some time to calm down and heal a bit, you'll be able to gain a new perspective on the situation. If you still want her back at that point, that's your decision, but at least you'll have made it with a clearer mind instead of just trying to grab onto whatever is left right now.

[Asker]

Thanks. I know most of it sucks when you look at it from the outside but after a couple of months and after trying to get over her I still can't I miss her and yes I'd still like to get her back. I know all the down sides and I know that I deserved to be treated better and I could have treated her better and I know we got of to a rocky start but it was the best most pleasant feelings I've ever shared with someone and it ended prematurely. But I don't know how to make it happen again. I have the impression and feeling she misses me because of a couple of things I've heard and seen and because I know her. But there's no way to be sure and I know she must still be a little angry at me but I just don't know how to get close to her without freaking her out. Or how I could arrange for her to come my way or at least show me that the door is open.

[Skyemae]

It's definitely a difficult process and it usually takes quite awhile to completely heal from a breakup and move on from the person. If it's been months and you still would like to contact her and you have the feeling she misses you and may be open to contact, send her a text or a Facebook message asking if she'd be interested in catching up. Keep it casual and light so she doesn't feel pressured or hesitant and she what she says. If she agrees then that's a great start. If not, then at least you know and you can continue trying to move forward with your life.

Part of the difficulty in getting over her is because you have the impression she is still interested in you. Breakups are hard enough on their own, but trying to move on from someone when they still have feelings for you creates countless 'What if' scenarios. Asking her to catch up casually will bring you closure in one way or another.

[sayss101]

Dont give up hope. It sounds like you both were in love with each other, maybe something happend back then I dont think she ment to hurt you.

[Anonymous]

I am getting the feeling that u are jst the rebound ( sorry it sounds harsh) cos she comes to u but he's always the one she goes back to. She probably wants to keep you interested so that when things dnt work out with him, u are the back up plan. I may be wrong but u can't jst move between guys like that. Just move on, u are being used.

[Asker]

I don't think I was the rebound because after we meat for the first time she was still with him and in fact this is horrible but the first time we were together she cheated on him. But I felt her having feelings from me from the beginning but she only told me that she had fallen in love with me after four months and I knew I could feel everything. That's why I was so shook up when she left and then again when she came back. I know she has issuers herself and that whatever they have is just friendship trying to be more than that because I remember it from my long term relationship in the end and I know it's tough breaking up with somebody you've been with for years but we were dating but not official for 8 months and I don't know whether she showed me or I just felt it but I think she was really in love with me but because of her issues got scared of something. I don't know.
I don't know what to do.

[Opinion Owner]

I am sorry that u going through what u going through. U guys need to talk so that u knw where u stand with each other.

[Asker]

I tried a couple of times. The last time we meat on a crosswalk and just stared after a few minutes I turned around and wanted to talk to her but she blew me off and I tried again but she just walked away from me and a friend told me that she was writing crap about me on her FB witch I can't see anyway since she delete me a couple of weeks prior. So I don't know how I could talk to her because I don't know how to get in touch with her in a way that she won't refuse me straight out.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe its best for u to cut ur losses and move on. Strongs

[coop5]

I would just move on for now. You two can talk about things in the future when the negative emotions have subsided. Don't do anything else to antagonize her, if you want to ever speak to her again. When dealing with women like this, you do NOT tolerate this bullshit of going back to an ex when things get rough, that's bullshit. I've been in your shoes before, just ignore her and deal with your emotions before speaking to her again. Let her realize, her being co-dependent is anything but attractive and acceptable.

[quirkybear47]

I'd just leave her alone. You don't want someone who goes back and forth between to guys. She may have used you as a rebound for every time her and her boyfriend fight. Now they might be fighting about you being in her life, so she is trying to end it. Find someone who is worth your time and effort.

[Beau9876]

I hate to throw this out but it works for some reason..

You send "hey bitch" in a text.

She's texts back fuck you or something retarded

You text back "I'm just being playful. Be playful back"

Works every time. Don't know why. Last time she didn't respond until 1 am and said I think we should hang out soon.

[Asker]

Sounds like something I'd try once but in this case I don't have the guts to do it because I have a feeling it would backfire.

[Pearlangel]

any guy who did that, i'd walk away regardless of how much we liked each other -_- its disrespectful.

[pips1]

give her time ask to meet her for coffee then move on

[Asker]

I've tried talking to her once when we meat accidentally went each others way without even saying hi but I turned around and asked her to talk but she just told me to bug off and went on the bus so I drove to her house and waited for her but she just took out her ear phones nodded but didn't say anything. She looked like she was about to cry but she ignored me and walked into her house.
I don't know how to contact her without it being to invasive or without her rejecting me just straight out. I can't seem to move on. I've tried.

[pips1]

send her the letter then leave her be you have to if that is what she wants and just try being on your own and then dating again

[Asker]

Yes thank you that's what I'm attempting to do but I'm afraid that it might make things worse that I might make her even more angry or piss her off or something.
I'm trying to be by myself I still miss her because I can't believe that she just ditched me like that after showing me how much she loved me.
I've tried dating but it's useless because either I don't have any feelings for the women and don't want to lead them on or it just doesn't happen. Besides I have a real problem now with opening up to people and don't trust anybody. Some days I can't even get out of bed even though I haven't slept in months. I can't concentrate or do anything and I just can't seem to stay in a good mood. I know how I felt when I was with her and can't come to terms with what happened because I don't understand it.

[Anonymous]

My girlfriend and I broke up Because I lied about smoking weed and I have quit and I got upset about her looking at other guys which I know was crazy and I shouldn't have. And I guess I really needed her more then she needed me. So I feel that made her look some attraction towards me. I also begged for her back and it's been about two weeks since we've broke up and I have since then been baptized and got a job. I don't know what to do now? I just know that I need her in my life. She was my best friend and knows everything about me. I miss her and I can't live without her. What do I do?