Ex wants me back after I finally gave up and moved on?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I were together for almost 4 years. I truly and deeply loved him and thought we would spend the rest if our lives together. Things got rough and we thought a lot. Neither one of us was happy anymore. So he broke up with me. But convinced me to stay friends.

I tried to move on but couldn't. So I told him I wanted him back. He was hesitant and when we met up told me he broke up with me because of his depression. And that he didn't feel ready to get back together. I told him I would wait for him and he told me not to.

So later I asked him if he had just been letting me down gently. He said he was confused. That we had had do many fights and that when we were in a long distance relationship that had tempted him to cheat. Since he was moving away again he was worried he would again be tempted to do something he might regret. After that I gave up on us and decided to just move on.

I met a guy I had a great connection with and we have been dating. He is a great guy. Certain things about him irk me, but I can see something maybe developing out of it.

Yesterday my ex came over for drinks in the city sand he stayed at my place. We were pretty drunk and he kissed me. I stopped him before things got to passionate and told him I didn't want a fling. We fell askers in each others arms. And the next morning we cuddled. He seemed really confused. And then he asked me if I was willing to start all over again and start off by dating. I told him I was confused myself. Again things got more heated and I stopped him.

I'm really really confused. I feel terrible and don't know what to do. Please help me.

[Hazelgal]

How long ago did you break up? And have you guys talked since you hung out? I'm going through a very similar situation , my man ended things because of a depression and he was confused so moved out and said he needed time to think . I'm still hopeful, but he's dated a girl and shiy . So he's moved on . But I always picture that scenario if he ever came back . Isn't the trust just gone? How do you know they won't leave again? Well . My advice is to let him chase you . Let him know you won't put up with that . Because it can happen again . If it is depression , has the main issue been fixed? Let me know , I'm interested .

[Yriuqni]

If you were able to start dating this guy without thinking about your ex at all .. then you most probably don't even really love him anymore , so I suggest moving on. I was in the same boat , and I started dating , but I couldn't get my boyfriend out of my mind .. so eventually we got back together.. don't be fooled by the fact that he came back and all that .. if he gave up on you before, he may do it again .. so if you truly moved on , then continue , don't get back with him :)

[tetewaki]

seriously? you're confused. Sure you stopped him from kissing you but you still cuddled him!

-Yesterday my ex came over for drinks in the city sand he stayed at my place. We were pretty drunk and he kissed me. I stopped him before things got to passionate and told him I didn't want a fling. We fell askers in each others arms. And the next morning we cuddled. He seemed really confused. And then he asked me if I was willing to start all over again and start off by dating. I told him I was confused myself. Again things got more heated and I stopped him. -

you may have stopped him but you cuddled twice and slept beside him... do you really think your new man will approve of that? sure you may sit him down but he may still feel betrayed and leave as even iof you didn't have sex with your ex you still cuddled him and slept beside him. that is still a form on intimacy and cheating. you cheated on him

[tetewaki]

and if you had truly moved on... you never would have slept beside the ex or cuddles him... so saying you're confused is pointless. If i was said man I would have left you.
Who gets confused after 4 years... i was wioth my ex girlfriend at the time for 11 years and i knew i wasn't confused when she wanted me back. I said no that she was right that were totally different people. YOu should have asked your man for advice before meeting up with your ex

[tetewaki]

because if you truly hit it off with your new boyfriend then you know you can trust him... which i dont think he can do for you. Unless you told him after this whole incident.
you chose to drink with your ex and cuddle him. You said the two of you got drunk... so how do you know how it went down? FOr all we know the two of you had sex and your to embaressed to tell your current boyfriend. I mean 4 years is a long time...

[redheadgirl]

When they come back they have control walk away it could end and then you would loose the new guy too you will end up hurt.

[tetewaki]

honestly i thinjk she's to guilty to admit she cheated. THey were piss drunk so how would she know what went down. they still cuddled and slept beside on another... i think she's trying to save face. If she truly cared for the new boyfriend she would have told him

[Justletgo]

You don't really explain what you want answered. But it's pretty clear you still have feelings for your ex though.

Your ex seems serious, because he said 'start by dating all over again'. That's a pretty wise choice of restarting if any.

But yea ofcourse he might leave you again, but then again so will any other partner.

[tetewaki]

honestly i think they had sex and she's to guilty to say anything... i means it was a 4 year relationship...