Why didn't your last relationship work out?

How long were you together for? Thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I realised that all of our disagreements stemmed from one simple thing - she always assumed the worst about me, and never once gave me the benefit of the doubt.

    That was a hell of an eye opener, once I realised it.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • He had mental issues. And a drinking problem. Turns out he was also on probation for drug offences. Most people probably think he was some 'hot bad boy'. Uh no. Not at all. He was your typical nice guy and nerdy (which I Iike). He was fairly cute but nothing extreme. Not ripped or anything like that. If you met him you wouldn't think he was anything BUT a nice guy. He seemed really sweet. He was funny. He was also divorced and would tell people about his ex. Everyone felt sorry for him because she seemed awful. But then I noticed how his stories always changed when it was just him and me instead of a crowd. I would tell him "Wait you said she did THIS not THAT" and he would be all "Oh I did? Hmm. I don't remember... No no she didn't do that" He would totally exagerate and make the story way more dramatic when telling it to a group (he was into acting as well so he's good at that stuff). Then I ended up talking to some of their mutual friends and they all told me HE was the crazy one, NOT her. That he did all this bad crap during their marraige.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 51

  • It lasted two years. I was in love with her but she was not in love with me. I broke up because I want to be with someone who loves me.

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  • I have never been in a relationship before but I am not trying to brag but I would say potentially at least 6-8 girls were potential girls I could have been with but it never panned out that and I think it's a combination of both things, she was immature and I was immature.

    When I was younger it was the classic case of - Girl wants to date a bad boy, I was the nice guy, got pushed aside. Then I tried to reinvent myself, talk to more girls, be confident but don't bend backwards for them and it worked, more girls showed subtle clues that they liked me but I never took the hint, they got frustrated and moved on, by the time I started gaining more confidence and learning from my mistakes and going after these girls they basically said "I took too long".

    Now that I learned from my mistakes that a relationship or even if you are dating is not a 1-sided affair, it involves communication, physical attraction, personality, don't get so worked up over little pointless arguments, think your arguments through (i. e - if you're mad at someone, don't just lash out at them, give it a day or 2 so you can calm down) those were things I have learned and I think it's made me a better person.

    I take life more seriously in a religious aspect with God, with grad school, with trying to understand the other person and apologize if I upset them in any way and rectify those mistakes. Humans are not perfect but we should try to learn from those mistakes in order to become better individuals.

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    • I honestly wish my ex thought like this. He got mad when I tried to talk about the problems in our relationship and hung up on me or stop replying to my texts. I in no way was trying to argue it was just a communication thing and he totally shut me out which really fucked with my emotions..

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    • @Lilbbg Thanks, same to you, finding someone is not easy. I thought dating apps would work but I am not a fan of dating apps.

    • Dating apps aren't genuine enough. Try to find someone organically. It'll happen if it's meant to.

  • we were together about 6 or 7 months. i broke up with her because i felt we had very different maturity levels

    side note: a week later i met the girl who'd become my wife

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  • 2 Years. She said her feelings changed, she needs a break, "its not you, its me"

    1 Week later her feelings did change, she didn't need a break, she was already with her next boyfriend.

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    • "2 Years. She said her feelings changed, she needs a break, "its not you, its me"

      It seems like it's standard on all relationships. LOL

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    • My last one after 1 year was "idk what who i am... i need to find myself" i said "okay so go find yourself without me" (of course she wanted that). And i and a week later I found myself laughing at such cynicism.

      "The problem it's me not you" it's a Classic too... to common, but we need to move on and don't look back.

    • @didigo182

      Thats exactly what I did, I said "I am doing fine thank you, what do you wish to achieve by getting in contact with me now?" Her miserable reply to that was "didn't watch to achieve anything, just wanted to see how you are thats all" ... I guess she realised she wasn't gonna go far with me or just wanted to test the waters ;D

  • It had been 2 years of infatuation when we realized that we were not meant for each other. I had found my career, she was floundering about in college, going back and forth between majors. I wanted sex and eventually a family, she wanted to wait until marriage, but she didn't want to get hitched for another 2-4 years. Despite her petite frame, she had bad eating habits that wreaked havoc on her body: she even went to the hospital with malnourishment: she only ate pizza, burgers, and fries, and never any veggies.

    In the end, there was too much that separated us.

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  • My relationship with my hand started when I was 12, and is still going strong. I've never even once cheated on my hand. Girls find me extremely undesirable, so I think my hand and I will be together forever.

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  • It wasn't a relationship. It was 8 years ago but she slept with at the time my best friend and sucked him off, etc. They kept it a secret from me for awhile then it blew up at school. I was a fool. O don't talk to either anymore, not cause of a grudge but it's been almost a decade lol. I'm cool

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  • 12yrs and 7 of that we were married.

    It didn't workout because after she had a baby (ours) her hormones went all screwy and suddenly it was like a "I don't like my husband anymore" light switch.
    That being said after a few months everything about me from my walk to the sound of my voice annoyed her until we broke up.

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  • She was more interested in spending my money, and figured dangling sex as happening soon (but not yet) would keep working.

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  • She passed after 12 years. I'm re-married now. Only 4 altogether and two were marriages since I was 18 . The first two were long lasting relationships which eventually just didn't work out in the long run. All the women tho , were very nice and usually pleasant to be around.

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  • She was trying to take advantage of me, of course I was too smart for her to have any success and I was very satisfied when I dumped her

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  • She abused me.

    She didn't care about me.

    She didn't put in much effort and appreciation.

    i Leave her.

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  • My last relationship didn't really work out because it didn't exist !

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  • My ex was extrordinarily violent to me, to such an extent that it landed me in the hospital. I ended it after that.

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  • Because I was to niceπŸ˜‚

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  • 13 days (it was semi long distance) she ended it because she couldn't deal with distance

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  • It was a long distance relationship...

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  • my relationship don't work out because i do

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  • She went back to Japan and was here on a 12 month study visa. Must of been with her 6-7 month's.

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  • I am not Lenny Kravitz.

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  • I took an overseas job instead of staying with her.

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  • 4 years. We grew apart

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  • almost a year, we wanted different things in life.

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  • Her friends and family didn't like me. We were together about 7 months.

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    • Why didn't they like you?

    • Her friends and family were really religious and we slept together a lot and thought we were having a baby, so she told them. Big mistake! They grilled her non stop about my being a bad influence. So that was that.

  • Almost two years. Reason: my guess would be cause of lack of physical tension.

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  • 1.5 years. She wanted more than I could ever give her (materiall) wise.

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  • Never had the chance to be in one

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  • Because it is non existent...

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  • I was the rebound guy.

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  • She was a bigger alcoholic than I was.

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What Girls Said 58

  • 3 years.. It was rather long distance he lived in North Carolina, he came up to see me a few months after we had first met online... I got this random weird warm sensational feeling about him like he was the one... So before I had met him in person I had asked him to marry me.. Of course... LOL.. So the 2nd time he was about to come up and "move" he apparently lied at the boarder crossing my mom never believed him but I know what happened. Anywho so he used that excuse he found someone down in Texas I think he paid for her to come to NC and move in with him.. Those two don't work out so he takes me back and willingly I accept. Stuff happens he wanted just phones - - after that and we just grew apart. Then his blackmailing me started and that was the end of it.

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  • We were together just under a year.

    I moved home because I was finished with school. I didn't want to stay in his province. He couldn't legally work in mine without going back to school himself. Neither of us wanted to do the long distance thing. He's a good noodle. I hope he finds a nice girl/mom for his cat.

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  • He decided to believe someone who was known for lying over me. We were together for 7 months ish. Before him i was with a guy for a week and a bit but he left me to go back to his abusive ex. Before that was my first boyfriend, we were together for 4 years, he left me because he met someone else and wanted to be with her

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  • He moved abroad for work and school. He felt that we were both young and he really wanted to accomplish himself as a person; he felt that being in a relationship had made him feel so comfortable that it hindered his drive to explore the options of who he could become. It sucked as I had really wished we could have grown together as individuals, but distance was also a factor in making things not work out. We were together for 2 years and 4 months.

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  • 2 months. Turns out he only dated me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings by rejecting me since I liked him. πŸ™„

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  • Last one before my current relationship only lasted a few months. Broke up because he clearly did not like who I was as a person and kept trying to change me and was always judging me for stupid shit. Didn't take long before I'd had enough and called it quits.

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  • He used me knowing I was completely inexperienced at the time. Once he realised I actually wanted to do proper things that people do together in relationships, he completely cut himself off, despite telling me he loved me throughout the whole charade.

    He continued trying to use me for his own gratification after he'd ended it, telling me that he wasn't ready for a relationship "right now" but that I could wait for him. Looking back now, obviously that was just to keep me around. And me being a naive idiot I let it happen because I didn't know what a first class mug I was being taken for.

    But, it doesn't matter now. It broke me down and I felt shitty for a long time, but I moved on some time ago and now I'm in a much better relationship with a much better looking and nicer boy. Unlike the last, this relationship isn't one sided and he's shown to me many times how much he cares about me, not like the last one.

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    • Holy shit this same thing literally just happened to me not even two months ago, and we're the same age (my age is wrong on here).. Guys at this age are shitty, huh? My guy was 20 now 21 but acted like a child

    • @Burnette01 yeah, my ex acted like a child too. And he was also in his early twenties, age of consent over here is 16 so it was legal, but looking at it now I can understand, what a fucking creepy self-centred loser to do that to a 16 year old girl who had never had a boyfriend! Knowing he was completely head fucking me and breaking my heart, lying that he loved me just so he could get what he wanted whilst telling his friends that he had no interest.

      Ugh!! It still makes me feel a twinge of anger. But it makes me laugh because the girl I heard he's with now honestly has a face like a dropped pie, so πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ
      But yeah, guys at this age really can be shitty, but not all of them. I now have a great boyfriend who've I've been with for a year and he's 23, there's not a scrap of evil user qualities in him, he's on another level to my ex 😊

      So don't worry, there's plenty more out there. But be cautious next time, because now we know that some "men" can be real manipulative assholes

    • Yes this is definitely one of those things that I wish didn't happen to me but if it didn't happen now then it could've happened later, and now we both know what to watch out for in guys. These are just learning lessons in life to make us stronger

  • Lasted bout three years. Last year was long distance due to different nationalities and career options in different countries/continents. None of us was willing to sacrifice career to move to another country. We thought it will be best for us to part ways rather than trying and be unhappy about the distance, and financial burden of it. We knew we both put a lot of importance in career, none of us would be happy with the sacrifice, specifically I was expected to move to Germany as I am the woman and my career is somewhat less important in society's eyes. You know what I mean?

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  • He said we didn't spend enough time together, but he was on a date with someone else 1 hour after he told me.. Lasted roughly 4 months

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  • It didn't work out because we had fundamentally different needs. I needed more space and alone time, she wanted to be together all the time. In the end, the relationship ended up exhausting and unfulfilling for us both. After a year we just decided to end it.

    There were a few tears when we broke up, but all in all it was a bit of a relief. We're still amiable.

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  • He didn't have any drive, career-wise. He was older than me and dropped out of college. I thought I could look past it but I couldn't.

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  • Because he moved away, and never made any effort to reach out to me and communicate like he promised. I was putting in all of the effort by calling him once a week, no answer. He then suddenly had a girlfriend when we talked about 3 months later (after the breakup)

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  • 7 months. He was a good guy but sadly I wasn't in love with him. It was very difficult for me to break up :(

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  • 5 and a half years.

    Turns out he was a lying, cheating paeophile!

    Not sure how this is helping your life.

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  • It was a really short relationship. Like two days. We ended it because it was rushed.

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  • Because he never actually asked me out. We were friends for two years but in high school I was too timid to ask anyone out

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  • Mine lasted 8 years. Our relationship was affected by his irresponsible spending and huge income-to-debt ratio. The more he made, the more he spent. We were in our early 20s; he was a network comm engineer and I was finishing up college. He was making bank at a young age with no college degree--he was a genius but lack financial sense. We invested in a cute small house, but instead of updating it, he purchased a motorcycle, truck, went through various vehicles (sold them with a loss), a boat, random toys here and there all within 8 years of our relationship and I got fed up with the late bills that I couldn't keep up to pay myself. The honeymoon we put off after we did work on our house never happened. I left him. Took me 7 years to get out of the debt I had with him all while trying to pay off my own loans. Finally, it's done.

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  • I was 14 and it lasted 3 days because the boy dated me out of pity and then told everyone we weren't dating. Nearly 10 years later, he still avoids me.

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  • I was with my first so called boyfriend for 1 full month but I had to break up with him cuz he called me names just because I was spending time together with my siblings they are younger then me
    And he also played with my feelings
    And etc

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  • He's emotionally stunted and liar.

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  • I didn't appreciate being cheated on. πŸ˜‚

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    • Oops, forgot to say how long.. We were together for almost 2 years.

  • We were together for a few months off and on and he decided we were "on totally different wavelengths" as he put it.

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  • We were only together for a few weeks but I absolutely adored him. The issue was both of our mental states. I was really insecure that he didn't actually like me and he never reassured me or tried to prove it and it really messed me up. He dumped and told me he needed to fix himself so he could commit 100%. He acted like we were still kind of together while talking to other girls and such and then I told him to get fucked because he stressed so much about me not being loyal (I've never even had a proper boyfriend until him!!). After he dumped me we did things together I had never done with anyone else and then I found out he was totally fucking with me. I was sick of having a one sided relationship, I don't want to be treated like shit all the time and then expected to treat him well.

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  • We were together 5 months but was so close.
    He was insecure and He cheated on me with a girl he claimed was his friend
    I forgave him because he didn't do anything but kiss and it's when he just met me
    He done it again but technically we weren't together but he claimed he wasn't seeing any of girls but he was I went through his phone and he had a few nudes ext

    After this the relationship died
    I went out with other guys and he couldn't handle it
    It just wasn't the same I hated him and what he did the
    I use to insult him a lot or try dominate him

    And eventually we blocked eachothers and don't talk


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  • I was too good for him.

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    • @rocksongwriter He was selfish and horrible at it.

    • Horrible at it because he was selfish, I assume.

  • I had too many issues in other departments of my life. Had to deal with my bpd mother and was really insecure. After we broke up i tried fixing things with him too hard and that eventually destroyed any chances of a possible reconcilation...

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  • I was his rebound but thankfully he was mine too. We where together for about 5 months. He thought I loved him and contacted me a few years ago to apologise which I thought was nice. Thankfully he didn't cause me any pain nor I him.

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  • I wouldn't consider it a relationship. But it lasted for about like 4 months. It wasn't bad, we just grew apart. We both had shit going on in our own lives. So I had to broke it off so I could focus on my own shit.

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  • He wanted to sleep with other people... I didn't.

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  • Almost 6-8 months. Lack of Communication.

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