Why did my boyfriend leave me after abortion?

Hi, I got pregnant, and had to do an abortion because of medical problems and also my boyfriend didn't wanted to be a father. He told me he wasn't prepared. But because of having so much problems because of my health and a father that didn't wanted the baby, we took the hard decision of having an abortion, also I already was having signs of miscarriage. Before the abortion my boyfriend told me he will be supportive and will be there for me, and that we where going to keep sharing in our relationship after several days of my abortion, my boyfriend call me rarely, 2 days past and he didn't call me or answer me,then he called, and told me he was having a lot of problems, I told him that I understand him, but I needed the directions to my visit to the doctor to see if I was doing OK. I told him I will call him next day and he threw me a kiss and said it was OK. Then I called him, he yell at me what do you want and hang up the phone. The I text him, that I needed the directions, he send me the direction by text. He also send me a text telling me we should not see each other again,That he was sorry for the things that we went. I called him, but he send me another message telling me not to write him or call him, because he was not going to read or answer, and if I did I was going to loose my time. I feel so bad, I saw him online the 2 next day, I was offline, he had me blocked but he the unblocked me, but I was offline in the messenger. I needed to express him how he let me feel and think about him, so I send him a e-mail, telling him that he was a coward and a liar, that he promised me he was going to keep sharing with me and be supportive, and he did not. That he was hiding behind his cellular sending me those cruel message. But also, I told him that I wished him the best on life, because I really did everything to keep sharing with him after all we went and all his promises. I needed to write to him, because I needed to express my feelings. I told him that he hurt me, because I didn't do anything to him to deserve the way he treated me, knowing of my situation. After that e mail, he just deleted me from his profile on messenger and went offline. I feel so bad, I don't know if I did wrong on sending him that email? But I think I didn't deserve the way he treated me. I need some advice of what do you think of these situation, thanks..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I had a very similar situation as far as my girlfriend having an abortion for medical reasons however she didn't tell me until the procedure was over, she told me over the phone. I had never been happier than when she told me she was pregnant even so I would have supported her decision because of her medical state. I was so p*ssed about how everything went down but I didn't take it out on her. Our relationship only lasted another four months. You don't deserve this put it behind you as best you can and find someone that will treat you right. Take care

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What Guys Said 3

  • I have experienced an abortion. :(

    My woman didn't want the child, our relationship was just starting, and I immediately became attached to the baby.

    The day of the surgery, I was so stressed out that I passed out in the waiting room, although we had conversations of the situation, and I was in agreement of the abortion. something in me died too.

    I believe it also killed our relationship.

    Maybe it affected him more than he thought.

    I would talk to his mother, if I were you.

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    • Yes, maybe it affected him, if so, he could have talked to me in another way, if he really cared of me, he would said things in other way, not the way he did, yelling me, sending me those text and then deleting me, just because I wrote him how I felt. Your case is kind of different, you really wanted the baby, my ex, didn't wanted the baby, because he was not prepared and he will not raise him..it hurts the way he dump me and treated me..

  • I'm sorry. He has treated you badly. But the relationship is clearly finished and somehow you have to move on with your life.
    Don't wait for him to come back and even if he tried to I think you deserve better. Maybe use online dating to try and meet someone new? Or even meet new girl friends you can confide in?

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  • I'm sorry. I know I had nothing to do with it, but I'm sorry. No matter what the need, desire, or cause, or personal belief, the loss of a baby is a difficult and sad time. Undoubtably, the father is grieving. As are you.

    We all deal with grief differently... there's a good chance that the relationship is permanently damaged. However, if you want to work at it - and he wants to work at it - definitely look into counseling. Guided communication is necessary for both your sakes.

    If the relationship is, in fact, over, please consider counselling for yourself. This is difficult and you made a difficult choice. Now it is time to care for yourself.

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    • Yes, I am looking for counseling for myself, it obvious he doesn't what to know anything about me, he deleted me from all his profiles after that e-mail I send him, but he make me feel very bad the way he treated me, I didn't deserve it, no matter he was having problems, I also have the same..I thought after the email, that he will say sorry for hurting me the way he did and accepting he acted bad, buy he didn't. I feel sad, I lost a baby and was heartbroken at the same time.

    • Well, as much as it hurts, it definitely sounds like you're better off in the long run without him. I am sorry, though. Good for you for getting help!

What Girls Said 4

  • My boyfriend left me after my abortion, he didn't know how to handle my emotions anymore. This was three months ago. I still don't know what to do with myself. He left me at the WORST possible time; exams, coursework, abortion, illness...add on heartbreak and I could have finished myself off right there and then...

    I'm hoping it gets better, but right now I'm really not sure.

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    • Yes, he also left me in worst possible time, illness abortion, family problems, work problems...He just left me, without telling me any reason, just text sorry and not to call him again because I loose my time, he was very cruel, that is why I wrote him the email, that how I felt...i am going to counseling and I told my mom, to have the support of someone, because he was the only who knew about the situation..I am not sure, I still feel sad, and he just deleted me of his life,

    • It's so awful because HE should be the one who supports you the most at this point. I mean you aborted HIS child. It wasn't just you that went through it. I've been going to counselling for months, it's better some days than others. And now I might not be able to have children. Honestly, he could not have left at any worse time. I think the only way he could do that was to like kill of my cat...

  • What a jerk. If you say you're gonna do something, do it! I dislike people doing that. Good thing you didn't have his kid. Good riddance I say. Find someone that makes you happy. Karma will take care of him.

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  • Hi girl I had similar situation with u. I'm in Australia by myself, my boyfriend chance me, when we together , I ask him more than 10times, how about I pregnant? He promise we gonna keep the baby , be a family. So I trust him. When my mum come to here visit us, he said the same thing to my mum. But after a few months my mum go. I find out I pregnant , he don't want the baby. Then he promise me he will marry me and have more kids in next 2 years if I go to do abortion. Even he know I want keep the baby. We argue a lots on this, but I still want be with him, the thing he promise me are too beautiful. Then I did abortion. But he totally change at the second day after I did abortion. He want break up with me. Then The the third day he pack all my stuff when I not home (we live together) . And tell me to fuck off. Don't want talk to me, don't want see me.i even don't know where I can go. Body still feel bad. It just happen a few days ago. So I can understand the feeling. If he break up with me before I did abortion, I won't that sad. I want keep my baby. Only thing we can do, just be strong, love ourselves more.

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  • sometimes under pressure people's true colors come out, he's a jerk and your better off without him.

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