Hi i am from India.. My age is 25. Yesterday when me and him got into fight at first he start yelling at me.. and then he forcefully grab my hand.. we started fight about how important money is.. So i said money is important than anything. so he slap me in public 2 times... when i started to crying he said i should not provoke drama anymore. whenever we got into fight he always bring up my parents.. and verbally insult them.. he also warned me that he will end up my sister marriage.. This was the first time he hit me.. now he is constantly messages me and Calling me (which i blocked) to apologise. yes i do love him.. and that tears me apart.. so please advise me what should i do? should i believe in repair or i should move on?
Most Helpful Guy
Nothing is more important than self respect. Not money, not love, not your designation. If there is one thing that matters most in life in addition to happiness, it is self respect. And frankly if you do not have self respect, there is no way you can be happy in the first place, no matter how much money you make, what position you attain in life or whether you are with someone who claims to love you.
People often confuse communication for talking or making conversation, and this is the root cause of why many of these same people are so unsuccessful in communicating with their partners. Communication in relationships, at its core, is about connecting and using your verbal, written and physical skills to fulfill your partner’s needs.
Most people, use the threat of divorce for the sheer ‘shut-up’ factor. They know that when things aren’t going their way or that there is a problem looming; they can avoid confrontation and argument by simply saying they want a divorce. This works especially well if the person using the threat realizes that the spouse they are threatening will shrivel at the mere mention of the ‘D’ word. Suffice it to say, if threatening divorce works’ . and you always back down from your position or from the argument when the word is hailed, you have a part in teaching your partner this behavior. And no, this doesn’t make it any more right. It actually indicates that there is a major problem in your relationship that has much more to do with respect and compassion than it does the ‘issue’ at hand.
Most Helpful Girl
I know there are many cultural differences between India and the US, but his behaviors are some pretty serious red flags. Saying that you made hi, slap you is a manipulation called gas-lighting. He make it seem like you are the problem and takes no responsibility for his behavior.
I know leaving someone you love is extremely hard, but if possible I would end the engagement. People like this say sorry and act so sweet after the fact or when they are apologizing and yet the behavior will almost always happen again, often escalating. Once you are married and/or have kids it will be much harder to leave. When do you draw the line? Is it when he draws blood, breaks a bone, or hurts a future child?
Maybe one day he might make a tolerable partner, but for the near future he really need to be alone and work on his own issues.
Please remember that you deserve to be loved and respected. Don't settle for any less.1