My boyfriend and I have been together for a couple of years. We are both in our early 20s. We love each other a lot and were always very emotionally connected. That was a blessing and a curse because that was also the reason he broke up with me. I have depression and I get really dark mentalities sometimes for no reason. I get extremely sad or mad and because we are so emotionally connected, it brings him down as well and he gets depressed with me. It's not healthy but we love each other so much, I don't mean to do this to us. He's really good to me when things are good and I am stable and happy. He just has a hard time dealing with my depression because it rubs off on him. Then he finally broke up with me yesterday. He said he didn't want to be with me anymore after I got into another bad mood swing due to my depression and he said he couldn't handle it anymore but he still loved me a lot. Just the day before, he was telling me how he wants to start saving up for a ring right after we graduate and how he wanted our future to look like. Now less than 48 hours later, I'm crying my eyes out while he walks away from me. He even gave me the watch I gave him back to me, saying he didn't want it anymore. Do you think he truly means that? I still believe in us. I texted him earlier today and he responded. I will post a picture of what he said. But I am basically giving him a week to see how he feels without me. Is there a chance of me getting him back? Will he ever want to be with me again? I will get professional help for my depression.
My boyfriend broke up with me but we still love each other. Here is what he said later on-?
The only way for you to have a good relationship is to be ok with yourself, so work hard on yourself, get professional help and most important, put in your mind this idea that you can be a better person, you can forgive others and yourself, and you can trust again. That mindset is the path for your inner happiness, and being happy with yourself you will be ready for a relationship that will work, it might be with him, who knows.
While you are giving him time you really should help yourself. If you feel your depression is overtaking your life, you need to solve that first. Your own happiness is what's important. You can't truly make someone else happy if you aren't happy yourself.
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But what if he makes me happy? I know I should be making myself happy but he truly does make me so happy which is why I was with him for years through thick and thin. He was good to me. I just sometimes can't control my dark thoughts that randomly come up in my head and sometimes I vent it to him and it really upsets him.
You can't depend on one person to always make you happy. I've learned that the hard way. It wasn't until I went to therapy, started working out and began advancing my career that I realized I can create my own happiness. People around you can make you happy but it's just an illusion of happiness if you aren't truly happy on the in side. I can tell by the way you speak you are passionate and caring. Take some of that passion and help yourself become stronger. Heartache sucks but time mends broken hearts.
Thank you.. these dark thoughts come from a lot of hate and resentment from within me. People have wronged me in the past so I have grown to have trust issues and hate a lot of people. Sometimes I even have these thoughts about myself like how I wish I wasn't alive. It's my depression. Whenever I have these dark thoughts, I tell him because I trust him, but then it scares him away. So I end up hating myself even more because now I have no one. I need to seek a therapist and I know it. I plan on it. But I want him back so bad to help me through this.
Listen... We all have dark thoughts. Some of us more then others. I can tell you once you face this head on and be brave you will cherish the moment you overcome your dark thoughts. And you will overcome them. You just have to have faith and patience in yourself. I know what you are going through and I know how strong the feelings are. I'm not going lie and tell you it's going to be easy but sometimes you have to go through hell to get to heaven. I believe you will get there.
Seems like he has no idea how he is feeling as well. I think the best bet is to give him space. If you overwhelm him, you are just validating the reason for him saying that the problems are too much for him. Show him you can take care of yourself and you are working to address your dark thoughts.
Does this mean he has been losing feelings for me and falling out of love for a while now? It's just so surprising to me because before yesterday, we were doing really well. So happy. The way he looked at me and talked to me was always with so much excitement and joy. He was always excited to take me out on fun dates. Then this happened. It's just hard to believe he could go from loving me so much to not sure if he loves me at all in less than 24 hours
So should I just not contact him at all anymore and wait from him to contact me? We do this thing where we wait a week to see if we change our minds if we initiate a "breakup" so he told me he'd use this next week to decide...
The worst thing to do is force things. It's the mistake i made that i still regret. Whatever decision he comes to will not be made better by forcing it. So yes give him space. If that's what he needs then let him have it.
For your first question. Sometimes people shake things up in there life because they are feeling insecure about something in there life. Sometimes you can't control that and it feels awful but the only thing you can do is take care of yourself.
He doesn’t love you. He’s full of shit he wants out and is telling you a lie rather than just saying so. You will not reconcile and ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after nor will you remain friends even if he suggests or agrees to it. It’s over permanently and completely so get over it
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Ok, can you explain why to me so I can understand? So you're saying all this time he was with me, he wanted out? Then why did he seem so genuinely happy all the days before this?
No you’re just not compatible to him. Can’t win them all. Most relationships aren’t successful. If they were we’d all be married to the first we ever dated
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