My boyfriend doesn’t make me feel appreciated and gets mad when I bring it up, what should I do? (Page 2)
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Apparently this guy thinks taking you out, sex, and not being abusive should be enough for relationship. He obviously living in his own world. At this point, it doesn't sound like he cares that much for you. Your nice to have around but the girls on the internet seem to be what he truly wants. In that case, I think it's time to leave.
Oh dear, I just read the tinder bit. Until then I was going to suggest how to try and coax some dialogue out of him but... I think you might be wasting your time. I'm so sorry you're in a relationship that's so one sided. Communication is so important.
Loving someone is more than just going down on the person or buying them things, those are good things but if that represents love than no wonder our world is so fucked up, i honestly think you should find someone that sees the true meaning of love, since he doesn't wanna say it i will, you are beautiful, I don't know who you are but i can tell by the way you are, dont torture yourself with him, i honestly think you should find someone else, you won't regret it, he is toxic and you deserve to be with someone that would get you the attention you deserve, im always on here so if you need any help with anything dont hesitate, you'll be ok, move on to someone better
Knock it off with the social media crap. Who cares if he comments or likes stuff, or doesn't?
That being said, you do deserve affection, compliments, etc. If you don't know what the 5 love languages are, you should read up on them. It's obvious you and your boyfriend don't speak the same language.
Also, he is being borderline emotionally abusive by forcing a comparison between himself and your previous boyfriend. Just because he's not as bad as the other guy, doesn't mean he's doing good.
Going down on you during sex shouldn't get him and bonus points. That should be expected, anything less and he's just being an asshole.
This guy your dating clearly has no life beyond his phone and he doesn't see the damage its causing you and maybe even doesn't care. You are a beautiful woman and don't ever let him make you feel otherwise. Why do you think other guys hit on you even when your out with him. I'm sorry to say this but he probably has an addiction to social media and isn't willing to see that fact even when its brought up. It sucks for you cus you clearly are trying to make it work but it'll only work when he decides to change and you can't force that no matter what you say or do. If this relationship is causing you harm than the relationship is toxic. Get out of it and take care of yourself. You did your best and that's all anyone can ever ask of you. You're still young so dont be afraid to lose someone who's doing you wrong cus that's the only way you'll find the one that does right by you. Wish you the best in life.
He was a jerk from the beginning. He is cheating with other girls online and doesn't rven care that you see it cuz he knows you are still there. If you leave his ass he will get scared and beg u and act like the perfect boyfriend for only a while and then get back to being himself. Learn how to control the situation as he is trying to make u feel guilty for being upset.
That's emotional abuse.
Sounds like an asshole honestly, Im no doctor but Id say this sounds like emotional abuse, I wouldn't think it mattered as much if he treated evreryone like that, but just his girlfriend, well tbh to me it sounds like he dosent actually like you, but thats just my opinion
To me it sounds like he is no longer emotionally invested or never was to begin with. If he has to come up with reasons / examples of how he loves you when you don’t feel like he’s showing it in a way you both are comfortable with, he just trying to convince himself at that point. Every girl deserves someone who hypes them up and makes them feel like they are the best thing for the person they are with. I wish you luck!
You need to leave him point blank if he really cared for you he would show it period bottom line the best thing you can do is leave you should have a guy that makes you feel special if he don’t he ain’t for you. Him doing that he could also be cheating but that I don't know for a fact but him acting that way it wouldn’t be surprising
Simple
How does that answer her question.
It is not the answer but the road to the answer. She had to find the answer by herself.
Self realisation is best lesson that someone can be taught.
Well I mean he could have been a nice guy to begin with. There's really no way to tell
He was always like this though (except in the early stages when he was trying to win me over)
Why decide now that it's an issue?
Because he started to get like this around 2-3 months into the relationship. And it has been going on for a really long time. And i don’t know what else to do.
I'd at least try talking about it, and if that doesn't help, just move on. I don't think you're as happy with this guy anymore, and he sounds a bit like a fuckboi to me
Those types of guys with flirt with any moving person with a vagina
That it.
At the end you made the wrong choice and is putting on your shoulder unnecessary stress which will end up proving bad to you and ruin your whole young life.
you will invest time in something you do not know it works and just doing trial and error also at an age that is not the right time to do it as you are not fully mature and know how to decide and differentiate between a need and want, between a desire and deserve.
Honestly he doesn't seen like a very pleasing person to date. He simple, and I am sorry to say this, but he doesn't really seem that interested in you. Of course everything is your choice, but if I were you I would maybe ask myself if I wanted to continue this. He doesn't seem to act in a very mature way as I saw someone else mentioning as well. If you feeling bad about something he has done and it turns into an argument where he turns it around and onto you, he seem a manipulative which is far from a healthy thing in a relationship if you ask me. I hope you can use this for something
I think you already know you're better off without him but you came on here seeking validation for that. Cut your losses. Take it from me... i spent 2 years of my life chasing a guy who never appreciated me or even went out of his way to make time for me. And you know what? I waited and waited and tried and gave it many chances but it never worked out. Save yourself the time
He pisses me off, That's actually a real problem and you're not being over dramatic about it. Bring it up again have a real talk with him about it don't feel bad and be strong. after the talk you'll know if he's the one for you, if he even listens and doesn't run his mouth or go off.
Honestly in my opinion I see it not working out, lack of communication is a huge thing in a relationship, if he doesn't wanna talk about that simple thing.. what makes you think he's not hiding anything else? I'd say drop it if you can't break him.. it's not worth fighting for something if that something never changes you know?
Girl, its simple. If your boy doesn't respects you or beeing nice or saying "i love you", if he doesn't make you feel better for yourself or he is not making you feel like you are his princess. Than talk to him & if he doesn't seem that he understand, leave him. And never look back.
I think it's time that you move on and find someone better. As someone else mentioned on here, life is too short. There are also too many fish in the sea. Know your worth and that you deserve better. So, again leave him and find someone that will treat you well.
No shit he gets mad when you bring it up, your neediness is driving him away cause it's annoying having to reassure someone that you like them. So that behaviour is driving him to seek greener pastures elsewhere.
Break up with him and learn to be happy with yourself before getting into another relationship. You aren't ready for one.
Why doesn’t he break up with me? How am i supposed to feel secure with someone who has an inability to appreciate me? Lol. It’s not just social media, I’ve stated that it runs deeper than that!
And to be honest, he is the only partner i have been with where these feelings of inadequacy and insecurity have come up. Why? Because he doesn’t make me feel like he likes me/is with me because he likes me. He does the bare minimum and treats everyone with more attention. Also, I’m not even asking for a lot. I’m asking for a partner that shows affection once in a while. Like what lol?
You seem like a super insecure person. I know you're not capable of breaking up with him, because yourself esteem is so low. Work on enhancing yourself first
Lol, i don’t think I’m insecure because i have not ever been like this... UNTIL i dated him because he doesn’t show me attention/affection. Also, i am assuming you would message other girls while in a relationship because you don’t think it’s wrong (or seem to think it’s wrong - you throw everything back at me being insecure). Have a good day lol :)
Yeah if you were a secure person you would realize that it's not who he's messaging, but WHAT he is messaging, but you care nothing about that. Only bettering yourself will help you to deal with YOUR problem
Omg, clearly i am insecure about WHAT he is messaging. He isn’t messaging them “hi”, he is being flirty/messaging them about their appearances and acting single in the DMs. I have seen the messages he sent. Why on earth would i be jealous/insecure if he was just being friendly towards a female he knows? That was a wrong assumption to make towards me lol.
So no. I am not insecure. My boyfriend is doing things that don’t show me appreciation/respect and then throwing it back at me being insecure, just like you are doing. That isn’t right.
Your feelings of insecurity and inadequacy have come up because you are seeking reassurances from others about your worth. If you were content within yourself their opinion wouldn't affect you. You felt good in past relationships because you dated nice guys who showered you with compliments.
No. I dated nice guys who DIDN’T do this. Who didn’t slide into other girl’s dms and flirt with them/compliment them. My boyfriend does this to other girls, and all he can tell me is “oh, you look good” when i put in a lot of effort. It’s not me basing my worth off of his opinions. It’s me not feeling appreciated by the person i am dating. And it’s funny, once I tell you the CONTEXT of his messages to other girls, you still throw it at me being insecure. Whatever lol. I appreciate your advice, but, I don’t agree with you - at all. Your view is skewed and unfair.
From your answers, I feel sorry for a woman who dates you. You probably are very insecure also and that’s why you don’t see an issue in this. Sorry. Have a good day lol
It sounds like he actually think a bit lowly of you because of your previous relationship. You have to communicate with him about this cause it is causing you a lot of pain. Or you could try approaching professionals. If all doesn't help, it may be better to end it.
I really don't know what to tell you about this except that maybe he's Not That Into You. I don't see how he could be on social media and not respond to you for 12 to 24 hours later that's kind of crazy I guess you have to decide whether this is the type of guy you want in your life or not you have to search your soul way out your pros and cons what's the good things about being with him what's the bad things about being win if the good outweighs the bad then you know what you have to do
First, both men and women need to feel appreciated. Have you told him how you want to feel appreciated and that you feel this is lacking in the relationship? Be very direct and specific but polite.
Second, you shouldn't base your worth on social media, that is unrealistic and will lead you down the wrong path. Your self-worth comes from inside yourself, not from someone or something else.