What to do now that first date with ex went well?

My ex and I broke up 4 months ago while I was in NY. First I lost my temper out of insecurity for being away from him for too long(a month) and said we might as well be single! Then he said left wait and think and then wrote me an email! Saying he thinks our dynamic doesn't work! I never did get a real reason and I was isolated out of touch and in a foreign country. Two months later we were back in the same country and I tried in vain to tell him face to face I'm still in love. He said he believed we did the right thing. I then researched everything on how to win your ex back. So I waited patiently another month. I've also regained my confidence in the meantime and stability in doing new things, new friends and just getting on with it in general ( with a plan ). We've bumped into each other three times and I always felt confident and gorgeous. I do believe each time I see him, I see love in his face. But I kept myself to myself. After the third time, he phoned me and asked if we could go for dinner some time. This has been the first contact from him since our break up. The rest of the time he was only respectful if ever I wrote something to which he'd reply. So, then I said yes, but we didn't arrange a time or place, only a certain day. The day came and went and I was upset and told him by mail that I find it disrespectful and that I would have preferred if he could have said something. To which he replied he was going to phone me that day to arrange something he'd been traveling and was exhausted. I didn't think that was great and said I was not comfortable to discuss arrangements further. But, 5 days later I swallowed my pride and asked him if he wanted to meet 5 days later. I am utterly in love with this man. We have been together for a year and I think it came to a very sudden end while I was still very much in love. I decided to go to the dinner with no expectations, just to be light and lovely as we haven't had this chance since we split. I have no idea what his intentions are but I do think he's made it quite clear that we are over. We laughed and caught up and it went very well. After dinner he put his arm round my shoulders and said that it was really nice dinner as we walked to the car. As he dropped me I smiled and thanked him and he said we should hang out again soon. I still can't believe it ended and I so want to play my cards right to win him back but I'm leaving town for three months to my motherland and he is going to India in 4 weeks time so I feel I'm running out of time. I can be more patient and wait another 4months but I want to be sure I stand a chance. As I still don't really know what put him off for being so clear about our breakup. I do believe that I lost my man because I lost control of my emotions and my man fell out of love with me and he probably has too much love for me to say the truth in my face and hurt me. Do I call him and be confidant and a go getter and set up another date. Or do I wait for him? Its been 5da


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like he may just be trying to establish a friendship not a relationship again with you.If he's not contacting you,hes not chasing you. You may miss him,but it seems like the two of you are on two different ships passing. I think you might want to work on getting OVER him and NOT getting him.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you want him and he's not cotnacting you then you might have to do more work to get him, sounds like he's not really into you and might be interested in friends with benefits or casual ...

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What Girls Said 3

  • Go for it, what's there to loose other than the chance you know?

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  • Yes

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  • crack open a can of marmalade

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