What does it mean when you ex doesn't return your stuff after breaking up with you?

[Anonymous]

I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the past two years. It was almost magical and we got along famously. Then, without any real warning, she decided to end the relationship in January. Since that time, she has completely cut me off- doesn't talk or respond to emails/texts. She even avoids me when she has to come around my work place. I have conveyed to her via email that if she is truly intent on ending the relationship, then I would like her to return a number of my things which she still has in her possession (note- these things are not/were not gifts. they are items that I need for my work). She has not returned the items and it has been several weeks since I asked for them back. What does her behavior mean? Why is she holding on to my things? I am not sure how to interpret her behavior.

[gaia_gritti]

It sound like for whatever reason, once she made the break with you that was it. At this point, I am sorry to say, your things could already be history, ie trashed. I have always been a returner of things, so I cannot understand this mindset. I have heard of people holding onto the possessions of exes as remembrances, or in the case of a vicious break up, for revenge. Your ex does not seem to be either of those scenarios, so I am guessing that when she gave up on the relationship, she let all your things go as well. Not a happy scenario, and I am sorry. I think, you may have to accept not seeing your belongings ever again. Perhaps, you had a shared friend that you could ask to either collect the things or put in a kind word on your behalf for their return. Best wishes!

[Anonymous]

I would think she didn't see that those stuffs are anything substantial. She thought that the "asking for things" meant to just be a topic for talking or meeting that may drag things longer and longer.

I ignored this when my ex tried to discuss it with me also. I didn't buy the gag. He lives on without those stuff though.

[Shaun]

She trashed them. And you screwed up by not making her return them in a timely manner, I.E. if you tried to take her to court now to reimburse you, she'd say that she gave you reasonable time to get them and then threw them away.