No way. Given your track record, I would be more surprised if you were ready to start dating so soon. If you like him, you could try asking him to give you some extra time. You've only had a few months to work passed this most recent break up, so maybe ask this guy to give you until the Fall, or something?
"You argued on Facebook" ? Good Lord. No, you're not coping out, but you don't seem to have a great "picker" when it comes to men. Go at your own pace. Besides, those are just words from him. Would he actually be ready to take on a woman with kids from different dads, and deal with all that drama? I think he might just be "saying that" because it makes him look good.
I would say that you should take time until you both calm down... You should talk to your previous man and work it out and move forwarded. Relationships are all about working things out and accepting each other faithfully and unconditionally. Please do this❤️
That could be tied to your maturity level all I can tell you as an older man divorced after 33 years I would love to have something serious in my life I miss that deeply. And there is no way in hell I would accept it at this point because I'm not ready for anything serious at this moment as badly as I want it no cop out here
Not necessarily, but in this case you're not avoiding something that you ought to do, but dodging something that clearly you shouldn't. There's been too many signs of a disaster waiting to happen with this guy. If you're not ready for anything serious and you made that clear, there shouldn't be any expectations from him of anything serious until you're ready. If that's not acceptable, he hasn't lost much at this point, and it's not too late to end it before he does.
Hmm... it's your personal life and Choice but I Would say you have kids, So before taking Any decesion You need to think about their future, kids also need a Good father, I have lost My father when I was kid and I know how much important he was in life for his Support and protection, don't do anything which can make you regret in future, I am not saying this Guy is not a Good person but Think Seriously about this All
I'm currently in this guy's shoes with a guy I've been talking to. So let me ask, when you say you like him but you're not ready, WHY exactly are you not ready? You like him, so what's holding you back? Just curious!
First of all, let's reframe the statement from what you think he's saying about you into what him saying that might be saying about him. Does this coincide with other kinds of behaviour where you feel he may be trying to pressure you to rush into a situation you're not ready for? If it does, keep that in mind when you decide to pursue anything serious.
It's not a cop out it's smart and any man that cannot see that is not worth the time. You don't need someone without common sense hanging around serious or not.
It can be like guys usually use it when they are too immature for a relationship, but in your case you were being honest and had a good reason, so for you no it's not.
XD I love how you just assume that the only reason men could have to not be ready for a new relationship is cause they're immature. You're so fucking SEXIST!
"If women do it then they probably have a good reason for it, if men do it then they're immature.", because if a man isn't ready to take care of a woman 24/7 then he's immature.
I can put whatever I want in quotes, what I quoted was more the essence of what you were really saying. I'm jist trying to point out the double standard that you are setting, you made a point of saying that when men do it, it's immature, but it's fine for her to do it.
He might just be fussy because you put him in the friend zone. Have you been flirting and acting or responding to romantic gestures? He might think you were playing him. Is this guy worth reevaluating yourself?
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Anonymous
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It's definitely not a cop out. You are not ready for a serious relationship. You've had two children with two different men, and it sounds like you're finally ready to take some responsibility and not make the same mistakes again. Wait until you're ready to date seriously before to get prego again and deny another man his child.
No it's not. It just means you're not strong enough to be hurt again if something goes wrong. It means you're still healing but would like to have some fun flirting and/or dating in the mean time.
I suppose it can seem that way to someone who has no idea what you're experiencing. The whole idea of a "cop out" to me just seems like basing a judgement on ignorance.
In some circumstances yes it can be a cop out. In my highschool it was always the lowest way to break off/reject a relationship. Adulthood changes the game. Your situation wasn't a cop out
Sounds like he's just another dick. Anyone who actually cares about you is gonna be super nice from the beginning especially. Find a decent guy, please!
It depends on the person and what they want. Think about it if it were reversed and you were dealing with a guy in that situation. You have to find someone who is willing to accept your situation and take it slow
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No way. Given your track record, I would be more surprised if you were ready to start dating so soon. If you like him, you could try asking him to give you some extra time. You've only had a few months to work passed this most recent break up, so maybe ask this guy to give you until the Fall, or something?
"You argued on Facebook" ? Good Lord.
No, you're not coping out, but you don't seem to have a great "picker" when it comes to men. Go at your own pace. Besides, those are just words from him. Would he actually be ready to take on a woman with kids from different dads, and deal with all that drama? I think he might just be "saying that" because it makes him look good.
Yeah we argued on Facebook everybody saw it
You should have unfriended him and not done that.
I would say that you should take time until you both calm down... You should talk to your previous man and work it out and move forwarded. Relationships are all about working things out and accepting each other faithfully and unconditionally. Please do this❤️
That could be tied to your maturity level all I can tell you as an older man divorced after 33 years I would love to have something serious in my life I miss that deeply. And there is no way in hell I would accept it at this point because I'm not ready for anything serious at this moment as badly as I want it no cop out here
Not necessarily, but in this case you're not avoiding something that you ought to do, but dodging something that clearly you shouldn't. There's been too many signs of a disaster waiting to happen with this guy. If you're not ready for anything serious and you made that clear, there shouldn't be any expectations from him of anything serious until you're ready. If that's not acceptable, he hasn't lost much at this point, and it's not too late to end it before he does.
Hmm... it's your personal life and Choice but I Would say you have kids, So before taking Any decesion You need to think about their future, kids also need a Good father, I have lost My father when I was kid and I know how much important he was in life for his Support and protection, don't do anything which can make you regret in future, I am not saying this Guy is not a Good person but Think Seriously about this All
I'm currently in this guy's shoes with a guy I've been talking to. So let me ask, when you say you like him but you're not ready, WHY exactly are you not ready? You like him, so what's holding you back? Just curious!
First of all, let's reframe the statement from what you think he's saying about you into what him saying that might be saying about him. Does this coincide with other kinds of behaviour where you feel he may be trying to pressure you to rush into a situation you're not ready for? If it does, keep that in mind when you decide to pursue anything serious.
It's not a cop out it's smart and any man that cannot see that is not worth the time. You don't need someone without common sense hanging around serious or not.
It can be like guys usually use it when they are too immature for a relationship, but in your case you were being honest and had a good reason, so for you no it's not.
XD I love how you just assume that the only reason men could have to not be ready for a new relationship is cause they're immature. You're so fucking SEXIST!
"If women do it then they probably have a good reason for it, if men do it then they're immature.", because if a man isn't ready to take care of a woman 24/7 then he's immature.
@devilman666 Your ignorant what you put in quotes is Not what I said word for word you can only use quotes when it is a direct quote, look it up.
I can put whatever I want in quotes, what I quoted was more the essence of what you were really saying. I'm jist trying to point out the double standard that you are setting, you made a point of saying that when men do it, it's immature, but it's fine for her to do it.
@devilman666 that's not what I was saying read it again, usually, you need grade school education
He might just be fussy because you put him in the friend zone.
Have you been flirting and acting or responding to romantic gestures? He might think you were playing him. Is this guy worth reevaluating yourself?
It's definitely not a cop out. You are not ready for a serious relationship. You've had two children with two different men, and it sounds like you're finally ready to take some responsibility and not make the same mistakes again. Wait until you're ready to date seriously before to get prego again and deny another man his child.
Just add "with you" to the end and that's all you need to know.
No it's not. It just means you're not strong enough to be hurt again if something goes wrong. It means you're still healing but would like to have some fun flirting and/or dating in the mean time.
I suppose it can seem that way to someone who has no idea what you're experiencing. The whole idea of a "cop out" to me just seems like basing a judgement on ignorance.
In some circumstances yes it can be a cop out. In my highschool it was always the lowest way to break off/reject a relationship. Adulthood changes the game. Your situation wasn't a cop out
I haven’t been single in like 10 years and I’ve had kids in both relationships
Sounds like he's just another dick. Anyone who actually cares about you is gonna be super nice from the beginning especially. Find a decent guy, please!
It depends on the person and what they want. Think about it if it were reversed and you were dealing with a guy in that situation. You have to find someone who is willing to accept your situation and take it slow
If you're not ready for anything serious then let him go.
What the hell is going on with guys these days? Turned into a bunch of needy posesive chicks.
Tell him that he can call it whatever he wants, but that's the way it's going to be.