So my ex didn’t like my insta photo. Instead, she added to her story about 5 minutes after I posted. What does this mean?

[Anonymous]

Hey y’all, Posted something on insta. Ex girlfriend did not like it. Which is fine... but I noticed she literally posted to her insta story 5 minutes after I posted my photo which I find kind of funny. Maybe I’m looking far too into it... I dunno... i almost viewed her story but stopped myself as I’m trying this whole no contact thing out since were on good terms. Any ideas? Thank you

[HollyK21]

I think you may be looking into it more than necessary. If she’s anything like myself or a few girls I know, then she could have muted your posts and story after the break up, making her pic even more coincidental. Still, rule of thumb for me post/break up is taking the out of sight out of mind route. If you mute her, you’ll be less inclined to pay any attention to what she does.

[Asker]

Hmmm well let me give a little background. We called last night and actually had a great conversation. She said she would unblock me on everything and that she felt bad for blocking me, etc. so she did... she didn’t immediately do it. I woke up to a request to follow (she requested at like 1am.) do anyways, she didn’t post all day, decided to post only minutes after I did? Seems sus to be honest. I’m not allowing myself to look at the stories and give her satisfaction.

[HollyK21]

You could be right, and she may have done it for your attention. Personally, I do feel like it’s a coincidence, because why seek your attention if she already has it? Personally I’ve probably been guilty of doing the same thing as she did, and have no idea my ex saw it that way. However, you know her best and have a good idea of her intentions.

[Asker]

We were seeing each other for over a year but I’m not sure. This is a new side of her. When you say: “ Personally I’ve probably been guilty of doing the same thing as she did, and have no idea my ex saw it that way.” what exactly do you mean? as in you purposely posted after he did and ignored him?

[HollyK21]

I mean posting a story or photo that inadvertently made my ex think I did it to catch his eye, simply because he had just posted something. I’m not sure what kind of girl your ex is, but doing sneaky things like what you’re suggesting she did just isn’t in my nature, or the nature of a lot of my female friends. I’m more direct. If I miss you I’ll say so, if I wanna talk to you, I’ll reach out, etc. Beating around the bush is just childish in my opinion..

[Asker]

Well the issue goes much further than that. We broke up because we were incompatible. Not because of lost feelings.

I really didn’t treat her all that well... not bad by any means, but not to what she deserved if that makes sense. We fought a lot... and I never showed affection.

I think she doesn’t want to get hurt again. She said “I’ve moved on” but has contradicted that statement several times and even told me she was considering getting back together but didn’t want to. She is protecting herself - which is good and I respect that.

I’m just so confused and am considering blocking her for my own mental health at this point.

[HollyK21]

I definitely get what you mean, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing that. If you are truly over the relationship and are trying to move on, then you have to do what’s best for you, whether it hurts her feelings or not. Take care of you and your mental above all else. If that means blocking her so you can start healing, she’s just gonna have to deal with it dude.

[Asker]

I’m not over the relationship and I still want to be with her. I definitely wouldn’t want to go straight back into things... but I would want to start as friends if that makes sense. See where it goes from there. I just don’t know how to start a friendship. Any ideas?

[HollyK21]

I definitely understand what it’s like to still want to be with a person, but it’s important to remember why you broke up in the first place, and ask yourself if eventually getting back together would do more harm than good. Especially if the situation was toxic. If you do feel like things could be different, then try talking to her about it and say that you want to start over as friends. Just be careful and be realistic.

[Asker]

Hmmm... I don’t want to give off any vibe of wanting to get back together as I feel it’s not necessarily productive. That feels forced. I want to say like “hey, can we be friends? If so, we need to establish boundaries and definitions of what our friendship is” etc. when do you think I should ask? Thank you by the way. Greatly appreciated.

[HollyK21]

Well since you guys talked last night, you could always reach out again tonight. Put your cards on the table, and see where she stands. Also, no worries! Lol

[Lizzzzz288283]

Well she’s your ex so she probably doesn’t want to like your posts. I don’t know why you’re looking so deeply into this