Pregnant AGAIN from ex.. what do I do?

Question

I am pro choice if you are not please do not have me for discussing abortion. My ex came inside me without my consent, he knows I do not want to be pregnant. I just had a baby this past April. We are broken up now and I found out because of what he did last month I am now pregnant again. I assumed I would just get an abortion but I am second guessing because 1. I do want a second child I just didn’t so soon and not with my ex 2. M child would be full siblings and not half / same father and I wouldn’t have two baby daddies in the future. 3. He did this on purpose because he knew I was going to leave him and he is super manipulative and a liar. Would it make me weird to have his second child even though we will not be together. Or what should I do? I’m just lost.. last pregnancy I was severely sick.

mindNsoul · Accepted Answer

I really tried to see it from your point of view and be understanding. However anyone who pointed out that you made a wrong choice you just dismissed their opinion because 'they are nor understanding' and being judgmental. But what about accountability and being a responsible adult.

1. Why didn't you use the pill, or a morning pill after, or any birth control method. And unless he raped you how come you didn't consent? and if you mean he didn't pull out than why not taking the morning pill. It's another way of not taking responsibility. Abortion should not be used as birth control method.

2. You referred to your baby as a boy. So you're perhaps in your second or third trimester. Why did you wait for this long to terminate. looks like plans with your ex didn't go as you expected. Why being so undecisive. Was that your behavior during sex undecisive and unassertive.

3. You are currently unemployed and your mom helps you. She will continue to help if you decided to work. How is that fair to her! should people throw their lives in order to attend to your ventures and desires.

4. On top of that you are bringing another child into this mess. Not well financially planned or emotionally planned.

5. Having two baby daddies by your logic is worse than having an abortion! Well yeah having two baby daddies is bad for the kids emotional stability especially if one father was a better provider and more attentive. And if you end up a single mom with different baby daddies.

If course since I said that I must be evil and not understanding. And judgmental too. But sometimes the only way we stop a pattern is by reflecting on our behavior and choices. I don't know how far into your pregnancy you are. But this is sad.

I would only wish that regardless of your choice to keep the baby or no. I would only wish that despite how you worded this question that you are a good person and a good mother. A good human too. Next time try to have boundaries and take decisions that are not emotions or hormones driven. I'm neutral about abortion in general. And you really need to think and take care of your health. And I hope you make good choices in the future.

FocusOfSuspicion · Accepted Answer

So, you have a baby. You’re gonna have a baby. He’s on the hook for that child just the same as the other. You could probably sue for child support so it’s weird to me that he’d do that out of vindictiveness, because it could majorly backfire.

You should stop having sex with him. I mean you say he came in you without permission, but hon’ why was he in you at all? If you keep going back to him, maybe you should still be together...

If you have financial issues with supporting the child or just paying for childcare there are a number of organizations you can go to. Worst come to worst drive around planned parenthood every day until you see some protesters, and go ask them for help. We’re talking about people who’d probably offer to adopt the child themselves to prevent it from being aborted so they’ll have or know where you can find resources.

Zealashton · Accepted Answer

hmmm. here is a thing

you will have lots of prolife fagots, ok,
but those fuckings will not care about the kid when that kid is on the street as adult being a bum, beacuse , a shit mom is sigal, and dose not have the capablitys to raising it, and leachs off a man.

sigal mothers are the worst,

trust me
the whore who gave birth too me, ruined my fucking life, and my dads. my dad left and abadoned me, and it fucked everything up

and now fast forwords, im 30 my life fucking sucks like shit, i have no job, i have no girl friend, im a virgin, and i am gentially mutilated, go look up blood stain men on face book

overall, its horse shit, and those pro fagots, saying oh your lucky to be alive,
i say fuck you, if i was aborted, i be better fucking off, beacus ei would not have too hear bull shit from you people

here's the thing, dose anyone give a homeless man a house, food and stuff, no no they doo not, they just walk on by and and only care about them selves,

sure abortion sucks shit for a year or so, but. its only that, nothing more,
you have think about, shit, like, is this child no is this person going to live a normal life, will they succed. will they find love, will they be a good person, can i actually take care of them,

oh and for the adoption shit lols, that s a fucking joke right their lols.

your ex is an ex for a reason,
its ethire your a crazy fuck
or you have bad choice in men and their for your also stupied,
and thus a sigal mom spells out, gold diger badge, and stupied person,

shure my step mom i call mom, is a rare gem, but thats extreamly rare, to have, not man wemon are like her in the world, saved me from that whore, and treated me like a son, but thats extreamly rare.

Reaperbot666 · Accepted Answer

considering they willingly engage in a sexual encounter without protection. but only relaying on the pull out method which can fail rather easily. even if the guys does manage to pull out in time. sounds like she might have secretly wanted. to get pregnant by him again even at a subconscious level. since she wanted another child so he first was not an only child. or he is just a jerk who didn't care because he wanted to leave her. however now he can be but on the hook for child support. without custody or visitation if she wishes to go that route with the law. just hope she can manage to raise the children by herself or with help from family and friends. at any rate considering she had medical issues from her first pregnancy. might be wise to speak with her doctors about the ordeal. and see what advice they offer her in the long run. if she chooses to abort the sooner the better however. but then she might regret it later on in life.

LittleAngelicShxt · Answer

First of all I think you should take an advice from a psychologist on how you can handle everything because what you going through sounds pretty messed up. What he did is extremely wrong, and no matter if you keep the baby or not, you should stay away from him and don't let that man close to your children.

Novacane · Answer

You seem to contradict yourself in your reasons. My thing is why would you want another kid with someone that is a liar and manipulative. If he gets you to keep the baby then you are doing exactly what he wants. And if you allow it who is not to say that he will do that again, then you will have another kid from a guy that you don't love and continue the cycle. I understand that you don't want 2 baby daddy but if you don't love this person then why have their kids, especially if he did that without your consent that is very wrong. I understand you do want another kid but if the timing is not right and the person you are having it with is not right then have an abortion if you feel that it's needed. break the cycle don't continue it.

callmex3na · Answer

I personally think that it is up to you. If you genuinely think you can't have a kid right now, then you know what to do. If you want to keep the kid, then ask your ex for child support. But know this, there must be a reason why he is an ex. Dont keep going back to him for sex especially if its going to end up with you having another kid. Use a condom, get on birth control, or use the morning after pill. There are so many things to prevent pregnancy. It is not just his fault for getting you pregnant... it is also yours. You both need to sit down and talk about what to do.

Anonymous · Answer

Most women have never even been in this position before to share an opinion. I know what you are going through TRUST ME! You already have a kid by him so its like why not? I've had an abortion you never forget it. Then later I was worried about having a kid too soon after my last... its all excuses that we make bc we are afraid... afraid of what tho? We create our own fears of failure. Its a baby and its yours i considered 2 more abortions went to the office and everything and GLAD I MEAN SOOOOOO HAPPY i didn't go through with em... i have 2 bds but whatever at the end of the day i just shake my head and think i can't believe i thought about killing my baby he is so beautiful. It will all workout... ok you let him hit raw (i did too) you believed him (i did too) but it HAPPENED and your baby is a blessing GOD would never put more on you than you could handle.

Anonymous · Answer

You say it wasn't consented? First, you're playing the blame game. We all know when a man is about to cut it can go either way.. also there is a chance to get pregnant with precum (very small). How about you should have worn a condom or you should have taken the morning after pill? None of these things came to you? Take responsibility for your actions.. yes, we all make mistakes but what annoys me is people who don't own up to their responsibilities. Yes, u should get an abortion... simply bc you are NOT ready to be a mom.. especially with having the responsibility of 2 children. N if you wanted to leave him so bad, why are u fucking him?

Massageman · Answer

I'm sorry that you are having to deal with a manipulative man in your life.
Try to find a "pregnancy center" near your location.
I worked with one such group for about a year.
They will offer support as you progress through the pregnancy and decide if you will remain the care-taking mother, or to have the baby raised by an adoptive couple.
Good luck.

https://resources.care-net.org/find-a-pregnancy-center/clkn/tel/877-791-5475

SenseiSeptred · Answer

There is a way that some people can be of the good alignment that is manipulative, but he does not sound like one of those people, and some people that are liars have run some of the best of world-spanning businesses, but his sound like they are destructive in ways that are not pure of heart. I would try to show some of the best of heartful based activities while telling him that what he did was wrong, but you realize that he trusts you enough to want another child with you even though it was done immorally, and for that trust from him that you will try to carry out the pregnancy for as long as possible, and will eat some different foods to make it so that you don't become so sick next time. That is just my suggestion which I hope helps a little bit?

AngelLily · Answer

It's definitely not weird to have the kid you had his first kid so I don't see why it would be anywhere weirder than the first also just for a little note it's probably best if you stopped sleeping with him if this keeps happening Ir at least use protection.

honestGUY45 · Answer

Stop getting with an ex. No matter what anyone says, you are ultimately responsible for preventing your pregnancy. This may sound dickish, but if you're the one that has to go through the pregnancy and there's no guarantee the father will be there, you need to cover your ass by any means necessary. They say it takes two to make a baby, but that's just a catchy phrase women like to use. You can get pregnant without having a sexual partner, and you can use multiple forms of birth control to keep yourself from getting pregnant whether the man wants you to or not. Your body, your future, your call.

ZackBan · Answer

For future reference if you know you're gonna leave someone maybe don't fuck them. Not to mention get some pills or a condom or both.

But right now it's a dilemma but I say if you can't handle 2 kids alone then abortion should be on the table. I know it sucks but a hard life with a struggling single mom sucks even worse so...

nella965 · Answer

First of all, I can see you’re not very intelligent woman. This is what you get for being stupid. Sorry to sound rude but you MUST use a condom If you want to avoid kids. Pulling out does not work. And now you have kids without a daddy by their side. Hopefully you can find a way to support your kids all by yourself. All I see here is a dumb woman who screwed up big time.

jshm2 · Answer

You have a really shitty taste in men, off the bat. Maybe see about setting up charges or child support off your ex.

If you are anti-abortion then have the kid and give it up for adoption.

Use a fucking condom, if you don't want to take birth control. How bloody difficult is it to remember that?

Saturnxox · Answer

1. Not open your legs for him again
2. Maybe start using condoms, precum also contains sperm cells and can get you pregnant as well. "Not cumming inside you" isn't a safe method.
3. Jus leave that bitch, you deserve better.

And you can get an abortion, I'm also somewhat pro choice.
I'm pro choice when accidents happen like condoms breaking, or when it is rape, or when it's something medical. This is straight up stupidity. But fine.

JustAHumanHere · Answer

You should have been more cautious. Why would you have sex with your ex? Why would you not use a condom/the pill? If you know your sexually active, and you have kids and you don't want more then make sure that doesn't happen, this doesn't makes sence to me. At all. If this was rape, it's different. If it wasn't then you need to accept your part of the responsibility, because then it's not just his fault, it's yours to. This isn't a casual matter, so treat it with some maturity.

yucychan · Answer

You have the right to be pro choice. But then, why did you make such stupid choices?
Sleeping with your ex, and he is not wearing protection.
And now you are wondering what you should do.

Are you married? Or with a new boyfriend?
If you are already with a boyfriend or spouse, then why are you screwing around with your ex?

Hangry22 · Answer

Abortion. Because of health reasons of the baby. The risk of having a premature and underweight baby due to conceiving it less than 6 months of a childbirth is very high. Also your body hasn't completely recovered from your first pregnancy therefore your iron and calcium levels may be low and you can suffer from anaemia.
Also the safe period for unprotected sex was 6 months after your childbirth. Even then, it's not completely safe. Start using PROTECTION

Agape93 · Answer

I say abort it. You have plenty of time to find a better quality partner, don’t worry about the stupid baby daddy stigma. :/ just worry about yourself and your desires, and don’t let the man cunt manipulate you.

FakeName123 · Answer

This is why I am undecided about abortion. Reading your story makes me want you to have an abortion rather than being responsible for a new life in this world when you can't even be responsible enough about your own vagina.

thatgirlinlove · Answer

if you were breastfeeding your child, most probably you won't be pregnant.
Easy to blame the man for cumming inside without your consent. Why didn't u ask him to buy a condom or get some measures yourself to avoid pregnancy.

Go see a doctor

dcblah58 · Answer

I'm pro-life; however, in the case of rape, most states allow abortion ( I would go as far to state that even kids of rape should have the right to live but I agree that it should not be forced by law). Regardless, rape and murder are both wrong but if you want to murder the kid, law would allow it and most of society would not be angry with your decision if you were actually raped. Unless you didn't tell your boyfriend to stop.

Pregnant AGAIN from ex.. what do I do?

Superb Opinion

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said