What does a guy mean if he wants a break and just figure things that have been bothering him lately?

I'm dating this guy for over 3 months now. For over a week he felt so cold and distant. I kept on asking him what's going on and if everything's okay. he just kept on telling me that we're perfect and that everything's okay. All of a sudden I got a text message from him saying that he needs a break and figure things that have been bothering him lately. so basically he was breaking up with me. like I don't know what's going on. It feels so unfair that he hasn't talked to me about what he's feeling and obviously he was shutting me out. Its so unfair that we both came to this point that we have to break up without even trying and making things work. and I'm hurting so much because I don't know the real reason why he broke up with me.


Most Helpful Guy

  • He didn't break up with you, translated, he said he needs some time alone to, as he said, figure things out. Kickrockslosers' questions were good, take those into consideration but give him some time.

    If I were to tell my Girlfriend that I needed some time to myself and didn't tell her why, it's not because I didn't trust her or not want her input or anything like that, it's that it was a big enough burden that I didn't want to lay any of its weight on her and I felt it was something I had to work out myself. Eventually he'll be ready to talk to you about it, but give it time.

    • Now... this got me thinking... did he really broke up with me?? like.. I wanna talk to him and ask him a lot of questions but I guess he's not ready to talk yet.... I just don't know if he wants a break but he still wants us together or he wants a break from me totally? ....i don't know....

    • He said take a break, not break up. One option is to send him a text that says that you're worried about him and he can talk to you when he's ready. After that leave him alone and let him come to you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Make up YOUR mind as to if YOU want to accept being the game a man plays or demanding to know your position, your meaning, your purpose in his life and HOW he will make YOU happy and feel like the ONLY woman on earth, short of his family, who matters to him in his world. IF you get no answers? There is none. Time to move on or settle being a "choice" instead of the one. Love yourself first, think of US second!." He did.


What Girls Said 3

  • It doesn't sound to me like he's breaking up with you. To me it sounds like he has some personal guy issues that he has to deal with. After 3 months I don't think a guy is ready to share his deepest concerns and problems. Give the guy some time to get himself together and don't rush him. If he needs the space give him the space and don't be insecure.

    Here are my questions for you:

    1. Did you cheat on him? If not, then you have nothing to worry about.

    2. Did he cheat on you? If so, then he's trying to cover it up or get rid of the other girl.

    3. Are you totally selfish and only talk about yourself? Well then there may be a reason that he may not confide in you.

    4. Do you think that you are insecure, even just a little about the relationship and are blowing it out of proportion?

    5. Do you automatically trust people after 3 months? If you do, then maybe your expectations are a little too high.

    Slow down a little and give him some space.

  • There's no underlying meaning. He needs to figure things out and needs a break, exactly like he said. I think what you want to know is WHAT he needs to figure out and WHY he wants a break. In that case, you won't know until he tells you. That's IF he tells you anyway.

    Are you sure he broke up with you or just needed a break?

    • That's exactly what I wanna know......i wanna know WHAT he needs to think about and WHY he wanted a break...

    • Technically he said he needed a break NOT that your breaking up. This is kinda one of those things where we can only give you so much advice on here about what we think he's talking about, but you won't know until you talk to him. I'd stick it out but be prepared for a break-up just in case. If his problems have nothing to do with you then why freak out on him when you don't know the full story right? All I can say is give him the space he wants and he'll come to you when he's ready.

  • Hey I'm in the same situation! except it wasn't by sms, he just said that he needed a break. I also feel like that too, confused. I think he is unsure about breaking up. '

    And yeah guys do need time alone for some stuff, I don't know why. I don't know why they don't share more info about situations, they like to solve things by themselves even if its so painful. They hardly let out their feelings unless they feel like they can't control it anymore.