Only if the reason they said no was because they decided they didn't want me. Marriage seems to be this goal in relationships and not the relationship itself. Not wanting to legally bound yourself is a personal reason and not always a reflection on the person who asked or the relationship itself. Proposing has lost it's value by discussing it to death. That's why there are women who are bothered by the time it takes someone to purpose. Marriage is expecting someone to sacrifice their entire life up to that point, it becomes more than just about love. People seek it for many reasons, it's lost it's real meaning.
I believe that proposing should happen naturally and not out of expectation from having discuss it previously. And it shouldn't be something someone has to do in order to be with someone, it seems a bit controlling to me.
You hear of people who don't want marriage at all but end up proposing to someone. Why because of love. It's unpredictable and should be the inspiration and sole purpose of wanting a marriage. Otherwise you only have a mutual legal agreement that took years to draft up that has finally been approved and satisfied by both parties. Well to me anyways. And I'm on a no marriage ever again mindset so that's actually saying a lot.
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After a few years of experience with at least 4 proposals under my belt. it is best to understand why. I wish I could say that I was that smart, but many of my past friends have actually asked, or been asked, "Hypothetically, if I proposed, would you accept?".
On the other hand, if it is a solid possibility and the right time, you probably both know.
If the proposEE says no, then there were probably some big red flags beforehand. However, it does not mean that they do not want to spend the rest of their life with you. Just be sure to keep your money separate and expect the other person to pay half of everything, especially if you are living together, until there is a "contractual agreement".
It is as common to find people who feel too urgent a need to be married, as it is people who are terrified of marriage. Upbringing, example set by their own parents, financial pressure, biological clocks, isolation of single people when all your friends are married, romantic fantasy, all your younger siblings married and had babies before you, hurry to move out of abusive parental home, or fear of losing a Dr. fiancé promising 2 carats.
Contrastingly, growing up with a wife beater, alcoholic, and cheating father; drug addicted mother; family hoarders; poor money managing mom and dad who were perpetually poor and blamed it on getting married and having children; or history of a violent rape where the woman has lost all trust in men and fears being alone with them.
They are obviously not on the same page of communication.
Discussing the future during your relationship is way more important then popping the question and getting engaged. Your future shouldn't be determined by getting engaged... it needs to be determined by consistent communication throughout your journey and what both of your goals are for the relationship. .
You shouldn't start discussing your life together after you propose. If the both of you have communicated up and down what you both want and she says no to a marriage proposal... then that is a NO to YOU. So yes I would break up.
In my opinion I don't think you should break up with the person just because they decline your proposal I think y'all should talk about why that person said no and then move on from it and then propose to them another time. And make a big effort next time so it's a likely chance that that person will say yes. My parents are very old school so I have to let the guy propose to me. But if I propose to him I think it wouldn't really matter. But if they say no to me I wouldn't be mad I'll just be disappointed and very sad that the love of my life want to marry me or get engaged with me at that point. And I'll just try again next time. But usually the guy ship opposed to the girl cuz that's just how my family works so whenever he is ready and I feel the connection in the vibe in the room and if it's perfect and if it's fine if I like it of course I'm going to say yes cuz obviously I love the person and I love the vibe with them. And they're the only person for me. Beyonce said "if you like it you should put a ring on it".
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Depends on why she said "no." If the answer was, "I can't get married until I graduate college," and she indicated she wanted to continue to date, then I would have reasons to be hopeful about the future. If she said, "No, I don't want to marry you because you don't make enough money," I would have a quite ribald and hostile response to her.
This actually happened to me. I dated the woman for five years. Her Mom, best friend and sister all told me she was getting impatient for a proposal. So (being a professional engagement ring maker) I made her a diamond engagement ring with a VVSI 1ct brilliant cut diamond all by hand. I presented her with five dozen long stemmed red roses, one for every month we'd been together. Mixed in that was five dozen white carnations and a lot of baby's breath. I made a hand made Valentine's card (it was Valentine's Day) with a poem I wrote to her. I made her favorite flavor of chocolate truffle. I took her to her favorite restaurant and got her, her favorite dish, baked stuffed lobster. While she was waiting for the entre three violinists came over and played her favorite Vivaldi piece. After dinner I took her to a Broadway show that she'd wanted desperately to see. On the way home we pulled over to watch the aurora borealis. I couldn't have done anything more. Her Mom, sister and best friend all said she would not want it to be a big public proposal but something private and intimate and romantic. After a few minutes of watching the northern lights we saw a falling star and she made a wish. I took that as my cue. I got down on one knee, pulled out the ring, presented it to her and proposed while the radio played her favorite love song. She took the ring letting me put it on her finger, told me it was a nice ring then laughed and pulled out her cell phone without answering. I asked who she was calling and she said "my real boyfriend." That was a little over ten years ago and I haven't dated since.
It depends. If you had been talking to them about your relationship, and had been dropping hints that you want to take the plunge; and they have given you signs that it sounds like a good idea; and now that you have a green light you propose, and they say no! Ask the question, why. If they say they love you, but are not sure if they are ready, take some time to talk things through; they may at a later date say yes!!
If they answer you that they never gave you a sign of, lets go further. Take that as a sign that all they wanted was to flirt, and boost their ego. They never intended to be with you; so, it is time to cut your losses, and find someone who you connect on a personal level.I never proposed until it was almost a surefire deal with lots of conversation leading up to it. I don't like putting a girl on the spot that way and the last thing I want even if she says "yes" is pressure and surprise guiding the situation. I want any "yes" coming from her to be something she already mulled out far in advance on her own.
More applicable to me is whether I'd stay with a girl who doesn't want to be married. I think I would have as long as we have no intentions of having children.Yes I would break off the relationship. I would not propose to a girlfriend any sooner than 2 years (more likely 3 years). Also, during that time I would have been sure to ask/discuss both our thoughts for our future, both together and as individuals. If I put money into getting the proposal ready, it would only be after I was sure she was ready. If she says no to my proposal, I would take it as she was dishonest and/or not mature enough to know herself before giving her answers. If she does not know me well enough or trust me enough to be willing to marry me after that much time AND after the thorough discussions we would've had up to that point, then I would not waste any more of my time.
My mother told my father No... the first time he propose, but her phrase she said was "No, ask me later."
Then the next time she said "yes" it wasn't more than a few weeks though.
If my goals was marriage and a long term relationship and someone said no, and left it at that... I'd break up with her. No point in wasting anymore time.
Funny thing is my first time I got married I rushed it too much, but she said yes... the next time more than a decade later. I was happy to not rush it and my current wife is the one who actually said, that I should propose to her. She said I was moving too slow for her liking.Hopefully the couple has had enough experience- and experiences- with one another that they already "know" when they are about ready to tie the knot. The actual proposal-with-ring-thing is the "icing on the cake" as it were- the BIG surprise often being the high degree of creativity USED to MAKE the offer official.
Hmm... how about having your head examined? Lawyers say " never ask a question in court that you don't already know the answer to". A marriage proposal is the exact same thing. If a guy doesn't know for certain that the answer will be yes, he shouldn't be asking because it means you don't know your partner well enough to BE married.
But let's say you're blindly in the dark and can't see the forest for the trees, and you ask and get rejected. Yes, you should end the relationship because what's the point of going on? You want a life with her, she doesn't want one with you. NEXT !!So I get that she might say no due to the timing of it, but when I propose I will likely be confident she says yes. Also the engagement period is flexible so even if she didnât want to get married in a year we could have a longer engagement. But if she still says no after offering those options itâs a clear sign I need to break the relationship and find someone else. I respect her decision if the timing isnât perfect but timing wise itâs better to start over sooner than wait for her to come around.
Depends on why he said no.. did he not like the fact that I asked him when he wished he asked me? Did he have a ring on layaway? Did I ask too soon? Maybe we just need more time.. if there was no chance at marriage at all in this relationship tell me why Im dating him then?
Depends on the reasoning. I mean, if they wanted to reach another life milestone first I would be ok with it. My husband waited until after I graduated from college. Before that I wouldnât have been ready. He graduated before me, so he was ready but waited until I was.
1st of all i don't propose, when i date a girl, i date for the purpose of marriage, if she's not willing to walk the same path with me, i'll leave cause my time if from gold...
I'm not one of these guys who kneels on their knees to propose, i only knee for god...
I'm honest from day 1, i don't use girls for my personal pleasure and i don't play with a girl'a feelings cause i like to make people happy and not sad or hurt!
I just like to be myself and don't like to act just cause it's a trend these days doing such things!Yeah I would absolutely break up. It sounds like thereâs a lack of communication in the relationship is one is thinking marriage but the other isnât. I think people tend to discuss their future together as they continue to remain in a relationship. Iâm sure the discussion of marriage will eventually come up.
Depends on how long we were in the relationship , and if we communicated about it , people that jump the gun and assume itâs time are playing with fire considering itâs a desperate approach , you kind of feel bad for those people but then in a way you donât cuz itâs like Dude , you barely know the girl , Me personally would never propose to a girl that I wasnât in a relationship with for a long time , Proposing To someone you barely know is just dumb
Possibly depends on their reasons for saying no. It may have been a communication error where they read signals wrong instead of discussing the possibilities openly an honestly. They may not be ready or have previous issues or just may not be the marriage type or have beliefs that oppose it.
There is not a definitive answer to this.
IF I purposed early in the relationship and she said no, AND we had a good relationship, I would not break up; it was simply too soon.
IF I purposed after we had lived together for over a year AND I wanted something with a commitment; the no would more likely end the relationship.
Those are rather the two extremes I could come up with to give an idea of the range of answers and reasons. There are many that sit between the two extremes that everybody will answer differently to, as many will the examples I gave.Maybe... I might have taken that as a "not now" and just considered it a challenge.
But... a girl was getting impatient and decided to ask me in a roundabout way. I said "I'm never going to marry you." She kicked me out.
The next day I got home from work and had a message waiting for me. She got a puppy and invited me over. She was also in the military and was going to have to move in a few months so we decided to hang out until she left.
Win win.Yeah, she rejected me, and if she didn't offer a reason, then Bye, BYE! Get your SHIT out of my house and find someplace to sleep tonight!
What kind of punk, loser, would wait around?
If I was to propose, I would think we were at that place, that we had trust, and love, and it would be good. if she said "no" then I was TOTALLY wrong, and misread, and didn't know her, like I thought, so BYE!!It depends on a lot of things for me.
If it was more of "not right now" then I'd give it a go longer. If it was more of "No" then likely I'd break it off.
Especially recently, if I'm at the point in a relationship where I feel the desire to propose then I'd hold out longer only if it seemed like it would eventually be a yes.A proposal means I believe you are the one! If you reject my proposal, I should evaluate my reason for thinking this way. Maybe, I miss read the signals. Am I delusional? Obviously, I made a mistake. So yes! I would breakup with that person. Life is hard enough without having to chase a rabbit.. Let Ms Betty Bunny go! Bye
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