Can you be friends with your ex?

Question

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

One of my best friends is also my ex-girlfriend and we were good friends before we were a couple, but that was during our teens. I'm also good friends with my second ex-girlfriend, same story... we were friends first, then a couple, and remained friends after, and we were early 20's... so, I guess the fact that we were very young and therefore we didn't end up together as in married and with children, and we had it "easier" to end the relationships in good terms, made that possible for us to keep our friendships intact.

As for my more recent relationships, I'm still friends with and we keep in contact because we (had to) also ended in good terms but it is definitely not as close as the others, the interest is there though, I always bond and connect with significant others in more ways than just a romantic one, so... that's why it's been possible for me.

RJJ33666 · Accepted Answer

It's possible to be friends with your ex, people exaggerate many factors about breaking up and then having a friendship with your ex. I myself am still good friends with many of my exes. If she is not the over dramatic type and you didn't break up because either of you cheated or something, exes can definitely be friends.

Cynicaldreamer · Accepted Answer

NO!

Not even if we broke up on good terms, absolutely not. I did try once with my first ex, as we broke up on mutual terms-
It didn't end well. He wound up butting into my dating life when I was trying to move on, and told our mutual friends and guys I liked things I told him in confidence!

Needless to say, I blocked and deleted him after that.
Now that's an extreme case, and yes, I know some people get along better as friends than they do in a relationship. But for me? When I break up with someone, that's it. I cut all ties and push them out of my life as much as possible in order to move on with the next chapter of my life.

AmandaYVR · Accepted Answer

Depends on the details of the breakup, and how the people were together, and how intense it was.
Also, why be friends? Sometimes it might be worth it, but if they're not good enough to be in a relationship with, do you really want to bother being friends with them? Again, guess it depends on why the people broke up.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Friends, like listen to her talk about the new guy she's dating, how she's gonna spend the weekend with him, how wonderful he is, that sort of crap? Hell no!

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I couldn't.

Leaving on good terms would never happen with me, either she cheated, or we argued too much, or weren't alike enough to stay or even be friends, or she would dump me arbitrarily despite being a match.

Why be friends with that? and if it's not those then why would I dump her? Any other reason would result in us not being friends or partners in the first place.

Ukrainianbuddafly · Answer

Me? No. And that is because I'm the type of person that goes really hard to make it work even to the point of sacrificing part of myself so when I'm done.. it's because you have mistreated me to the point of no return. I do know some people that have healthy friendships with their ex's so it's possible, it just isn't something I can do.

ChrisMaster69 · Answer

Greatly depends on why they are an ex.

my ex wife and previous ex girlfriend, I’m good friends with (and they are with each other’).

both ended friendly for different reasons and zero hassle for any of us.

saying that another. Girl I took a restraining order against, so yeah not friends there lol.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Eh. Only if she actually treated me like a friend. Both of my exes pulled some kinda underhanded nonsense (which is why we broke up). I don't mind those relationships not being around anymore, as they had their time and place and I'm thankful for the time we had together. I don't want to be friends with people who do me dirty like they did. I'm just not interested.

mechp · Answer

No, absolutely not. The reason being that you'll never be able to forget them and move past them. The feelings will always be there of what you two had, the memories and they'll be a text away.

I really like the example of the tree here. A relationship or feelings are like a tree, you plant a seed nurture it and water it everyday and it blossoms into a tree. Can this tree turn back into the seed? no it cannot, hence same is for the feelings you'll never be able to just stay friends.

MaddyLD · Answer

You can but I think it's usually unhealthy and you should go your separate ways. With that being said spending time talking or running into each other and saying hi shouldn't be a big deal after a certain period of time.

pikok · Answer

Theoretically yes, but it's no that simple. Most of the time one still has feelings for the other, but assuming both are trying to move on and they keep a certain distance between them, there shouldn't be a problem.

If the relationship was a long-lasting one, then I don't think so. They can be on good terms but it's essential both people are distant from one another, otherwise they won't be able to move on. There was a reason why they broke up in the first place.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

You sure can especially if you both left of good terms.

Ninjazzed · Answer

It’s possible if you choose to end things on a good note instead of a shitshow.

Adam_West · Answer

the level of pride I have is as high as that of a lion. so it never happens. an ex has no different to me than someone who has never been known by me.

MrJMM · Answer

I am friends with 2 of my ex’s the rest may lay in the coffin of my anger and my depression.

ItsMeItsMe1989 · Answer

Being friends with someone who rejected you Yeah, cause that makes any LOGICAL sense

Kha0tiic_xo · Answer

Absolutely fucking not

humanearth · Answer

I was forced to, because we had kids together

Nik_92 · Answer

Definitely yes if both are agree

Jenngirl00 · Answer

Thought we could, but too much drama

GhostMochi · Answer

Nah, he treated me like shit

Iron_Man · Answer

We tried it didn’t work

Waldoe · Answer

Yes... she has been very understanding

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Why would you want to be?

J9inva · Answer

Yes. I’m friends with two exes.

ItsTheNephilim · Answer

Nope.

Starwitch23 · Answer

Never

Firerubies · Answer

Of course!

red_knight · Answer

I rather die

Pterodon · Answer

Fuck no

In_Trance · Answer

Never

lycanthrope3 · Answer

If you want

Apson01 · Answer

Nope

Can you be friends with your ex?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said