I can’t cope with how my boyfriend treated me on this vacation?

Question

So me and my boyfriend went on a vacation (wedding) . We went to separate parties for a bachelor party and bachelorette party. My boyfriend ended up getting wasted and I stayed sober so we can have a great time when we got back. I walked in the room and he got home from the party. The first thing he did was shove me (onto the bed) and then he threw a portable fan at the door. I am so beside myself by how my boyfriend acted and whenever I bring it up, he gets upset. I’m so heart broken. What should I do?

lonestar_01 · Accepted Answer

There you have it, can't hold his drink. My father is the same in the fact that he becomes verbally abusive and starts banging and crashing stuff about in anger when he drinks too much. My mother can't either, but not in the same way. She becomes depressed and takes her life's troubles out for everyone to see if she drinks too much. You have a choice I guess, you've seen what he's like when he drinks so you can leave him. Or you can show that you won't tolerate his shit behaviour, give him another chance but if he does that again tell him it's over. My mother, when my dad used to be drunk, and scream in her face and lay his hands on her, would get a frying pan and smack him over the head with it, hard. Defend yourself. He threw you on the bed and threw the fan at the door? Well, he has a hidden tendency for getting physically violent then when he drinks then. Do you want to put up with this then? Personally, I'd leave him if it was me, I grew up around this type of shit and don't stand for any of it from anyone, male or female. But the choice is yours. Just remember you're not some timid little girl who should just take that crap! Best of luck to you. Hope you get this sorted out

Shizunk · Accepted Answer

So far he didn't really physically hurt you yet, but it is a seriously bad sign. You should ask him to acknowledge this should not happen again. But if he makes you feel unsafe and potentially gets violent but refuses to say its wrong and promise to not do that again, you need to remove yourself from that relationship and quickly at that. This may be solvable, but I personally believe everyone should have a fairly low tolerance towards violence. If something like that happens again, then time for a discussion ends that very moment. Best not to even let it come to that.

PiinkFalls · Accepted Answer

I think you should consider the difference between his personality during drunk and sober. Is he violent during both phases, or is he sweet and caring during one phase but then gets drunk and becomes violent. These are always the first red flags people start to ignore. Don’t wait until he puts his hands on you in a more serious manner. The fact that he won’t talk it out with you is another serious red flag. I’m assuming that you love him, and so leaving him would hurt a lot. However, having to dismiss bruises and marks on your body to family and friends would hurt even more. If you don’t put your foot down now and give him an ultimatum to stop drinking as much and to treat you better, I can promise you that he will find you as someone who is vulnerable and can’t stand up for herself. This will give him the green light to be even more violent with you in the future. This is something that clearly really bothers you, and if he truly cares he will talk it out with you. If he refuses to do so, then there is your answer. Don’t ignore these red flags!!

NicoletteXO · Accepted Answer

Personally, this would be an absolute deal breaker for me. Maybe - if you've been with him for years and this was a one-off - you might give him ONE more chance. But this is not the behaviour of someone who is likely to be a healthy partner. I'm sorry honey.

Anonymous · Answer

Pah! You're both over before it even started.
what do you need a bachelor and bachelorette parties for? To cheat one time before marriage?
and your boyfriend is an angry drunk. If you marry him, you'll be married to a violent alcohol.
it's your call.

Renegade_Sailor · Answer

He got drunk and violent. Get the fuck out!  This guys got more red flags than a Chinese communist parade! 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳

Daniela1982 · Answer

Well, as long sd you didn't wind up like Gabby Petito you are doing okay. Just how long did you go with this guy and how well do you, or thought you did, know him?

Laura456 · Answer

Random fact: I read the title of this post and the first thing that came to my mind was Gabby Petito :(

Shy_Steve · Answer

That sounds like a horrible situation, The best thing to do is tell your Friends and Family the people who care for you about it and listen to them and try to do what they tell you to do.

Open2It · Answer

I feel there's a lot more to this story... Why would the first thing he does be to throw you on the bed, then throw a fan across the room? What provoked this?

Anonymous · Answer

Of course all the virgin guys will say "leave him if he doesn't treat you right". In reality he didn't just shove you, you started mouthing off at him as usual and that time he had no impulse control because he was drunk.

Fuentes · Answer

Sounds like he gets aggressive when drunk i would suggest having him never drink if thats not possible leave him

Wise4myage · Answer

Sounds like it was alcohol induced, but don't tolerate that behavior again.

Paul09 · Answer

So he's a angry drunk. Yeah he should never drink then.

15_Debo · Answer

Get advice and try to talk to him softly

Danny_dan92 · Answer

That’s strange… I don't know.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

What did you do to initiate his outburst?

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe he found out you have been a bad girl?

Anonymous · Answer

He doesn't deserve you

Hangry06 · Answer

It was the drinks

I can’t cope with how my boyfriend treated me on this vacation?

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