If you want a divorce but young kids are involved, is it better to get it over with quick, wait until they are older or just stay married forever? (Page 2)
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Its matter of time if your young kids are involved in the situation so what its your life you have to deside. divorce is a very serious matter if you can Handel it then its OK but if you can't then its up to you. if you can solve the matter then there is no asking of divorce which is good for both of you but if the problem is with your hasband then you should cheak the position why it is happing if its a affear with someone then its OK but if you are having any conflict with him then you should try to talk each other and solve the matter if not than its OK as considered children is your right. you are free to decide that you want children to be with you or your hasband if they stay with you. then you and your children will get right to live and get proper right in staying in your house.
My sister and her husband got divorced right before the pandemic, and they have an autistic daughter together. The sudden and drastic changes during her most important years out her back in her development years. At this point she may never live a semi-normal life. I would do everything in your power to fix your marriage.
My marriage is fine, but thank you : )
Sorry to hear about your niece though
Exactly my point… about kids
It affects everyone differently of course. As you can see, others who have been through it say it was better that it happened in their families.
Sorry you both have different experiences but that's why I asked the question, to get different opinions.
Splitting up/ divorce etc is what happens to everyone unless your in that ‘perfect relationship’. Why does everyone put the onus on the kids? The kids shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip. As adults/ grown ups, we should all do our best for our children no matter what the circumstances. It’s not their fault that ‘mum & dads’ relationship has gone tits up. They’re kids, learning about life and what/ how we all portray that life prior to them, reflects on them. I grew up with an abusive dad, who put me and my mum in hospital many times. As an adult now, my boy is the most important person to me but I won’t ever use him as a ‘bargaining/ coercive’ chip for that ‘feel good factor’ or ‘I’ve got one better over you’ syndrome. Divorce isn’t all about ‘You as a person, no matter how much it hurts’. Think of the little ones caught up in it all. It’s not their fault.
kids know that things are not right, it is better for them not to stay together if you fight a lot.
That is not a healthy environment for them to grow up in.
And do not use the kids to get back at each other, be a grown up.
Don’t create regrets. Kids will be effected either way. It’s better for everyone when everyone is happiest. That choice is on the parents.
Your mom is in a difficult situation. You're 42 so I'm assuming she's late 50's or more likely in her 60's. As the primary caretaker of your father, she has taken on an awesome responsibility. I don't know his malady, but she most certainly deserves better.
She is 62 and is a RN where she takes care of people all day long on her feet then comes home and has to take care of him too. He is pushing 70 so I get it to some extent after his health issues, but he does nothing to make it easier on her. Growing up he was perfectly healthy, just lazy. Now he has had multiple strokes, has pain issues, has heart issues, is overweight and eats like a child does (take out, junk food, etc). He got placed on forced retirement but she is still expected to work and take him on vacations while also paying for things for both my brother and his son.
Growing up I felt a ton of heartache for her, but she refuses to do anything about it and frankly she hasn't been the greatest to me either once I came out and ended up not married in a way she had planned for me growing up. My patience and compassion for her situation has faded over the years.
It is best to have both parents be mature and do what is in the best interest of the children in their respective stage of growing up rather than being selfish and worse: using the kids as chesspieces to one up each other.
If those involved are mature, getting a divorce is easy and straight forward.
If they are not mature, they would till be better getting out of a toxic situation.
From what I've seen, people who get it over with and move on can be better parents apart than they were together.
No matter how you do it, the kids are going to be affected by the divorce
My parents waited until I was in high school before they split up. They really did me no favor staying married.
the younger the children the higher the chance of them taking damage in the process. Delay at the very least.
It's not helping the kids to grow up around unhappy parents that argue and avoid each other. They see it, and learn from it. My mom and dad got divorced when I was around 8 I think, and I never had any issue with it.
Definitely get the divorce but both parents have to coparent together constantly reassuring that kiddo how much they love there kids and at no point will the two of them not being together effect how much they love there kids
Calmly and maturely explain to the kids whats going to happen and that our discarded love for eachother will not be a hendrance to our love for them. Im not staying trapped for the sake of the kids. We’d maturely coparent from separate households.
Don't stay together for the sake of the kids. Just don't move three thousand miles away and allow for two visits a month.
The answer isn't easy, it depends how bad the relationship is between the parents.
If one is abusive for example, you should obviously be quick.
Spending 10 years with someone you hate won't help anyone either.
If you're not happy it'll affect the kids more to stay than having a clean divorce.
Hmm... with genuine care, there is very little the children would be at a loss for.
Yes, they would inherit the model of divorced parents as their norm, but that could be better than marrying to suffer. It's a difficult question.
The bit I know is that parents tend to play tit for tat via their children at divorce, which makes the whole thing horrible.
8r, the reason for divorce, never admitted, of course, is mommy wanting her sun's sexuallity to be fully hers (women are super horrible when it comes to abusing males - they just take it as their right and lie about it).
You almost seemed normal right up until the very end, then you went batsh*t crazy again.
I probably don't agree with what you are trying to normalise
That's fine if you don't agree with divorce or LGBT, but accusing women of child rape is gross
Heh - gross, yet done very willy nilly.
The fact you'd prefer to ignore it only puts you on the supporters-of-it list.
Or you are just batsh*t crazy *shrug*
I mean, wish it away and it doesn't exist. Sure. If you speak of batshit crazy, you must know what that feels like.
I do know, I see you posting right here to know exactly what it looks like and feels like having to read it
Having to read what?
It's my body, erm, my writing.
You mean the 'it's my body, I just used the boy for pleasure and sperm and now he is a father, while I lie to my husband it is his child'?
Men can biologically not be such horrible liars. The girl you'd touch would grow a belly (though we could start setting cheaters up to fall pregnant with defective sperm)
Yeah, no I'm done with your pedophilia fantasies over there
I think it's better to have happy parents than parents who stick together, being miserable.