What he does is his prerogative. HE can choose to make the best of whatever situation faces him. CHOOSING to do otherwise is HIS CHOICE. If helpful, remind him that. From the sudden-millionaire lottery-winners who went bankrupt in a blink of an eye… https://finance.yahoo.com/news/luck-lottery-winners-gone-bankrupt-143026492.html to the world-famous limbless, married president of a company & motivational-speaker
If this problem is too heavy for you, getting help from professionals in your area may be best. Such inconsiderate emotional-blackmail should not be something to inflict on others.
Likewise, law-enforcement also generally responds to threats of violence (including suicide, as reminded by an @Anonymous user). If need be, feel feel free to get their help.
@Flower7 Yup, he's 1 of the people in my life who made me realize that making the most in life is a conscious choice. I confess that it is probably the single biggest realization in my life, but I still need the reminder and the follow-through every so often. And this reminder from re-watching it again was much needed, especially with today's world the way it is now.
He is not at peace with himself nor is he at peace with you. I think that you need to sit down and talk to him about certain things. And get some clarity down.
Don't be afraid about certain topics that you have to discuss. Besides whatever you say will not make him want to leave you anyways. So give it all you got.
And I think that you can't take responsibility for his actions. Also you can come in a loving way and tell him not to make a permanent decision for a temporary pain. Because if he kills himself over you breaking up with him then he is not giving himself a chance to heal in the future.
1. Ask him why he feels this way.
2. Talk to him about what disappointed you in the relationship.
3. Ask him what is disappointing him from your part.
4. See if there is a misunderstanding between both you and him.
5. And ask each other if it's Good that you continue or not.
Sometimes having this conversation can change the outcome. Clearing out the air might give you guys a reason to continue or to consider breaking up. You guys will not know until you guys cleared the air.
A. If you guys continue, consider working on the issues that you guys discussed and have more healthy conversations in the similar fashion so that you guys can continue working on the relationship.
B. If you guys see that it's healthier to break up then do so in a healthy fashion like two grown adults. Consider the reasons why it's better that way.
C. The third option is also giving each other space so that you guys can work on yourselves so that when you guys do come back together again you will have a much healthier relationship than what you currently have. It's better to work on things now giving each other space so that you guys can continue in the relationship, instead of being in the same state, having the same problems, and experiencing the same results.
But the choice is yours. The choice is also his.
You have to show him that he should not think that way. I know because I was there. I know what it's like to put all my cards in one female and feel like killing myself because I felt like every reason to live has been gone. But I'm still alive. And I'm alive enough to tell you this.
100% manipulation. Tell someone he’s close to before breaking up but leave. I stayed the last 8-9 months of a miserable relationship cause he kept threatening to kill him self after begging stopped working. Got to the point he’d use it if we got in the smallest, minor argument/disagreement. He’d threaten to crash while we were both in the car. Hold kitchen knives to his wrists. By the end of the relationship I was completely unfazed by him saying he was going to. Do you know how much you have to threaten to off yourself for it to not have any affect on someone who cares about you? A fuck ton. I didn’t want to stay but he made it feel like I had to. Don’t let it get to the point where I did. I was never a suicidal person or damaged emotionally until dealing with him with lead to therapy afterwards
His feelings are not your responsibility. you have every right to leave. This is most likely an empty threat meaning he is just saying it to scare you into staying, but even in the worst case scenario, if he does that has nothing to do with you. If he isn't mature/mentally stable enough to live on without you that is his own problem. If you want to leave, leave. A man who threatens his life if you go does not care for you and doesn't deserve you. I know it can be hard not to take responsibility for someone's distress even if it's all for show. I've been in a similar situation, but believe me you will feel so much better without all the stress he is causing you. My best suggestion is to tell him to fuck off and do something nice for yourself.
2. What he has said most likely is a manipulation and he has no intention of actually trying to kill himself. However, you should not take a gamble and hope that is assumption is right.
3. Tell his parents what has transpired and then break up with him when you are at his home and his parents are present. Tell him you are going full no contact and then follow through and go no contact. NO contact. Contact him and he will start trying to manipulate/guilt trip you.
I've had ex's threaten to kill themselves. That's manipulation, regardless how serious they are about it. You can't let deranged people control your choices. Anyone who threatens to kill themselves is deranged, and a future with them will be a living hell for you. You simply must walk away and accept zero responsibility. Tell someone like his parents or even call the suicide prevention hotline and tell them about him, they will pick him up and keep him safe for 72 hours, believe me... I know, had to do that once.
Every week immature person says that you have to set your own rules in your life we get to choose who we want to be by the things we say and do if you're going to let this guy manipulate you and he's walking you around on a dog leash the way that he's manipulating you first of all he doesn't have the balls the next thing I would do is tell him don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out the door and if he ever says it to you again call the police department tell the police he threatened to kill himself they will come over they will ask him if he says yes is true then they'll put them in a twenty-four hour watch holding tank and then they'll probably even take them to it facility and you'll get some loser with he can prove to them that he's not going to do it so you got a couple choices but I would not take Choice number one in manipulating you that's just wrong
Something else to think about is him saying that trying to make you understand how much he loves you because somebody that loves you. Would not be doing or saying what he's doing and saying
You should break up with him as he is emotionally blackmailing you and you can never be responsible for the actions of other people.
So just break up, make it clear that its over and you are never getting back together and that emotional blackmail like this is totally unacceptable and he should work on resolving those issues for himself so that he might be able to interact with someone else in a healthy way at some other time.
You may need to repeat the 'its over and never getting back together part'.
Do this by text if you are concerned for your safety.
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
"oh that would be a shame. Well it was nice knowing you!" lol I'm kind of serious with that though. He's only trying to manipulate you, and in the worst way possible. Don't "give in" to that or let him guilt you that way. It's totally not fair to you (you have the right to even be angry about that, it's a horrible thing for him to say and selfish). He's not going to do it, it's only a threat. Even on the off chance he's serious and something happened (which it won't), but let's say, in no way is it YOUR fault. His issues and only his. He need theory and help if that's the case. Ask him if he wants you to stay with him and be miserable? Because that's what you'll be, only even more than you are already.
Most people who make such claims do so for attention and would not really follow through. ways to know if they mean it are: They have a plan. They have thought about it before. They have tried and failed before.
Ways to know if they don't mean it: When asked how they would do it they say I don't know. This is the first time you have heard them say anything about doing it. They have a pattern of seeking attention.
If not sure tell them you are going to call the police on them to help save their life. Pick up the phone as if you are. Look at their reactions. Do they get angry or emotional?
Break up with him anyway. If he does kill himself, that would be his own fault and not yours. You can’t hold yourself responsible for the actions that other people choose to take. I mean, hopefully he won’t actually go through with that, but if by some chance he does, you shouldn’t take on the burden of that.
The first thing to consider is: Why do you want to break up? What's wrong with him? Is he abuse? Cheating? Controlling/stifling? If he's any of those, you could hardly be blamed for not wanting to stay there; and if he threatens his own life it's not really your problem, although it would be nice if he could be directed to someone who can give him the help he needs. If it's none of these things, and the guy really loves you, then you're a murderer for wanting to break up; in this case it would be on you for dating the guy to start with, if you never wanted anything serious with him to start with.
That's total BS. He is using your affection for him to blackmail you into staying with him. This is only the beginning. This behavior is the hallmark of someone who will later extort you into staying with emotional and physical abuse. Run for your life, literally! If he kills himself, the world is better off. If he doesn't succeed, known as a suicidal gesture, he is attempting to blackmail you through sympathy. That is another red flag, but may get him the psychological help he needs before it's too late. But that shouldn't be your problem. Put this jerk in your rearview mirror as fast as you can.
Let him kill himself , that’s his problem , He has control issues and that’s probably why you don’t want to be with him anymore , You are probably feeling manipulated in that relationship so do what’s best for you and leave his ass , The thing is he isn’t going to kill himself , he is just using that as a manipulative tactic , he needs a wake up call and to realize love can’t be forced it can only be guided , He will eventually get it hopefully ,
You can advise local law enforcement and/or his family to watch him. One time a guy faked a psych case and came to the hospital I worked at because he knew his girlfriend would come visit him and wouldn't handle a break up well and he wanted her to be around immediate psychiatric care when he ended to relationship.
His mental health is not more important than yours.
I would just break up with him and not talk to him again. He survived without you before you 2 started dating, and he will survive without you after. This is a very toxic thing to throw on to people and is definitely a sign this is someone you don't want in your life.
Most times when a person says that, it is just a guilt trip to prevent the other from following through on their promise. They also know a suicide threat is to not be taken lightly, so that forces the other to back off. But what I would do is to do what you have to. Unless he has shown signs of depression in the past, tell him it is time for you two to part ways.
Well... what do you think police and family are there for? Speak to his family and see what they say. If nothing, then report to the police. Likely he's all just drama. But as long as both know of your intention, you're in the clear when you ditch that psycho.
He'll probably stalk you for a bit. But as long as you get your word in before, then you'll be good.
Go through with the breakup. Do what is right for you. It is most likely just a psychotic manipulation tactic. If he succeeds, he will take advantage and do worse stuff down the road, possibly including your death or great bodily harm. If he really does hurt/kill himself then that is on him, not you. You are not his savior or keeper.
That’s a kind of abuse. You have to live your life and can’t be held hostage to him. Call a suicide prevention hotline and ask for help. You may also consider giving the police a heads up so that they perform welfare checks on him in the first few days to make sure he’s not harming himself.
Well i wish guys would say that to me but if ure talking about really thats bad but the guys I've been with and the one iam with right now wouldn't even say things like that in a way it means he loves you and never wants you to leave my boyfriend just says go with someone else i want some stuff like dont leave not tell me to fuck off with another guy assholes only some guys have a heart but some are very pathetic but your guy sounds like he loves you and never want to loose you
LOL Tell him "well, if I stay with you, I'll probably kill MYSELF" ! Shit like that isn't your problem. If you think he's remotely serious, I'd go talk to his parents and tell them what he said. Put them on alert that you're going to break up with. Maybe wait till he's home with them and text them both!
I would think it best to notify the parents first, not the police who are ill equipped to handle things like this. Or maybe just go to nami. org and develop some kind of plan with their support.
People can just say dump his ass but if something does happen, she’s not going to easily be able to brush this off because it “wasn’t her fault”. It’s going to be there causing lasting scars. Even the threat as it stands now might cause lasting anxiety.
