What to do with those guts feelings?

[Anonymous]

In June 2021 I've met a guy. Awesome energy magic meeting.
The guy was so enthusiastic, ready to start a beautiful relation with me, to compromise intensely.
I was dealing with a past traumatic relationship. I was honest with him but maybe it was hard to grasp my emotional state meanwhile I was very high on life.

We staid 4 months together, let it flow, beautiful until we fought and I was not as supportive to him as he was for me. I was just telling him I need to grow, I am not ready I need to travel and he was settling and telling me to do so with him.
We broke up, I left to my family in my native country.
After a month I message him, he was missing me. Few weeks later I message him again he then told me quite cold he was cutting ties with me.

I emailed him 2 other times through the year, one time just missing him another because I heard something bad had happened to him. He never replied.

I stayed here working on myself, quite bad, letting myself deal with emotions, I thought was the best to do.
Never went to him as the covid lock countries.

Today I still think of him, so many different ways, I guess because he did a lot of effort and helped me to reconnect with life. I don't think I marked his life materially as he did, my purpose back then was to give on a subtil level, mental, spiritual, which is harder to grasp but to me had important value.

Today I feel more balance , I worked on the stuff that were wrong about me, didn't heal it all of course.
I keep thinking he was a great partner. And I was shining back then with him.

What should I do? I heard he is building a great life and I feel low confidence and lower vibration: I didn't do great material accomplishment even tho I've developped myself too, beside crying him.
Its hard to carry on my life because I keep not wanting to forget him. I am so afraid to do more mistakes in life, misvaluing and live in regret for being impulsive and not seeing the big picture...

What do you think?

[SueShe]

Whatever your reasons were for behaving the way you did, you let your chance to be helped with your life go and there is no need nor is it useful to reminisce about the past and what could have been.

You have to concentrate on the present and on the future, not the past because you have to leave the past behind you. You are only hurting yourself emotionally by thinking of it.

Take up a hobby or join a club where you can meet people that share the same interests as you do. That will not only relieve you from the stress you put yourself in but it can also lead to diverting your attention to something else. Furthermore, by meeting new people, you can also create new friendships and share common interests.

If you don't forget the past you will just fall deeper into a depression and then you will need help from a specialist. Wake up and wipe the slate of the past clean. Don't think of your failed relation and remove anything that could remind you of it. Good luck.

[Avicenna]

It's hard to get back together with an ex, but why not contact him and see how he's doing

[Asker]

Thanks for the reply. It's true. Looking to the past I carry my fears. We often project our own visions of ideals on people. I believe it is important to face my fears and chaos to vibrate high again and attract whoever will fit to that vibe. Unknown or known. Of course it seems easier to just go to the seems to be comfort xD

[Wise4myage]

You should listen to your gut feelings, because their usually right.

[Iron_Man]

If you can’t handle the feelings on your own talk to a professional counselor and work it out with him

[Asker]

Thank you for your reply. Is it just to be strong enough to be above that? And not give a shit anymore?

[Iron_Man]

Whatever works for you

[Asker]

Have you ever tried a profesionnal counselor?

[Iron_Man]

Only two session for claustrophobic wihich I didn't have

[Asker]

🤣 👌 thought claustrophobia

[Iron_Man]

I'm using voice command it comes out how it comes out this is about you not about one word 🙄

[Iron_Man]

Why are you turning this question around on me it's almost like you're trolling

[Asker]

I think u took it personally yet I was trying to joke with you about the situation.
I just ask you because you suggest that to me and I was trying to get why because your second answer was very random.

[Iron_Man]

Well if I knew you I would understand if I saw a picture of you I can try to get a vibe off of it

[In_Trance]

I think you should seek professional help

[Asker]

I have hard time trusting in finding a good professional, conscious, as I am not sure they did a real inner work themselves.

[In_Trance]

I'd suggest you be a little more open-minded when you approach it. People study years for that occupation. Not every single one specializes in every single area however when you find the one that meets your requirements, it's not so much about trusting them it's trusting yourself

[Asker]

Sure about being open minded. Also to me years of studies won't change much if one therapist doesn't know is own psyche. Because that's the base of therapy, understanding projections. And it's one of the most important think they should do before putting tones of informations in there head. If the base isn't clean, someone who want to help people can be just a savior in a dramatic triangle and therefore is interactions can be highly biased.

[In_Trance]

It's not difficult to see that you've never been to therapy before.

Good luck