How do I break up with a man, ten years plus older than me, that will beg me to stay and what do I say?

[Anonymous]

I've dated this guy whom I worked with for about 8 months. I didn't want a relationship, or a sex buddy, but more of a good friend that I could flirt with. I told him this from the very beginning. Well three months into talking we ended up dating. Truthfully, I didn't want too, knowing my family would never approve, and I didn't share the same feelings for him and as time has gone, I've grown to like him very much but not love... But he loves me.
Im 25, and didn't want to be introduced to his kids or family, because I knew I didn't want it to go this far. He did put pressure on me to say " I love you " but it was while we were intimate, he would say " it's just in the moment" but I knew it wasn't true. I want to truly date men more my age.
When I tried to leave him once due to drama with family and my job, and being in a relationship was something I didn't want to add to my plate, he begged me, " please don't do this to me ". I have stayed committed to him, but my family set me up for a blind date, that he overheard on the phone while I talked to my mom. I had no idea she was gonna say that, I was on my way to work and called him, turned his volume down, so she wouldn't hear him. according to my family I'm single, I agreed, but I also have been looking for reasons to leave him.
I never wanted a relationship with him, let alone it go this far. I feel awful for what happened and what he heard. He was pissed, I understand that. I want to "break up "with him, but he will beg and he will think I have already started to talk to this guy. I haven't, but what do I say, and how am I to handle him begging me to not leave him. He had been kind to me in many ways, but I'm over the secrecy and lying to my family of where and who I am with. His feelings are far stronger than mine. He was married but they divorced years ago bc she cheated on him and they have two grown kids from 18 to 22 that live with him, he never met anyone in my family, I've met all of his

[TommyMountainFigure]

You could do a LOT worse than showing him a copy of your question.
I think it explains everything perfectly.

[Avicenna]

You need to be firm in ending it

[Avicenna]

Thanks for the mho

[Iron_Man]

Talk it out face-to-face

[Asker]

I want to give him what he deserves when breaking up with him and in do it in person but I know he'll drag it on for longer than need be, but also hell want to hold my hand and want me to comfort him, I'm 75% sure hell try or want me to kiss him if not for " one more time " then to try and persuade me that way..

[Iron_Man]

What will you do

[Asker]

I want to call him to avoid any physical contact. I'm going to tell him how this secret is too much to keep from my family. i don't know how to tell him that much feelings aren't the same for him, especially after the conversation he over heard. hell think I started talking to him. Already.
We talked a bit after what he overheard, but then started to laugh at the things I was saying, so I hung up the phone and went into work, he called me once, a few hrs after, but no contact since. I didn't answer and haven't contacted him at all.

[Iron_Man]

You better sleep on this

[Asker]

... This is far more complicated than what I wanted. I don't want to do him unjustly, but I don't know what to do from this point.

[Iron_Man]

Do you want to give him another chance

[Asker]

No, it would have never worked. I knew that, and just wanted to flirt have fun being single again not get wrapped up in another "relationship". I've thought of myself as single even mentioned a few times to him or talked to him many times that he wants more than I do, and I should have cut ties then, but he would reassure me that he was on the same page as me. I want out, I don't want to be in a relationship with him, never did, but he does deserve something.. I think...

[Iron_Man]

Well then you should tell him that I wish you the best

[In_Trance]

The same things you'd say to anyone else

[Asker]

Despite after accidentally overhearing the phone call?

[In_Trance]

Yeah

[Asker]

Wellllll this would be the first time I've had to breakup with someone, I've only had one other man I dated for 2.5 years and then single for 2 years. so what you say?

[In_Trance]

I say be straight into the point with him and stick to your guns. Keep it simple and then walk away. No contact thereafter

[Asker]

Ok, I can do that, I'll let him know we need to talk and then meet with him tomorrow and be straight forward. Thank you ! I appreciate your advice

[In_Trance]

Good luck

[Anonymous]

You just have to be strong and move on.

[Asker]

Can I do it over the phone? I do not want to break up in person. Hell try to hug on me and want to hold my hand. Is it ok timing to break up with him, after hearing the conversation he overheard