Girls, What does it mean when a woman cries when she tells her husband/future ex-husband that she spoke to a divorced lawyer?

[ClitLicker420]

My wife and I had been separated for just over a year now, it seems like within the past year she is very easily been annoyed by me. Like super easy and a hundred times easier than before our separation. It was almost like a flick of a light switch she went from a person that I couldn't get enough time with in life to a person that I can't wait for her to leave. For the past year she's taken an apartment about 50 minutes away from me, and we spend some time together since but very little. And then just today in a conversation she mentions that she spoke with a divorce lawyer about an upcoming divorce, and then when she was doing so she busted out in tears. What does this mean when a a woman cries and she's the one that's the initiator of that pain. I mean like for instance if I really wanted something, I wouldn't bust out crying when I announce it. If anything I would have a smile on my face or have a feeling of Happiness inside. So those are one of many things of a woman that confuses me any help on the subject would be appreciated.

[Bethany22]

Did you try to change any of the things that were annoying to her? If not, then maybe she's just sad that things didn't work out the way she wanted them to. Maybe she suddenly started getting angry that you can't read her mind and know what she wants you to do without her having to ask first. Most divorces initiated by women stem from the women feeling as though they no longer take up free rent in their mens's head like they seemed to in the beginning. Ask her if she needs help with housework, ask her if she wants to go out to dinner more often throughout the week, and see what happens. She probably told you she saw the lawyer today in order to share with you her feelings of how sad she is that things like that haven't improved since she first started complaining.

[ClitLicker420]

Hey dear, thanks for your reply. She says that the problem that she had with me was in relation to something that I eliminated, and it hence improved on something else. And she said I was better at that a while back ago and she even told that to a neighbor of mine whereas now she said there's zero Improvement on that subject line. So I'm not sure on which time in her life she was lying, when she told me that I improved on it and also told the neighbor that I improved on it, or now I'm not too totally sure upon.

But on the topic of changing though. There has been a handful of things that she's asked me to change over the years and either I've done a total 360 on those things that she's asked me to change, or I've been eliminated the problem altogether. But the one thing that I've asked her to change 18 years ago a little bit before we got married was the fact that she had an anger problem, which would lead us to a lot of fights and a lot of arguments, and then because she loved anger so much that we stayed into an argument for so long, and the argument wasn't even over anything all that important. I have learned about her that anger was a game. Because she would have an instance where she should have been really angry about something and she wasn't, and then turn around and get angry about something not important. Or maybe even get angry about something that she did and then blame it on me. She was good for a lot of that which was she had the same problem as me maybe even worse, but it was a bigger problem that I had the problem then she had the problem.

[ClitLicker420]

And on top of that, she was not a communicator she would expect me to read her mind. I was the one that wanted to communicate about things, and she's the one that just wanted to not talk about it. And that is one thing that I've always disliked about her is because you cannot work on and fix a problem unless you have full understanding of what's going on. Versus being a mind reader and assuming and then working on the wrong things.

On the subject of cleaning and housework, I did all of that anyway. Plus all the homeowner renovations, and all the outside maintenance as well as the inside maintenance. The only thing that she was responsible for was full-time working and cooking a meal which she was awesome at. My solution would have been barbecuing. Which she didn't care for that as much. She would not have really cared so much about us going out to eat as a suggestion because she didn't like going out to eat that much. Once a week was fine for her I was the one that was pushing for more going out and eating and she was pushing for more of the stay at home and eating.

[Bethany22]

Wow, sounds like you're a good guy. Sorry to hear that things aren't going well. Maybe she gets angry because she knows she can get away with it with you. Quite the username by the way

[ClitLicker420]

Well thank you my dear. Yeah I've thought about that numerous times about her just doing it because she can get away with it. I think a little bit of it is because she is exactly like her father. The same man that when we got together 18 years ago she told me to be nothing like. What I think now what that actually meant is is that I couldn't be like him because she wanted to be like him. Or so it seems. But thank you on the screen name compliment. I reflect my passions. And that's one thing about being freaking single it sucks. I can't do it.

[Anonymous]

She cried because she’s hurting. Just because she initiated the divorce doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt her for things to end. That’s a lot of memories and future plans just gone. It’s gonna hurt regardless of who ends things.


When I broke up with my boyfriend I cried a lot and ran out of my tissues lol. Because I cried so much he thought I would eventually go back to him, but that never happened.


Women just tend to feel the emotions of a breakup right away and then get over it sooner than men.

[ArtAbsurdist19]

Honestly? The fact that you felt a username of “clit licker 420” was a good idea says it all right there. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that it’s safe for me to assume that you struggle to respect and value women…? She will see this. Especially a wife! If you were my husband and I saw that username, that would confirm my bad and negative feelings about you making the fear inside very real. A husband shouldn’t advertise himself as that. She probably loves you still. That is why she cried. But she’s respecting herself more and putting self love as a priority to your love. Smart girl! ADVICE: Understand women and how they operate. Women live in fear unconscious and consciously. We need a MAN TO LEAD US and FEND FOR US. You can do that and you have a ride or die for life! A women who will love you even more for your mistakes. Secondly, remember this always:

A relationship is a place you go to GIVE. NEVER is it to be a place that you go to TAKE.

[ClitLicker420]

Okay first off, if I felt like a married man then I wouldn't have a screen name like that. It doesn't show I don't feel a disrespect for a woman. In my few months of attempting to date, I have found that I have way more respect than at least a lot of the women that solicit me on dating Networks, which only want to be paid for sex. And this is been it's got to be over 700 women. And I've turned every single one of them down. Why because I have too much respect for a woman then to pay for a woman's Priceless body with worthless Federal Reserve notes. And because a woman deserves better than that. So you cannot make that judge based upon that I have a screen name like that which means to me that I have my priorities straight, and also proves that I'm a giver versus a taker in a relationship. So you a little bit contradicted yourself there. Because you know what majority of men are like.

[ClitLicker420]

And second, it's hard to be a leader when you have a wife that's stubborn, and thinks that you can do everything on her own. And that won't let you lead that when you make decisions for her safety and her well-being, she gets mad at you because she wants to be making those decisions as if I didn't exist. So the philosophy on at least all women wanting men to be the leader is false because if a woman wants equality, then we should both be leading each other hand to hand. What you said signifies disrespect for a woman. Pretty much what you said is a woman cannot bend for herself. And I disagree with that philosophy wholeheartedly. I believe a woman can do exactly what a man can do if she so chooses. So hence why can't she be an equal to a man, hold his hand side by side and they both be leaders in a relationship?

[ClitLicker420]

And my choice of screen name is just a dumb screen name just like a lot of people out here have dumb screen names. I can kind of say the same about yours too. Considering I feel mine is an art. So if you recognize art why can't I recognize art? But if you go through everybody you screen name, I'll bet you find a lot of stupid pointless ones, cuz I do all the time. And you can't judge a person based upon their screen name. If I wasn't married man then I wouldn't be having a screen name like that. But right now in my life that stuff doesn't matter. I can recognize my art just as much as you recognize your art. So I just wonder if your answer got influenced by your assumptions based upon my dumb screen name.

[ClitLicker420]

And as far as my mistakes in the relationship with her, all the mistakes that I have ever made or have problems that I have, all have been addressed or eliminated or worked on substantially in the 18 years that I was with her. And I feel that I've done way more of my part in addressing what she says and applying it to daily life versus what she's ever done which 18 years ago when we were both younger and Dumber, and she's always had an anger problem. And I told her 18 years ago before we got married to work on her anger problem because it was going to be the falter of us. Fast forward 18 years she's done zero of what I've asked her to work on. And indeed it was the falter of us. So I do a ton of trying to lead or leading, and she thinks her way is better even though that it's not. And her finances are a situation to prove that. I try and lead and teach that we should buy things and pay things off hers is you should buy things make the minimum payment so you can afford to buy more things and interests gets tacked on which is more than what you paid and the next thing you know you're doing that across four credit cards now you got that across four credit cards and a car payment. So I try my ass off to be a leader and it has been a dismal failure because she thinks her way is better and that's being $40,000 in debt. Every time I try to open my mouth to be a leader it's an argument. And I've likened our relationship to being married to a drill sergeant. Cuz that's exactly what it is like on the subject of being a leader.

[ClitLicker420]

And on the subject of fending for my woman, I've done that on numerous bases and she hasn't liked it. Hence is when I knew one of her ex employers was taking advantage of her, not giving her the promotion that she wanted to go for, making her jump through hoops while dangling the carrot in front of her, and it turns out he hired somebody else for the position, anytime I try to fend for her she rejects it and gets mad at the fact that I tried doing it and that I was wrong and she doesn't see the fact that I was fending for her. Because her thinking has to be right.

[ClitLicker420]

And my relationship with her was never a place to take. Everything that what I've done and there's tons of examples laying around my house that are her wants and desires that were against mine. And that I've put my wants aside so she can try and be happy. Hence is why we have all the animals that we have and really I didn't want to one. But three dogs later in five guinea pigs later, you get my point. Hence is why there's a 2009 Chevy HHR that she doesn't want anymore sitting on my driveway versus a 2000 Chevy Blazer that I rebuilt pretty much totally myself, and had thousands of hours of Blood Sweat and Tears invested in it and thousands of dollars of money invested into it, so she can be safe. And she buys or wants to buy a little car that in a wreck should be dead in seconds. And for the reason that she wanted the little car instead of the older truck, she didn't even go on that business venture. So eliminated the need for us getting rid of the truck and buying the car. But there's hundreds of examples around my home that are daily reminders that I am way more of a giver than I am a taker. I'm a person that never gets what he wants, why because I'm too much of a giver. I know exactly with my faults what I should be doing in a relationship and I've provided all the Necessities for my woman.

[ClitLicker420]

But wouldn't the point that you made about her being a smart girl and putting her love for herself over my love, wouldn't that contradict what you said latter in your response that a relationship is a place of giving and not taking? She has no reason whatsoever to put her feelings ahead of mine. She's the one that's walking to destruct the marriage and the relationship and the friendship. And wouldn't that be more of a selfish move and being more of a taker than a giver if we're supposed to be givers according to you and your philosophy and I'm sure you believe in equality so meaning that should apply both to men and women. Or does it equality go only one way with you? Because that's not a equality.

[Anonymous]

She is probably feeling hurt.

[ClitLicker420]

Why would you feel hurt when you're the creator of the pain? I mean like cutting yourself why would you cry if you know there's going to be pain why do it in the first place if you know there's going to be pain?