Has anyone Found it Difficult to be Friends with an EX because of Resentment and Nearly No Resolve?

Question

*******I am Back and Forth with Him In Being IN A RELATIONSHIP, Trying to BE A FRIEND, and Taking Painful Breaks... Very Confusing right now. xx

AddylynnNightingale · Accepted Answer

It gets difficult when you don't let it flow naturally. A good friendship, it takes time, but when you look back at your great friends, Paris... Was it forced? It wasn't, right? If it can't come naturally it's doomed.

belle_kai · Accepted Answer

It couldn't work for me when I still love them

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Paris, unless you have had a child with your ex, why would you want to maintain a relationship?

Are you hoping to use the "friendship" to engineer your way back into a dating relationship? Doesn't that keep you hanging onto hope when you shold be letting go?

If you maintain a pure friendship, won't he eventually make comments about the new girl in his life? How will that make you feel? Won't he eventually say things that clearly indicate that his relationship with the new girl is sexual? Won't that be like sticking a knife into your wounds?

Will he invite you to his wedding? You want to sit and watch that happen?

If you start dating someone else, won't your new guy feel a bit jealous and suspicious about you maintaining a friendship with your ex? Or will you hide that from your new guy. . . and how wrong is that?

Think this through, Paris! And make a decision that is good for YOU!

Pinay_ako · Answer

I don’t force friendships nor relationships to happen. I lose interest pretty quickly to force something to happen if it’s not happening or no developments. Especially with an ex that I share a lot of memories with. If kids are involved, we have to have a common ground for us to be able to have a good relationship for the sake of our kids. Just because it didn’t work out between the two of us, doesn’t mean we can’t compromise to be in our kids’ lives forever. Remember, we used to love each other. So let that remind us that the past is real and we still can be good friends later… when we both are ready. But there’s really no reason to hate unless there was abuse involved. If him being in your life is hurting you still, let him go along with the pain, sometimes holding on is hurting us more than losing them. Hugs, Paris

William7489 · Answer

I’ve said this 1 million times but I’ll say it again. Realistically the word “friend“ does not belong in the words ex girlfriend, or ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry but you learn so much about a person dating them, being intimate with them and everything that comes with it, it’s impossible to flip a switch and act like that person has never seen you naked, without make up, when you wake up, when you’re in a bad mood, etc., and reasonably believe that you can just go back to the way it used to be. I have tried and it’s really really awkward. It’s best to really not contact each other for a period of time, let each other move on with their lives and then slowly try to talk to each other. Way too many emotions twisted together, especially if the relationship became sexual and it’s best for a clean break for both parties.

SickB3atZ · Answer

You are in the same situation i am in and i can relate fully to what you are experiencing , me being the guy have made some really fucked up mistakes that i am really trying to fix and she has unfortunately let intimacy out with her family and friends... but i forgive her and have let that go completely but she struggles to forgive and let my mistakes go... so the relationship is currently in a Love/Hate situation

RobT312 · Answer

I think it’s always been mixed for me. All depends how you end the relationship. If you end on good terms then it’s obviously easier. Regardless it’s good to take a break with that person for a while so you can move on and avoid resentment, etc

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Only one (of the 3 of them) so far. However, number 2 went bad on me a couple years ago after 37 years of friendship but it was based on money: my not giving her any to feed a stupid stray cat when she was flat broke and I was living off what little change I could find at the drive through windows at the mall every night!! I'm about to lose my house and I'm gonna worry about a stupid "stray" cat that's probably getting fed by dozens of other people that also think it's a stray?

Googlemyahoo · Answer

there's a reason they’re an ex. Mine cheated, lied used me. So I cut her off completely. Fucked up thing is our kids are in the same class. My wife knows her and they talk I just walk right by. The ex called out to me saying “Don’t care to say hello?”

I said “Thats right.” Kept going.

AsaKyo · Answer

I would just prefer not to have them in my life anymore if it ended on bad-terms. Even if it ended on good-terms, I still don't think I would want to because it would prevent me from moving on in life because we'd still have feelings and whatnot, I guess?

MrCage · Answer

Never doing such a thing again tbh. I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We got back together 1 year after we broke up. Everything went well for a month and then we broke up again. After 6 months we started talking and I remembered how painful it was everytime we broke up. I decided to end it before things went further. And now I believe its just better to let things go when you break up with someone even if it takes time.

TrueConfection · Answer

Outside of high school, I only have one ex and never saw or spoke with him again after getting engaged to my husband (not due to resentment, but due to respect for my husband).

weiner2022 · Answer

Depends on the situation. I’m a very loyal person once you earn my trust but you just completely break me, I disappear. Most of the time I find trying trying revamp a spark that just isn’t there more painful in the long run than just letting go. There comes a time you have to choose between recycling pain or moving forward.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Depends on the ex. I'm lucky that some if my breakups were more mutual and we stayed friends. I do have a couple of exes that treat me like I'm the biggest bitch to exist. Buuuut it's whatever.

AviatorTom · Answer

My ex-wife and I are still civil with each other. We've both been to a few family get-togethers and we text each other Happy Birthday on our birthdays.

NathanDavis · Answer

nope, not at all... we made our lives greater and richer to one another, not the opposite, so it was way easier

Guy13 · Answer

Nope. Once I know any chance of personal harm has passed, I’m fully out. Hey, one thinks breaks are good then mean it. You

DermalPunch · Answer

I never have and never will stay friends with an ex and won't be involved with people who do so.

DoctorSex · Answer

Why would anyone want to be friend's with an ex? Kind regards, DoctorSex

spartan55 · Answer

You haven't best your head against the wall enough yet.

Sixgunsound · Answer

As soon as someone ask I no longer care what they think or feel.

exitseven · Answer

E\very EX I ever had were people I never saw again.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Take the time to heal then move on.
what do you hope to gain from someone who doesn’t want to give you what you want. make room for your happiness dear.

I talk to my ex. because we have kids together.

we had a difficult breakup…took time for us both to heal…now we are in very good terms for the kids.

TroyDT2 · Answer

Nope. Resentment makes no sense to me. If it doesn't work for both of us, I would not want to prolong it.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Once this girl and I stopped talking we didn’t stay in touch and weren’t friends

Titanic1912 · Answer

It’s not hard. I’m friends with an ex and we still talk to this day.

msc545 · Answer

Absolutely. I have been mad enough at an ex that I never want to talk to them or see them again. An ex is an ex for a reason.

CubaPirate · Answer

Nah you just need to let it lay and move forward

pizzalovershouse · Answer

My exs were very cruel so no reason to be friends

Surely · Answer

I tried to stay friends with an ex until her then current boyfriend had a fit. He said that the only reason men talked to women was for sex! Even though we lived 50 miles apart.
Guess that is why he was divorced!

anton_dee · Answer

U break up coz there are differences which cannot be resolved over a long period of time. And thise differences will still be there after u break up. So what's the point in being friends if u ain't on the same page?

humanearth · Answer

I was forced to for the sake of my boy

Jennz6 · Answer

I don’t have any ex sorry Paris

Philyouup · Answer

it took a few years for me to forgive my ex. once forgiven, resentments dissipated. I did thin for my sons

loveslongnails · Answer

If the break-up is mutual, it's easier. If it's not, forget it.

Debbie14217 · Answer

not really

Has anyone Found it Difficult to be Friends with an EX because of Resentment and Nearly No Resolve?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Has anyone Found it Difficult to be Friends with an EX because of Resentment and Nearly No Resolve?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.