*******I am Back and Forth with Him In Being IN A RELATIONSHIP, Trying to BE A FRIEND, and Taking Painful Breaks... Very Confusing right now. xx
It gets difficult when you don't let it flow naturally. A good friendship, it takes time, but when you look back at your great friends, Paris... Was it forced? It wasn't, right? If it can't come naturally it's doomed.
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- u
Paris, unless you have had a child with your ex, why would you want to maintain a relationship?
Are you hoping to use the "friendship" to engineer your way back into a dating relationship? Doesn't that keep you hanging onto hope when you shold be letting go?
If you maintain a pure friendship, won't he eventually make comments about the new girl in his life? How will that make you feel? Won't he eventually say things that clearly indicate that his relationship with the new girl is sexual? Won't that be like sticking a knife into your wounds?
Will he invite you to his wedding? You want to sit and watch that happen?
If you start dating someone else, won't your new guy feel a bit jealous and suspicious about you maintaining a friendship with your ex? Or will you hide that from your new guy. . . and how wrong is that?
Think this through, Paris! And make a decision that is good for YOU!
I don’t force friendships nor relationships to happen. I lose interest pretty quickly to force something to happen if it’s not happening or no developments. Especially with an ex that I share a lot of memories with. If kids are involved, we have to have a common ground for us to be able to have a good relationship for the sake of our kids. Just because it didn’t work out between the two of us, doesn’t mean we can’t compromise to be in our kids’ lives forever. Remember, we used to love each other. So let that remind us that the past is real and we still can be good friends later… when we both are ready. But there’s really no reason to hate unless there was abuse involved. If him being in your life is hurting you still, let him go along with the pain, sometimes holding on is hurting us more than losing them. Hugs, Paris
I’ve said this 1 million times but I’ll say it again. Realistically the word “friend“ does not belong in the words ex girlfriend, or ex-boyfriend. I’m sorry but you learn so much about a person dating them, being intimate with them and everything that comes with it, it’s impossible to flip a switch and act like that person has never seen you naked, without make up, when you wake up, when you’re in a bad mood, etc., and reasonably believe that you can just go back to the way it used to be. I have tried and it’s really really awkward. It’s best to really not contact each other for a period of time, let each other move on with their lives and then slowly try to talk to each other. Way too many emotions twisted together, especially if the relationship became sexual and it’s best for a clean break for both parties.
You are in the same situation i am in and i can relate fully to what you are experiencing , me being the guy have made some really fucked up mistakes that i am really trying to fix and she has unfortunately let intimacy out with her family and friends... but i forgive her and have let that go completely but she struggles to forgive and let my mistakes go... so the relationship is currently in a Love/Hate situation
I think it’s always been mixed for me. All depends how you end the relationship. If you end on good terms then it’s obviously easier. Regardless it’s good to take a break with that person for a while so you can move on and avoid resentment, etc
Only one (of the 3 of them) so far. However, number 2 went bad on me a couple years ago after 37 years of friendship but it was based on money: my not giving her any to feed a stupid stray cat when she was flat broke and I was living off what little change I could find at the drive through windows at the mall every night!! I'm about to lose my house and I'm gonna worry about a stupid "stray" cat that's probably getting fed by dozens of other people that also think it's a stray?
there's a reason they’re an ex. Mine cheated, lied used me. So I cut her off completely. Fucked up thing is our kids are in the same class. My wife knows her and they talk I just walk right by. The ex called out to me saying “Don’t care to say hello?”
I said “Thats right.” Kept going.
I would just prefer not to have them in my life anymore if it ended on bad-terms. Even if it ended on good-terms, I still don't think I would want to because it would prevent me from moving on in life because we'd still have feelings and whatnot, I guess?
Never doing such a thing again tbh. I broke up with my ex 2 years ago. We got back together 1 year after we broke up. Everything went well for a month and then we broke up again. After 6 months we started talking and I remembered how painful it was everytime we broke up. I decided to end it before things went further. And now I believe its just better to let things go when you break up with someone even if it takes time.
Outside of high school, I only have one ex and never saw or spoke with him again after getting engaged to my husband (not due to resentment, but due to respect for my husband).
Depends on the situation. I’m a very loyal person once you earn my trust but you just completely break me, I disappear. Most of the time I find trying trying revamp a spark that just isn’t there more painful in the long run than just letting go. There comes a time you have to choose between recycling pain or moving forward.
Depends on the ex. I'm lucky that some if my breakups were more mutual and we stayed friends. I do have a couple of exes that treat me like I'm the biggest bitch to exist. Buuuut it's whatever.
My ex-wife and I are still civil with each other. We've both been to a few family get-togethers and we text each other Happy Birthday on our birthdays.
- u
nope, not at all...
we made our lives greater and richer to one another, not the opposite, so it was way easier Nope. Once I know any chance of personal harm has passed, I’m fully out. Hey, one thinks breaks are good then mean it. You
I never have and never will stay friends with an ex and won't be involved with people who do so.
Why would anyone want to be friend's with an ex?
Kind regards,
DoctorSex
You haven't best your head against the wall enough yet.
As soon as someone ask I no longer care what they think or feel.
E\very EX I ever had were people I never saw again.
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