Everything they say about true love was there with me and my first love. It’s a really long story so I won’t even bother to explain it all. Just please take my word for it when I say that I honestly never understood why it didn’t work out. He ghosted me for another girl when I genuinely felt that the only thing that was ”wrong” was that he was still hurt and hung up on his ex and wouldn’t admit it. After he broke my heart I understood. Sometimes you love somebody and you wish that you didn’t. Maybe he wasn’t ready, maybe a lot of things weren’t as they seemed. But I just felt so played because there wasn’t much for me to look at and learn from. To this day I feel that I did everything right and I firmly stand on that. So after a few years he hmu asking for forgiveness and a second chance. I couldn’t give him a second chance. Honestly, he hurt me so bad that I could barely stomach the thought of talking to him. My fight or flight reaction was to run. I had even seen him in person once and LITERALLY ran away. I felt like all I could do was just try to push the feelings of devastation down and try to ignore it. I think in the moments where he was apologizing I finally understood how he had felt years ago. I finally understood not wanting to love somebody anymore despite the fact that the love was always genuine. So I didn’t give him a second chance obviously. But I found out that after a while he went back to the ex who he was hung up on. Then later he and her broke up and it was obvious that she had hurt him…again. And then he goes back to the same girl he ghosted me for AGAIN. And it’s like watching history repeat itself except I had subtracted myself from the equation. And I see how it is on social media and the fact that he seemingly wants a good woman and it hurts tbh. I wonder why didn’t he appreciate me? I never hurt him, I never judged him, I never left him alone when he needed me, the worst thing I ever did was not forgive him after he broke my heart. So why?
Why didn’t my ex appreciate me but then will appreciate another woman treating him the same way I treated him?
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Also I think that it’s still wrong to hurt somebody who treats you good no matter how they look but I don’t have any issues in the physical department. I always have people telling me how pretty I am and he seemed very attracted to me as well. I take care of my hygiene and I’m not rich but I’m not broke either. So it’s like I didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with me. Although after he hurt me it took a long time to stop looking to blame myself
