My ex slept with two different women just two months after our break up?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I were together for 2 years and we broke up two months ago as we are not compatible. I didn't want a breakup but thought I'll let him go hoping he'll come back. He kept giving mixed signals but getting back together after my work situation was sorted - but I found out he slept with two other women and also with me a later but he said he felt like he was cheating on me (he told me himself). He now still thinks we are not right for eachother 😭 I'm so hurt because I feel like he played me by leading me on - why would anyone hurt the person they love?

[PrettyPriya]

He broke up, was lonely and wanted sex. That is what I gather. I don't really believe that there is more to this than what is on the surface. Since he was your ex at that point, he can do what he wants, including sleep around. That is what happens when you break up.

I know it isn't easy to have that happen. You would think it would take some time to get over you. He may not actually be over you and just rebounded with someone (or two in this case).

There isn't much you can do or anyone can say. My best advice is to keep him out of your life. You broke up for a reason. He says you are not meant to be together. He is clearly going to keep using you if you let him and just hurt you further.

Time is what is needed here to heal. When I say time, I mean time to yourself. Don't include him in your life anymore. It is not going to bring anything positive in my view.

[Asker]

Thank you! I understand that but why leading someone on by giving false hope when it was said again and again that friends with benefits is not acceptable. It's so cruel

[PrettyPriya]

It is very cruel. All the more reason to stay clear of him. People like that don't change. If it were me, I would look at it like I dodged a bullet, no matter the feelings I once had. He didn't care like you cared about him. That much is obvious.

[Asker]

Yes! Thanks for replying

[PrettyPriya]

You are welcome and sorry to hear about the breakup. Never easy. Hope you are doing okay and good luck to you.

[Pegases]

People use sex to cope/avoid uncomfortable emotions all the time. It deosnt sound like he was trying to hurt you, just sounds like he has a hard time managing his emotions and that in turn hurt you. For men this is common, because we rarely have outlets outside of therapy to be open about emotions, so most resort to sex after breakups. I think is just as common with women now too.

[Asker]

Thank you for replying but he lied to me at first about sleeping with others and kept leading me on by giving me hope about getting back together. Why? When I said I definitely don't want to have sex if there's no relationship. I just don't understand why anyone would do that?

[Pegases]

Not everyone has a moral compass. That's a harsh reality if life. One of the biggest mistakes we often make is assuming everyone thinks the same way we do. So take it for what it is, a lesson of human nature. When people show you who they are, don't take it personally when they do things that you wouldn't do. Just know you deserve better. And walk away from that situation.

[Guy13]

They don’t know what love is. Eros is not Love. Agape is Love.

[Asker]

Agreed! I can't stop beating myself for being so stupid.

[Guy13]

We are human... our PhD is in "I can't believe I did that". At least mine is...

[Asker]

I'm with you on that

[Guy13]

👍 👍

[Avicenna]

He doesn't love you and he's probably not being honest with you.

[Asker]

I feel stupid to have fallen into this trap

[In_Trance]

Stop paying attention to your ex and move on

[Asker]

Yup! It's time