I'm still in love with my abusive ex. What should I do?

[jewel]

I just want to forget him but also still in love with him :( It's been 6 months since we broke up. But still the same feelings...

[burlen]

It's important to prioritise your safety and well-being. I know it can be incredibly difficult to navigate feelings of love for an abusive ex-partner. That said, your mental, emotional, and physical safety should trump over whatever feelings you still have for him.

I suggest you:

Recognise healing takes time: You should be patient with yourself. Take small steps towards healing, whether it's seeking professional help or spending time with supportive loved ones.

Cut off contact: Immediately cutting off all contact with your ex can help prevent you from getting sucked back into any negative emotions or feelings. This can help you begin to detach yourself from the relationship and focus on moving forward.

Seek professional help: Speak with a therapist, counselor, or other mental health professional. These professionals can provide guidance, support, and resources to help you navigate your feelings and cope with the abuse you have experienced.

Remind yourself of the abuse: It's important to remind yourself of the abuse you experienced in the relationship. Make a list of the abusive behaviours and read it whenever you feel yourself slipping back into feelings of love for your ex-boyfriend.

Seek support from loved ones: Speak with family and friends who can provide emotional support and guidance. Remind yourself that you are not alone and that people care about your well-being.

Identify healthy relationships: Identify healthy relationships in your life, whether it's with family members, friends, or co-workers. Remind yourself that a healthy relationship involves mutual respect, trust, and love.

Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. This can include things like exercise, getting enough sleep, eating well, and doing things that make you happy.

Avoid contact with your ex: Avoid all contact with your ex-boyfriend. This can help you detach from the relationship and move forward.

Educate yourself: Learn more about abusive relationships and how to recognise the signs of abuse. This can help you identify unhealthy behaviours in future relationships.

[MaazHussain]

I'm sorry to hear that you're still struggling with your feelings for your ex, especially given that the relationship was abusive. It can be difficult to move on from an abusive relationship, as the abuse can create strong emotional ties and a sense of dependence on the abuser. However, it's important to remember that the abuse was not your fault, and that you deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship.

Here are some steps you can take to help you move on from your ex and start to heal:

• Cut off contact: One of the most important things you can do is to cut off all contact with your ex. This includes phone calls, texts, social media, and in-person communication. If you have mutual friends, you may need to limit your interactions with them as well.
• Seek support: Consider reaching out to friends, family, or a therapist for support. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can help you process your emotions and gain perspective on the situation.
• Practice self-care: Make sure to take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. This can include activities like exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and engaging in hobbies or activities that bring you joy.
• Educate yourself: Learn as much as you can about abuse, including the warning signs and how to identify healthy versus unhealthy relationships. This can help you avoid getting into another abusive relationship in the future.
• Consider professional help: If you're struggling to move on from your ex or are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide tools and strategies to help you heal and move forward.

Remember that healing from an abusive relationship takes time, and it's essential to be patient and kind to yourself. You deserve to be in a healthy, loving relationship, and with time and effort, you can overcome your feelings for your ex and find happiness and fulfilment in your life.

[EmyyWolf]

Dude.. you’re 45.

Why even bother anymore 😑😑.

You can’t even have kids at 45 anymore 😑😑.

WTF are you even trying to do? 😒😒

So pointless trying to find love at 45. 😒 At 45 people have more than 500 previous partners, sexual partners, they have countless STDS, they carry the BLACK PLAGUE at that point. 🖕

They carry more baggage than you need. You’d have to find someone wrinkly and with grey hairs on their balls, and grey hairs sticking out their nose.

At that age. PERSONALLY. I’d just get 3 dogs and 3 cats. Live at the beach alone. Have grandkids visit me at my beach house. 🏝️ Visit me at my Island. Find a hobby like art.

Im not about to find some WRINKLE BALL STD Bag, idiot, just cause I feel alone 😒 You enter the world alone, and you exit the world alone.

[EmyyWolf]

You don’t even produce EGGS anymore at 45!!
You’re in menopause!! What The? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[Jackblue]

That's not very nice.

[EmyyWolf]

@Jackblue
It’s the truth @jewel

[desidoll]

It is not an easy thing to do. You may take longer than that to recover after being controlled and manipulated for so many years. Maybe you can seek therapist to help you but afterall, it is all depends on you to let things go. I just escaped from my abusive parents 10 years ago and the scar is still there. I don’t think we can completely over it though, but get better yes.

[Guy13]

It will take longer than 6 months to be over anyone once you have formed a deep emotional and physical connection. This may be a lifetime struggle but eventually you will be at a place where other flourishing romantic relationship will be possible. I went without girlfriend or for almost two years after one loss. It is a very difficult thing but I think you will come through quite well in the end.

[DaveJord]

Get a therapist and talk it over with them... I do not think you are in place to trust yourself with this guy.

[OfMiceandMen]

It is common for someone to still love an abusive person after breaking-up, bc it wasn't always abusive. I'm sure he had a nice side, which people tend to remember, however, there are guys out there that will make you feel good about being in a relationship 100% of the time and won't physically or mentally abuse you.

[BJP21]

you're going to need therapy intervention. He hurt you. Do not accept being hurt.

[Mayo503]

That’s a hard one…
Do you think he will ever change…?
And are you willing to put up with it…?

[AdithyaR]

Therapy helps.

[Anonymous]

Get a therapist that can help you out.

[teddybearthefirst]

Taste another food