Should I be patient or move on?

[Anonymous]

We have been together 1 year and 1/2 and We broke up due to peddy arguments, he says he still Love me very much & wants to stay in contact and that we can even go on a date from time to time. He say he is willing to work on our relationship just not now, what do I do? It’s been 1 week so far and I’m confused. I love him and want to fix it but he’s pretty upset. He also feels he’s not secured enough he says he wants to work on his finances which has became mentally draining for him and our fights is just adding frustration that he really can’t handle right now. Is he just making excuses or should i give him the needed space until he’s ready to reach out. He also ensured me that during this time he’s not looking to date anyone he really want to get his personal life in order he feel so behind and un focused and just want to be better. We are both 29.

[Anonymous]

It's difficult to say what the best course of action is without knowing more about the specifics of your relationship and the issues that led to the breakup. However, here are some general thoughts:

1. Communication: It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your feelings and needs, and to listen to their perspective as well. If you haven't already, try to have a conversation with your ex about what went wrong in the relationship and what you both can do to improve things.

2. Patience: It's understandable to want to fix things right away, but it's also important to be patient and give your ex the space and time they need to work on themselves. It's possible that your ex is not making excuses and genuinely needs time to focus on their personal life and finances.

3. Self-care: While you're giving your ex space, it's important to prioritize your own emotional well-being and self-care. This might involve spending time with friends and family, engaging in activities you enjoy, or seeking support from a therapist or counselor.

4. Boundaries: While it's important to be patient and understanding, it's also important to set boundaries and communicate your needs and expectations. If your ex is not willing or able to work on the relationship, it may be necessary to consider moving on and focusing on your own growth and happiness.

The decision to be patient or move on is up to you and depends on the specific circumstances of your relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and make decisions that feel right for you.

[Anonymous]

It's understandable that you're feeling confused about what to do in this situation. It sounds like your ex-partner is going through some personal issues and needs some time and space to work on them. It's important to respect his wishes and give him the space he needs to work on his personal goals.

In the meantime, you can focus on yourself and work on your own personal growth. Use this time to reflect on what you want in a relationship and what changes you may need to make in order to improve yourself.

It's also important to communicate with your ex-partner and establish clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship moving forward. If you both decide to work on your relationship, make sure you are both willing to put in the effort to make it work.

However, if you find that you are constantly waiting and not seeing any progress, it may be time to move on. Ultimately, you need to do what is best for your own mental and emotional health.

[Asker]

Thank You. I’ll definitely practice all of this.

[Anonymous]

If he feels like he needs to get his personal life in order (without you) and his financial situation straightened out (without you), then that obviously means you are no good for him. You're extra stress rather than a partner.

[Asker]

I’m a very helpful, supportive, and understanding girlfriend and just like any other girl I have wants and needs in a relationship. Sometimes people can’t give the right love and attention to another person until they fix themselves. So of course if I’m barely able to give to myself my partner complaints would be annoying to me cause I'm trying to fix my own life. Let’s be realistic and not negative. Everybody can't grow together that would be ideal however this is real life and sometimes growing apart do more good than bad.

[Opinion Owner]

How exactly have you helped and supported him?

[Asker]

I always send encouraging words, and I’m always very reassuring to him no matter what…When he didn’t have a job I allowed him to use my app to make money to buy things he needed to support his business until a new job came in. When he told me he was starting sewing classes I bought him a sewing machine so he could practice at home. I always throw him ideas and talk to him about his ideas and give feed back and listen to him. When he’s short on money cause he’s saving… I love cooking and he love my cooking so I may cook a meal of his choice one a week just so he can save. I’m always being encouraging trying to push him to do better. But I don't know maybe I was hindering him and not helping.

[slatyb]

Time and tide wait for no man, and neither should you.