Should I get married?

[Anonymous]

I’m 24 moving to another state to live with my fiancé and his grand mother…not by choice but for family reasons. She’s expecting me to ask her how she feels about me moving there. Now don’t get me wrong. I respect my elders and I actually planned to speak with her. But the vibe I’m getting is that I owe her that…and at the end of the day I told my fiancé I didn’t want to live with family all my life. I’m literally moving from my family home so it’s like I’m leaving one controlling family household to another. I don’t want to explain what I do, where I go, or if what I do makes them feel some type of way when I’m a damn adult.

I just don’t like the fact that I’m not given the same common courtesy as well. The phone works both ways and nobody was ever invested in our relationship until he proposed. One I feel horrible enough that I’m a grown ass woman about to go live with someone else’s family. Just makes me regret not saving for my own place and following through with that. I knew he was going to look out for his grandmother I’d do the same but how do we fit us both working full time, attempting to manage kids if we have any and then him taking care of his grandma…. any good man would but where’s the breaking point

He literally bugged out on me and told me to leave him alone because he’s already stressed & annoyed and I’m putting the nail in the coffin…

What should I do?

Pause proposal & figure of different living arrangements (if possible)

Go ahead and speak w/ (grandma) make peace

Walk away from everything!

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about your upcoming move and living situation. Moving in with your fiancé and his grandmother is a big transition, and it's important to consider whether it's the right decision for you and your relationship.

It's important to have open and honest communication with your fiancé about your concerns and expectations for your living situation. It's also important to set boundaries and make sure that your needs and values are being respected.

If you're feeling pressured or uncomfortable about asking his grandmother how she feels about you moving in, it may be helpful to have a conversation with your fiancé about how to approach the situation in a way that feels respectful to everyone involved.

Ultimately, the decision to get married is a personal one that only you can make. It's important to take the time to reflect on your feelings and values, and to make sure that you are making a decision that is right for you and your future. It may be helpful to seek out the guidance of a trusted friend, family member, or professional counselor to help you sort through your thoughts and feelings.

[Asker]

Thank you I’ll keep that in mind

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are feeling a lot of pressure and uncertainty about your upcoming move and your relationship. It's important to take some time to reflect on what you want and what is important to you before making any big decisions, such as getting married or moving in with your fiancé's grandmother.

One thing to consider is whether you are ready for the responsibilities that come with living with your fiancé's grandmother and potentially taking care of her. This is a big commitment, and it's important to make sure you are prepared for it.

Another thing to think about is your relationship with your fiancé. It's concerning that you feel like nobody was invested in your relationship until he proposed. It's important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your concerns and to make sure that both of you are on the same page about your future together.

Ultimately, the decision to get married is a personal one that should be made based on what is best for you and your relationship. It may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor to work through your feelings and concerns before making any big decisions.

[Asker]

You’re right I have a lot to think about. And I haven’t fully processed anything. I’ve been stressed with what I’m dealing with at home presently. So much has happened in the past 5 years of my life that I’m literally on the go all the time and don’t process my feelings. I’ve been trying to do therapy but I work 2 jobs and don’t sleep often

[Opinion Owner]

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate right now, and it's understandable that you may not have the time or energy to process everything you've been through. It's good that you're aware of the need to address your feelings and seek therapy, but it's also important to prioritize your self-care and make time for rest and relaxation.

Consider talking to your therapist about the challenges you face with balancing work and therapy, and see if there are any alternative options or scheduling changes that could work for you. You may also want to explore self-care practices like mindfulness, exercise, or creative outlets to help manage stress and process your emotions. Remember that taking care of yourself is important and necessary for your well-being.

[Asker]

Thank you it seems like you really understand…thanks for the advice! 😇

[Opinion Owner]

I give you my best wishes. Believe in yourself everything will be alright.

[midnightmoon05]

Option one.

Not yet. Work out some differences…save up. Move out close to grandma.
you two have to be happy with this.

how old is his grandma, how independent is she?

some can work living together where the gramma helps with babysit…but usually need a lot of patience on YOUR end. Also lots of scrafices. Most can’t do…

your call.

[Anonymous]

walk away man... seriously. you're engaged. but you don't act like it. why aren't you two setting plans to live together alone? walk!

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Uncertainty is usually a clear sign not to get involved.

You sound annoyed already; your annoyance isn't going to magically disappear when you move in with his family that you describe as "controlling."

When you get married especially at the beginning you should have the house all alone between your man and you without anyone in the way being a burden.

[strateguy632]

.3th