Should we get married?

Question

So I was talking to my boyfriend of almost 8 years about making and setting a date. He told me I can make and I brought it up to his attention recently. So he was saying how he wanted to wait another 2-3 years and I'm like we just talked about this and I told him I didn't wanna wait that long for marriage. He keeps talking about stock investments and getting money even though we both make good money. Together we'd make 6 figs but anyway, he saw I was mad because the decision feels one-sided and texted me later saying I could set a date soon. So it feels forced and like he says/feels one way and does something else... I feel it should be a joint decision than just me.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

based on that alone I'd say get married. If you think he's being honest that finances is the issue. Maybe talk to a wise counselor about finances... parent or such or do dave ramsey together, etc.. and see that it works.

I understand where he's coming from in that regard. This is all expensive and I think what he is saying is... I don't want the financial stress, I don't want to fail, and that's good. So heed the warning. Marriage, children, and finances alone can create a lot of stress and that's what blows up relationships. You have to work together effectively.

If there's othe reservations, try to talk about them

SnowedIn · Accepted Answer

I'm not sensing forced. Here's my suggestion: call the bluff. Pick the date and order the invitations. Make an announcement to your family. If he has reservations, they'll come out then. Otherwise you'll have your date.

If, however, what you're really trying to ask is whether you should marry him at all, then that doubt is of much larger importance than the date. If you do have doubt and it's coming from this date issue, then I'm concerned for you both and perhaps you need to put the brakes on the whole thing.

serious_miss419 · Accepted Answer

If he doesn’t want to, then That’s that. If you want to, then that’s that. If you both have spoke to each other about this - then that’s that. What more can be done or said?
Your side of this sounds like that he does not trust women or he has some un healed sh! t he needs to clear up.
In my experience, a man won’t change for a woman, he will only change if and when he is ready. if he is this way now, imagine how he will be when there is kids around………
Girl, leave that ring on the kitchen counter and take your things, move on if your wanting more.

XHopelessRomanticX · Accepted Answer

8 years of dating and still not committing? At this point, I don’t think he ever will. Whoever loves money never has enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with their income.

Summeroflove · Answer

Marriage is a very important and big decision but I also think that 8 years is a long time. Plus if you wanted to have children…. Waiting too long could also jeopardize that.

You can’t force a guy to marry you. Bur you can also figure out if you see a future with him or if he is just wasting your time

Guy13 · Answer

I’m not trying to be negative but it sounds like you are in love with Mr. Noncommittal. What’s really going on here? Have you ever had that discussion? This is duper abnormal. How old is he anyway.

Vikkrram · Answer

Your relationship is 8 years long what now he is waiting for? Money he can earn after your marriage also but once time would fly it won't come back.

I think you both earn good, yes it's good to think about future but besides money there are also things to be settle down.

pinkflamingo92 · Answer

Honestly it is a decision that needs to be made… if marriage is your goal and not his he needs to let you know so you can achieve that goal with someone else… 8 years is a long time… if he’s not ready after 8 years maybe do some reevaluating just my opinion

JustinTheGreat · Answer

It should definitely be a joint decision but after 8 years, it’s weird to me that he doesn’t want to get married already.
If you’re both financially stable and can afford it, then why not? He’s talking about stock investments but there’s no guarantee that those stocks will bring in money. That could be money that’s potentially wasted when you could just use it towards a wedding

Anonymous · Answer

He's actually smart and the moment you said stock market i knew what he was trying to do. He's hoping to win enough money in the stock market to pay for the wedding but the flip sides are 1. He would need to invest a lot in order to make that happen and 2. There's also a possibility he could lose that money also

tiajoka · Answer

I don’t think you should even be dating. Unless you’re a minor, being in a relationship for over two years without at least being engaged is a waste of time.

Anonymous · Answer

After 8 years, I'd be inclined to set a date and run with it. He probably feels there's no rush. I'm guessing you want things in place for the next phase.

Kyyroz · Answer

Lol. 8 years and he still isn't ready? You'll stay unmarried forever.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

No! There is absolutely no point to marry if you both love each other! Once a magnificent ceremony became legality.

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Hope he dumps you and find a better caring woman.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Only an idiot of a man gets married in this day in age.

Preeti161101 · Answer

Yes 🥰

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