Is my ex doing this on purpose? Is this targeted towards me? If so, why?

[Anonymous]

So I kind of what an outsider perspective. I recently called off the engagement with my ex. I loved him very much, but the disrespect on his end was too much for me.

Anyways recently he posted selfie of him and this new girl (looking very cosy with each other). I was so mad that I lost it. I didn't dm him, but I tweeted how "cheaters stay cheaters", (I know, I should have just ignored it, but I couldn't handle it at that moment). About an hour after I posted it, then he deleted it.

Anyways about three days later, he then posts the song "there you go" and captions it "but there you go".

One of the things he used to always compliment me about was me being "pale" and how he really liked that. Then two days ago he posts "where are the f pale white girls at?"

Do you think he is trying to get a reaction out of me? Why is he doing this? He was the one that caused the relationship to end. So, is this all directed at me? If so, why?

Also ps, he was my first everything really. He was my first love as well. So yes, I still check on him because those feelings are still there. I'm still trying to work past this. I honestly want personal closure, so this is why I'm asking this question. Your perspective?

[Exterminatore]

Wait a min. You said you broke off the engagement, but that he caused the relationship to end. Sounds like you ended it. If you didn’t want him anymore, why do you care?


If I dumped a girl any feelings I had for her would leave with her. I wouldn’t care who she was with or how fast she was with them. In fact she would be deleted and blocked on every account I have. Can’t put something in the recycle bin and get made when someone else takes it out.

[nawtee_me]

Why do you let him live rent free in your head like that? You called it off so let it go. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. You broke it off because he had to much disrespect for you. So let that be that and put it behind you. Forgive him and move on.

[White_Widow]

You say it's his fault that it ended. But you called it off and actually ended the relationship. So leave it behind. You don't get to end a relationship and then be angry about what he does or doesn't do. Block him, ignore it and move on.

[Asker]

The reason I ended it was because of his blatant disrespect to me. He continuously looked at other girls on ig, threw my rape back in my face whenever we argued as a way to justify his actions, he would make fun of me in front of his mum, his would walk away from me and make me look stupid following behind him (because it was a foreign country for me). He admitted to jerking off to my sa story, and physically compared me to his exes. Just before the breakup, he kept lying to me about one of the girls he followed being a past fling or ex, when all I wanted was honesty. I travelled halfway across the world for him, was ready to lose all my friends and family for him, had so many people turn on me, was ready to have nowhere to go back to after seeing him, and he still treated me like this. Then when I came back to deal with all the mess I left behind, I was applying for places to rent, as well as applying for extra jobs so I could be working 3 so he could spend more time here with me, without the stress of needed to spend all his money. So yes, I do have a right to be angry. Because I did so much for him, then he put me through a roller coaster, then is seemingly posting crap things about me online, and trying to make me feel like shit. Now I'm not going to say that there weren't good times or that I don't love him. So of course, I'm still trying to get closure and move forward. He was my first. I loved him with everything. I was going to give up everything. So it kills when it's coming from the person you thought felt the same.

[White_Widow]

I never said you don't have a right to be angry about your past relationship. I said you don't get to be angry about what happens after.

It's good you ended the relationship reading your story. But you need to move on and not check up on what your ex is doing. You need to get back on your feet, tale care of yourself. Your ex isn't worth your energy.

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I mis-interpreted. I just feel like it's really unfair. Like, why does he get to slam me online, or try and make me feel a certain way, when I had done a lot for him? It just really hurts. I just wish he would see what he's done. Like just acknowledge it upon himself. But it's almost like saying something to a brick wall.

I really want to move forward. I know there is a lot of pain I need to go through to get past it. It's just a little painful he is doing all of this. Thank you x

[White_Widow]

I understand that it's hard, just try to not subject yourself to his slander. That's why I said block him, ignore him, he is not worth your energy anymore.

You are better off alone, just keep that in mind. You're stronger than you think. Good luck.

[Danny_dan92]

Exactly

[Exterminatore]

@asker

It sounds like on some level you have a problem with accountability.

You say you ended it, but that he caused it. No you made a choice.

You said he’d walk away and make you walk after him. No. You chose to walk after him. No one put a gun to your head.

Bear in mind I’m not chastising you here, but am trying to get you to realize what you are saying. You at the end of the day are responsible for what you choose to do or not.

[Exterminatore]

Also. Why is it girls date a complete and total A hole, then complain what a bad guy he is? They knew he was an a hole long ago. Lions don’t behave like a giraffe. A holes don’t act reasonable. Can’t expect a turd of a human being to be an awesome dude. Goes against their nature.

[itsalyssaagain]

You want me to be reaaaallllyyy honest with you…. Yes he’s purposely doing that and the way he’s handling the break up serves as a good reminder of why you left him. He sounds very childish.

[boggboss]

He is doing this because he knows you are keeping tabs on him

[Asker]

That's what I was thinking too. But recently I've been giving him zero hints that I am. So do you think he's still assuming it?

[boggboss]

Yeah I do

[Danny_dan92]

If his treatment towards you was unbearable then why tf do you care if he’s dating another girl? Get your head out your ass, he’s her problem now. Not yours

[Anonymous]

I think garbage attracts garbage, so you might deserve each other no matter how you try to pretend otherwise.

[Asker]

Why do you feel that was necessary to comment?

[Opinion Owner]

To make you know that you're actually fit for each other.

[Asker]

okay

[SirJohn42]

Just block the immature guy.
It sounds like he is playing games with your heart.
he's an ex move on. he's not worth your time or space.

[Anonymous]

Why are you even looking at his photos? Move on!

[Asker]

Look, as I said in the post, I still have strong feelings for him. It's not that easy to just "forget him". Not if I was so in love with him that we even got engaged because I asked (which was stupid looking back on because clearly I was more in love than he was). I'm just trying to get closure and understanding. I want to be able to move forward without him slandering me online, or perhaps trying to get at me? I don't know. But either way, yes I still have strong feelings. But I've been doing a lot better with it recently. But it's not as easy to just "move on". Not if you love this person with everything. Not if you ran away from home and travelled half way across the world for him. Not if you were applying to work three jobs to sustain a home for the both of us. Again, I shouldn't have done those things. But I truly loved him. So now it's about closure, understanding and moving on