Why does my ex do this?

[sopkat23]

I have an ex that I dated for two months in 9th grade. We had a very on and off relationship afterwards. He cheated on me and was the one who broke up with me many times. He is friends with my best friend and kissed her once. He told me he loved me a year ago and we kissed but, it didn't feel the same with me so I broke it off and moved on. During my senior year, he made my life miserable. He lied about my virginity telling the whole school I had sex with this kid. He told his friend group that I am a manipulative bitch (so sweet) and that if anyone says my name he will cut them off. When he had a girlfriend they would stalk and amylase my tik toks. Hey said I was actual garbage. Recently, him and his girlfriend broke up. All I said about it was I hope he was okay. We talked yesterday night, he was telling me that I am awful and he hopes I die. I told him that it has been four years now and he really needs to move on. We were talking normally, I told him he deserved better than a girl who cheated on him and that I dont hate him. He also asked me if I hated him and I said no. We were young and stupid. I have also let go of the past and my anger for him. But for some reason he despises me. He can be sweet than he goes and be an asshole again. I was being nice and he just called me awful and disgusting. Why isn't he over it? Why can't he let go when I didn't even do anything to him? I cared and loved him but, it just didn't work out. Can someone please explain to me how this guy is so torn up from something that happened four years ago.

Updates

+1 y

Just to clarify about the cheating thing, He went camping and he flirted with this random girl while snapping me that he misses me and then when we broke up his friend told me that he left me for that girl because he was in love with her (she did not feel the same way). It is a shitty thing but, I viewed it as cheating some people wouldn't

[Anonymous]

Why do you even keep the lines of communication open with someone who treats you like that? From what you’ve posted all I can see is a man treating you like garbage and not only does he get a slap on the wrist, but praised. “I told him he deserves better”... really? This guy who’s smeared your name, called you horrible things, wished badly upon you, kissed your best friend, and cheated on you, that’s the man that deserves to be rewarded with a great woman? I don't know if you’re just a shy and quiet person, or I don't know maybe you’re afraid of confrontation or the aftermath of standing up for yourself, but at least respect yourself enough not to let anyone treat you like shit and walk all over you. It’s great that you’ve healed and don’t feel resentment for him, but you still have a lot of growing to do if this is how you let men treat you.

[sopkat23]

His little friend was the one who snapped him a photo of me and he started typing. He was saying mean things and I just didn't want to entertain him. He is really not my problem just causes a lot of problem between my friend and I since she is a connection to him.

[Opinion Owner]

If your friend still talks to him knowing how he’s treated you then that is not a good friend. You probably won’t agree with that and that’s fine, but it’s true. A real friend would never maintain a relationship with any guy who is being shitty to you, especially if he messes with your friendship whatsoever.

[sopkat23]

I 100% agree with you, I dont consider her as may best friend for a long time now. But it is hard to stop being friends with her. I am just waiting till she has no use to me anymore. Which is mean but she has done some questionable things

[sopkat23]

and the one who send the snap. She isn't my friend just his little minion

[Opinion Owner]

Take it from someone who stayed friends with the wrong girl for 13 years — there will never be a right time to cut her off. My friend did every backstabbing thing under the sun to me and I always justified or made an excuse to keep her in my life. But you have to realize you are only hurting yourself and enabling her to mess up with you again. At you guys’ age, her actions are set in stone traits that she’s spent her whole life developing, so she simply will not see her wrongdoings and probably gaslight you into feeling like you’re the one in the wrong. I totally get that you aren’t ready or willing to just cut ties with her, but at best I would at least advise withdrawing slowly. Why wait for her to hurt you again and that be the last nail in the coffin? You see the actions and behavior, it’s toxic. As for the girl who sent the snap, I would legit block her. All of these negative people and situations are just emotional leeches, and as you get older you will desire peace. That means getting rid of anyone who jeopardizes it.

[sopkat23]

you are honestly so right, I have my other friends saying the same thing and as for that minion. I tend to ignore her and not start issues I am 18. I dont need to stoop to anyone's level

[spartan55]

Why do you even bother? Guy sounds like a total fuckhead...

[sopkat23]

He was a sweet person before this but, he got meaner since I dated someone close to him for two years.

[spartan55]

Great, smell ya later.

[Avicenna]

He’s a bad, immature person

[sopkat23]

ik he is. I just dont understand why he can't move on like a normal human

[In_Trance]

Block him

[sopkat23]

he texted me from one of his minion's phone. I would never let him back in, I just want him to understand his feeling are legit only his. He has grown obsessed at this time