How long does it usually take you to get over someone?

Question

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Good, question. For me it takes me less than 48 hours to move on honestly. But you always think back and ask yourself, WTF really happened? Like it could have been so amazing, but WTF happened so abruptly?

Most my break ups more less slowly just came to conclusion without much fanfare. It was good and it was fun, and it worked... but over time it just slowly stopped working and by the time it ended you had closure.

But then there are those few were it absolutely amazing and then one day without warning it all just blows up and you are stuck wondering WTF really happened?

Those are the ones you never get any real closure with, and they stick with you. I mean you move on pretty quick, but weeks and months later you still are asking yourself WTF happened? So honestly, I think everyone has one or two of those relationship where you easily move on from, but you never really get over or have closure.

But as any experienced dater will tell you, at some point you just stop wasting your energy over it. It ended the way it ended because they were not who they said they were, or it was not what they made you believe it was. I am past being hurt by it honestly, but still just leaves you dumbfounded.

The only soulas you have is that there is a reason why they are in their late 30's and or 40's and still single. More times then not it has everything to do with them and not you.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Depends on how attached I'm to them

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

my first love took a year of no contact- feelings? Gone

He didn't like me back nor get it, (he thought I was too young and didn't get love, or whatever), so I told him my mom demanded "no phone for a year," and we'd pick up like normal after the year.

He agreed unenthusiastically, and voila, he and I were mutual FRIENDS again. He has a girlfriend in present day, and we talk here and there.

My first and longest emotionally-charged relationship- that was LDR- lasted 4-6 months and it took me 2-3 months to get over because, after all the helplessness in the 4-6 months, I was pretty much ready and understanding it would never be. The 2-3 months after, just helped me to forget, really.

A friend I had a crush on took half a year. Things never got past the dug out lol never hit any of the bases, and though it was a quiet closure, it felt nasty. (Maybe my perspective, also considering I had really invested myself into the friendship- whether he knows it or not).

*** MY PEOPLE'S lol ideally DON'T take a year for every single person you date because that adds up at the end of one's life. Lol.

Feel what you gotta feel, but once you know it will never happen- FORGET THEM and quickly move on to the other options/ possibilities waiting for you.

Best to you.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

This usually depends on how long you were WITH that someone. If it's been a few months, should take a few months. If it's a few years, might take almost as long, unless the end had happened long before the actual end of things.

It has to do with many factors.

By the time I had my divorce after I'd been married 17 years, it was simply a relief. We hadn't had much of a relationship for many years, so I was glad to be done. But if you're not the person asking for the relationship to end, it might take longer. If you are, I'm sure it takes less time.

But the bottom line is, the end of a relationship is rather sad if you were invested in it. Give yourself time, get some counseling and be around supportive friends and family. All things must pass, and will.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

If someone had a special meaning to you, they are never totally erased from your heart, and they shouldn’t be. Hopefully, you learned some lessons and are a better person for the experience. If it was a longer relationship (like at least 6 months) then a month or two is usually enough for people to start moving forward again.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

If I want to get over somebody - I can get over them in under 2 days and if I don't want to get over somebody it could take over 4 years. For me love is a choice, I can turn my feelings off any time I want.

Avicenna · Answer

Depends on how serious things were. If it was a fling, it takes almost no time at all.

ohsheeT · Answer

That really depends on you or each individual we're all different but what I found is that if you stay busy if you understand why you still like that person so much then that would help you have to understand that most people think that when they're with somebody that somebody makes them feel a certain way and around about way that's true but to be honest with you we already have all those energies emotions feelings inside of us and what happens is when we meet somebody it's new refreshing they open doors up with inside of us to allow those feelings to come out you have to understand that you are the only person in the world that can make you feel anything sad or happy because it comes from the inside of you and you're the only person on the inside of you so when you meet somebody and you fall deeply in love because of what they make you feel you have to understand they're just open up that door for that new experience you're the one that allows that emotion out so you can feel it

qwert1234 · Answer

I'll be honest, the last 2 ex's I had, took me 2+ years to totally get over them. Let me explain.

A few months after the break up, I feel like I got over them because I am no longer thinking about them - but the emptiness is still there. There is this gap that shows daily - which is usually back then occupied by us talking.

I go in phases; I don't want to say depression but it's up and down. Sometimes it's ok, then the next hour you are sad without reason. Then suicide comes to mind. I know I will not do it, but still, the thought is there. Then, I will be happy again.

This goes on for like a year.

Fireguy17 · Answer

That can depend on a few things.

If the relationship fizzled out over time, not long at all.

If you think things are fine and you come home early and there is your wife doinking the landlord, about 15 seconds.

Someone you really care about and are planning to marry and she says she is leaving you a long time.

It can also depend on the person.

If you have a good friend base, keep busy the other person will kind of fade away, but they are never really forgotten.

megabamse · Answer

That all depends from person to person, what happened, how in love you where, how much time you had together and bunch of stuff like that. There is no universal answer to this. Some gets over it right away and some never do but it the feeling of loss goes down over time and what's left you learn to live with it. What important is to never stop your daily routines, keep yourself busy, keep yourself healthy and just take one day at a time. And what's unhealthy would to be looking at their pictures and stalking them online. Focus on yourself during this time, keep the house clean, see some friends. Just take a day at the time. Take moment to cry if you need to.

Anarcamus · Answer

Depends on how honest you are with yourself, the world and the other person in regards to the end of David relationship. Somehow I thought 8 years and exclusive at the end results in her getting engaged a month later and you all know me as the toxic Narc Ex... and have for years it seems.

drummerdude25 · Answer

Took me a while honestly… a few years to feel 100% again, the one time I really felt something for someone…

The hurt drove me to do a lot of things I normally wouldn’t have. Moving away, starting over, trying to just put everything in the past... It all helped a lot and has had other positive effects on my life, but even that didn’t fix it completely at the time.

Now I’m all good… just keeping my eyes open for a good catch. Trying to get everything right in my life.

mb120101 · Answer

It depends on how deep the relationship was and how much I was into her honestly. It took me a month with one ex and almost a year with another. Also it depends if I was the one to end it or not. When you break up with someone you're already getting over it but getting dumped is like a slap in the face

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Usually not long. Maybe a few weeks. But in my mid-twenties once it took me about a year. I was in a year-long relationship and much of my life was built around her and I was also good friends with her brothers. So when we split up I lost a good portion of my social life.

CaptainOverthink · Answer

For a long time is was about 3 years but then I was dwelling a lot .. nowadays it's more like a few months. The difference is that I keep myself occupied. You must fill out your time with other things otherwise what else is there to do but wallow in sorrow.

On_cloud_wine · Answer

The more you sleep around, the easier it is to get over someone. You realize it’s all a game and all they want from you is pussy. So next time a guy tells you he wants to impregnate you, make love to you and have his babies, he’s really just saying, “shut up and spread your legs bitch”

Justmeagain1 · Answer

This most recent one I can feel it in my core and it’s going to take a while. Probably forever. I waited 20 years to get things going again (we were high school lovers- he then got married shortly after me). Now I don’t know why the universe put us back in touch but it’s gunna be tough. I had a toxic ex once upon a yesteryear that took 7 years to move past.

Cathy7734 · Answer

This is a good question. I'm unable to answer it but I do have some insight. A friend of mine breeds and trains dogs and sells them. He said he gets emotionally attached to some of the puppies. I asked him how do you handle the loss if someone buys a puppy. He said he just gets other puppies and that eases the pain and suffering.

Rei13 · Answer

Honestly it takes me way too long to get over someone if I actually liked them. If I didn’t, within a few days tops. The general rule is half the time you dated but there is really no right or wrong length of time so long as you’re coping in a healthy way

marrk · Answer

The last relationship, I was in a ldr and I broke it off so I obviously was over it already.

The one before my last relationship, I was in it for 9 months and it took 2 years to get over.

Dating? We “break up” and I’m onto the next one. I know what I want.

Kabluie · Answer

It could be awhile, I talked about it here for a bit that one LTR was knowing someone for years and then uncontrollable things like mental health get in the way where it wasn't anyone's fault, makes it even harder. It was months on end, even after seeing and sleeping with other people it doesn't just go away. It's a process, and getting to a point where emotionally this is what it is.

sheikalana · Answer

For me usually takes 6 months to one year to get over someone. However, I've seen people still thinking about their ex after 2, 3 years or more. After my last relationship I refused to stay home crying and met someone after two months and we're still together.

UnknownSwede · Answer

That's like answering how long a rope is. It all depends on the relationship, how it ended, your feelings towards them, if you meet someone new and you as a person.

There are people I don't feel like I'm over even though it's been years and I never got real closure.

RHK36 · Answer

Varies from relationship to relationship. The older I've gotten the easier it's been. I want to say a serious relationship nowadays maybe a week.

I was previously married, but my wife at the time cheated on me. Took me a month to get over her. She moved back in with her parents, so it was more that action that led me to move on. Once she got other people involved, I was like oh she moved on. Now I can too. So honestly just varies because every relationship is different.

poetic_pisces · Answer

depends Really.

getting over a lover or a friend or the death of a family member is hard

but Everything depends on the situation

like if this person was kind. nice and had a good impact on my life then yeah it will take me years..

but if this person was toxic. brought out the worst in me then it will be easier

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

Studies have shown it takes an average of 6 months for the heart to move on from a serious long term relationship. (I don't have sources, you're just gonna have to trust me)

8InchesChris · Answer

You never get over real first love, u can distract it with another man/woman, but it always comes round. Am 25 almost and 7 years ago i had my first love, now we would kill "not" to see eacb other for a second. So yeah it can be shitty, dirty whatever just be strong and u will get through it.

Anemone978 · Answer

I always feel a bit of sadness when losing someone out of my life.. even friends.. It all depends on how much I liked the person. It can take months to get over someone or even years if I really loved them...

catiecatie · Answer

Depends on who it is. Last guy I was into took at 4 months, the last relationship took me 6 months to finally move on. The current guy I like is only a little over a month so I hope it works out as it seems like he is interested in me as well.

NathanDavis · Answer

not a lot...

but, I have been lucky to not end up in bad terms with anyone so there is not so much to recover from

it was mutual agreement and talked about, it was for the best so, that makes it much easier I imagine

ameliadelaney · Answer

The process of getting over someone varies from person to person and depends on various factors, such as the nature of the relationship, the reason for the breakup, the level of emotional attachment, and the coping mechanisms of the individual. Some people may take weeks or months to move on, while others may take years. It is important to give oneself time and seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if needed.

DarkCarousel · Answer

It varies. Typically a year or more. I haven’t been in very many relationships but each of those, I had wanted to last forever. I’m not a casual dater so it has taken a whole to recover from those.

nolabels · Answer

It's been 50+ years. I'll let you know if it ever happens. Really. For me, it never completely goes away. I imagine that most people would say the same thing.

Anonymous · Answer

For me, never. The pain is always there. It just builds and builds and I try to distract myself the best I can, which always leads to more pain. I sometimes think that’s how we die. The pain just builds up until we just don’t want to go on anymore

SnowedIn · Answer

It's not one set amount. It can be a week or never. Some people take a piece of your heart and never let go

Emelina · Answer

It took me almost 6 months, but now and then I still think about him as I don't have a boyfriend and its hard just to find someone that I would be compatible with.

CAPLOVE · Answer

If you really loved them you never will. If you don't like them that much or left them for someone else you'll get over them pretty fast.

slatyb · Answer

After being dumped? That depends on how I felt about her. There's only been one that I really missed. I was stuck on her for a while, then I met my wife and >poof!<

Anonymous · Answer

Usually not long. However, My first love I broke up with it took over 7 years for a closure and this very last one I broke up with, I am still chatting occasionally with him but still have love for him.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

It’s been 9 months and while I feel like I almost fully moved on, I still have some periods when I miss him.

strateguy632 · Answer

very short almost always. "break up" one evening and by following evening ready to meet the next.

FreyaRed · Answer

Just be honest with yourself without any type of wish think and you come after few hours to the conclusion "it's better that way"

Yannishka · Answer

A day. Or on the spot. I am okay with it, but I think it's strange. The worst thing is that I wish that it hurt but it doesn't.

jshm2 · Answer

About 40 seconds. It's not that deep, fam. Life is too short to pine away like some sort of romance novel.

sheena30 · Answer

don't know how true this is but I have heard it takes some until they meet some one else,

Reem12345reem · Answer

it took me 3 hours but honestly I didn't really love him that much , we were in a 3 or 4 months rltp and known each other for more than 1 year

normalice · Answer

I mourn everything in advance so it wouldn't take long.

Siri137 · Answer

Far too long, which is why I'm thinking of staying single.

smashleyy · Answer

For it to stop hurting, 3 months. To be over it completely, a year.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

Depends on how intense the relationship/break up was. But typically at least a year.

TheThingALing · Answer

Wasted too much time in last one. Silver lining is I was over the moment I left

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Depends... how long is it going to take to bang someone new?

abc3643 · Answer

So, far 31.5 years and counting... (I have a feeling that's not going to change.)

AlexEfron · Answer

8 months and counting. I didn't just lose my partner, I lost my dearest friend. Had she not been my closest friend, it probably would've been much easier.

crossdressingrihno · Answer

A couple days. Im really good at getting over trauma so breakups are nothing.

es20490446e · Answer

My failed first love took 2 years. It may be quite sooner if you see that all was a fantasy.

Rangers · Answer

You can't ever completely get over someone, unless you never cared about them to begin with, which isn't the case for me

RingOfFire · Answer

Well let's see... 50 years and counting and I still think about my first love now and then.

Raaj4you · Answer

It depends on the person. For some it's easy and for some it's tough. For me it was tough bcoz I am an emotional guy. I fell for the wrong, heartless girls.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

A really really long time. Like 1-2 years. I know I hate myself for that too lol.

Anonymous · Answer

depends. if you really love someone you will never really get over them. that part of you will numb with sparks of pain.

EVERYONEDIED · Answer

everyone forgets. either today or tomorrow. but forget

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

If they were your first real love, then you'll likely never get over them 100%. If s/he hurt you, then you almost certainly won't.

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